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“Let her go,” I say, and he smiles, points to a container at my side. It’s smaller than the others, already half empty.
“Show me you’re serious,” he says.
I can smell it everywhere already. The stench is already pooling under my feet.
“And you’ll let her go?”
“Yeah, I’ll let her go.”
In for a fucking penny. Abigail screams as I tip that chemical shit all over myself. It stinks so bad it catches in my throat.
“Wow. You really love her, don’t you?” Jake says, but I don’t grace him with an answer.
I breathe in relief as he yanks her to her feet and sets her off in my direction. She runs at me with too much force to hold her off, even as I’m soaking through.
“No,” I say. “Abigail, you’ve got to get out of here, don’t get this shit on you. Get into the truck and drive away.”
I tug the twine from her wrists as she shakes her head. Her eyes are streaming but open wide. “No.”
“Yes. Right fucking now.”
She’s trying to tell me something, but we don’t have time. She shrieks as I hoist her and dump her on the other side of the racking. She’s climbing back over even as I curse.
And Jake laughs.
He fucking laughs.
“Why do they love you so much?” he asks. “They’re all fucking crazy for you.”
“Maybe because I’m not a total fucking head case,” I tell him. “I don’t know what the fuck’s happened to you, Jake. What do you even fucking want from me?” I shrug. “Mariana’s fucking gone. Dead. It’s over.”
“Not for me, it’s not,” he hisses. “Phoenix. Fucking phoenix. There’s no fucking salvation for me, Leo, I’m still in the fucking ashes.”
“So you keep telling me, Jake. Christ. Set us on fire or stop fucking wallowing already, will you?”
“NO!” Abigail screams. “DON’T!”
But it’s alright.
Whatever happens, it’s gonna be alright.
I’m tired of dreaming of flames. Tired of hating myself at the thought that Jake’s right and I could’ve really saved her.
“Please go outside,” I tell her. “I need to talk to my brother.”
“I can’t leave you,” she sobs. “Please don’t make me leave.”
I sigh at the beautiful realisation that she’d burn for me, just as I’d burn for her.
If I ever get out of this fucking place, I’m gonna marry that girl tomorrow.
I tell her so and she smiles.
“Is that a threat?” she asks through the tears.
“It’s a fucking promise.”
And Jake slow claps. He slow claps and ruins the moment, just as he ruins fucking everything.
“This is how it should have been with Mariana and me,” he snarls. “I was gonna fucking marry her. Not as if you ever fucking did. Never came close to putting a ring on her finger.”
“She didn’t want one,” I tell him, and I’m not lying. “Said a ring was nothing more than an expensive shackle for the soul.”
He smiles. “Sounds like her.”
I lean in close to Abigail. My mouth is as close to her ear as I dare. “Did he hurt you?”
She shakes her head. “No. Kept threatening, but nothing.”
I kiss her forehead. “Wait for me, just outside that door.”
She looks back at it, at the warped metal all twisted and bitter. “That’s the one, isn’t it? The one you couldn’t get through?”
I nod. “That’s the one, but today it’s wide open. I just want to keep you out of the flames.
My eyes are dark on hers, I hope she sees me inside. I hope she sees that I’m sure.
“Just there,” she says and points. “I’ll be just there.”
“Good girl,” I say, and she is. She’s the very fucking best. Everything I ever wanted.
Oh, how fate is fucking laughing.
I breathe easy when she’s a little way away from all this shit. And then I step up to my brother.
“Good use of five grand, Jake. A lot of guys will go without their wages next week so you can burn us alive. I hope that makes you proud.”
He smiles. “You always were a funny fucker, Leo.”
“And you were always my fucking brother,” I tell him, and then I sigh. “If we’re both gonna burn in here tonight then I guess we should at least clear the air before we do.”
He stares at me with eyes like mine. So much like mine.
“You start,” he says.
I start with a truth I should have told him a long time ago. It feels surprisingly good to get it off my chest.
“She should’ve been yours. You were right. It was on the cards, you and her – was from the moment she saw you. I remember how loved up you were when you found the girl outside and dragged her into our office for that poxy interview.”
He smirks. “Had to drag her in, yeah. Claimed indoor work made her soul shrivel.”
“I know you loved her,” I tell him. “I know she loved you, too. What you had was more than I ever had with her. We were teeth and nails and crazy nights on the hills. You were steady. Kind. Exactly what she needed.”
