And we have liftoff . . . again.
“Hi, Mason.” Her face lights up with surprise when she sees me. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in Vegas?”
I hold out the brown bag in front of me. “When I found out that you were staying home with Luca, I didn’t really see the need to be there.”
Her brows furrow. “So, you flew all the way home because I wasn’t there?”
“It wasn’t that big of a deal. I didn’t really want to go anyway.” I try to dismiss my obvious rash decision. “And I thought I’d bring you both dinner. It’s chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese.”
Bailey moves to the side, allowing me to come in. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to,” I admit. Her eyes meet mine, and all I want to do is kiss her. I want to feel her petite body up against mine.
“Thank you. Luca is on the couch. You want to go say hi?” She gestures for me to head into the living room.
“Yes, is that okay?”
“Of course, he just got out of the bath. He hasn’t had much of an appetite, but I’m sure he’ll love some real chicken noodle soup.”
Luca is snuggled up into the side of the couch with his shark pajamas on and his favorite blanket firmly tucked between his arms.
“Hey, buddy. Are you feeling alright?” My voice is low, trying my best not to disturb the movie he’s watching. I settle into the opposite side of the couch, keeping some distance for Bailey to sit between us.
“My nose is running a lot.” His little voice answers me while his eyes stay locked on the TV.
“Your mom told me. I’m sorry. I’m sure you’ll feel better in a few days,” I say.
Bailey comes over with the soup in a little bowl, taking the spot between me and Luca.
Over the next hour, the three of us sit on the couch, watching the movie together. We laugh at the same time and comment about the same things. I haven’t watched an animated movie since I was a kid. After finishing the entire bowl of soup, Luca hands it to Bailey and lies back down.
“Let me take it to the kitchen for you.” I pop up, taking the dish from her grasp.
“You sure?”
“Yes, of course.” Taking the bowl to the kitchen, I decide to just hand wash it so she can focus on Luca. Without realizing, I continue to wash the rest of the dishes in the sink as well. As soon as they’re dried and put away, I collect the remainder of the plastic to-go containers and throw them into the trash.
My eyes shift over the sink and directly into the living room. I’m lost in the moment watching them, mesmerized at how perfect they are together—this little family. Bailey has both of her legs bent to the side, resting on top of the couch while Luca is wrapped like a burrito in his blanket with his head on her lap. She’s lightly rubbing his forehead while her face remains facing forward.
I find myself not wanting to take my eyes off of them,off of her.My chest swells, but as fast as the feelings come, those fleeting thoughts are quickly extinguished like a balloon losing helium. My shoulders shrink with defeat and look away. I’m filled with sadness, realizing that I’ll never have this, and it reminds me that Bailey and Luca are not my family. The echoing in my brain replays her words, stating so clearly that she isn’t interested in having a man in her life—or Luca’s.
I quietly walk back over to the couch, sinking into the spot next to her. This time a little closer. Without being too obvious, I bring my left arm over the back of the couch, resting it on hershoulder. I gently nudge her down into the crook of my arm. Bailey leans her body into mine but not without bringing Luca down with her. He curls into her side, resting his head on her chest. Looking to the left, I take in the sight of the three of us, and it’s hard to believe what I’m seeing because I have these precious people safely and securely in my arms. A situation that I never imagined myself being in.
She angles her head back with a big smile, reaching all the way up to the corners of her hazel eyes. With my gaze focused down, I have to fight the urge to bring my lips to hers because Luca is right here. So instead, I squeeze her in tighter, trying to release the tension building within me. She lays her head on my chest then turns back to the TV.
This moment with Bailey and Luca feels surreal and so right. It’s natural and there is nowhere in the world I’d rather be. But yet, I feel like an imposter. An imposter hiding behind the lies of entertaining far-off dreams of happiness, even though I’m sure they’ll never happen.
It is nice to pretend, though.
Sometime later, I wake to Bailey shifting underneath me. The movie is off, and the room is dark, outside of the soft glow coming from the lights scattered throughout the large space. The three of us must have fallen asleep.
“I’m going to take Luca to bed,” she whispers while lifting off the couch. Bailey slides her arms underneath his curled body and picks him up, still wrapped in his dinosaur blanket.
“Do you want me to get him for you?” I ask, starting to get up.
She quietly shakes her head. “No, I got him.”
He’s almost the length of her, and I can’t help but chuckle when I see her walk toward his bedroom. Luca is more than half of her and yet she still manages to lift him up. The more time I spend with Bailey, the more I realize what a great mom she is. And it’s so fucking sexy.
