He steps back, dropping his hands from my face.
I slowly open my eyes to see his glossed over.
Mason straightens, squaring his shoulders. “I guess you’re right then.” He walks past me and out the front door.
When the door shuts, the sound vibrates through my chest. A punch to the gut. My body falls to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. I believe this is the right decision, but why does it feel like it isn’t?
I can’t sleep at all tonight. I’ve been tossing and turning, my brain trying to figure out how I got myself into this mess and how I let it get this far. I’ve gotten up three times already, determined to get on that elevator and race to Mason’s door to tell him that I am sorry and that I want to give us a chance because we could be good—really good.
Now, I’m up for the fourth time, tightly hugging my pillow with my eyes stuck on the empty space on Mason’s side of the bed. The wetness seeping through the bottom of my eyelids spreads through the fabric of the cotton pillowcase. I lie here until the damp fabric sticks to my cheeks, causing me to roll over once again. Noticing that the entire left side of my face is swollen from the pressure of lying and crying on it for so long, I just give in to it.
It’s not like he’s slept here that often in the last few months, but it’s always been his side when he has. Since the very first night.
My body feels anxious, so I flip on my back to get comfortable, but I can’t. It’s hard to believe it’s been over four months. It took four months to go from completely despising him for the last six years to falling purely and utterly in love with him. I run both my hands through my hair before letting my left one fall to thepillow next to me. Gliding my palm over the soft fabric, I am overcome with sadness.
I am doing the right thing, aren’t I?
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Bailey
Iwake up to the heat of the sun shining through the small slits in my bedroom shutters. The moment I open my eyes, the anguish that I felt last night hits me like a force I’ve never known. My heart is broken, and it aches inside my chest, causing me to feel an overwhelming sense of defeat.
A text from my mom comes through right away.
Mom: Good morning, hun, why don’t you come get Luca early and I’ll make you a nice breakfast.
I smile at my mom’s message. Throughout my entire life, that lady has tried to fix everything with food. Bad break up? Here, have some pasta. Bad day at school? Here, have a grilled cheese sandwich. Breakfast at my parents’ house sounds so comforting right now. Not to mention, I’m dying for a snuggle from my Luca.
Me: I’ll be over in twenty.
Mom: Good. See you soon.
I peel myself out of bed and head right for the bathroom to take a hot shower. Standing against the wall, I let the water scorch my skin, and all my muscles instantly relax.
When I saw Mason again for the first time in years, sitting at that bar in the airport it felt like he ignited something in me that I haven’t felt since the last time I saw him at my brother’s college graduation. He was leaving a week later to move back to California, and I’d be lying to myself if there wasn’t a part of me that became somber at the realization that I’d no longer be seeing him.
As soon as I walk out my door, the image of Mason standing here in his white hoodie and jeans last night flashes in my mind. He looked so good. My chin trembles, tears begin to fill my eyes once again. I swallow them down and get into the elevator.
A short drive later, I’m rounding the corner into my mom and dad’s neighborhood when I spot Harry’s car in the driveway.Shit.He is the last person I want to see right now but fuck him. This is my parents’ house too.
Before I get out of the car, I flip down the visor to wipe the tears away from underneath my eyes. The mirror is not my friend this morning. I look like I haven’t slept in days; my eyes are puffy and red. I force a smile on my face and prepare for a possible war with my big brother.
Opening the door to my parents’ house is like walking into a small-town breakfast restaurant. The smells of scrambled eggs and bacon wash a sense of coziness over me.
My face lights up the moment I see my Luca sitting at the table eating a stack of Mickey-shaped pancakes. My dad is perched in his favorite chair with a “World’s Best Grandpa” coffee mug in one hand and the lifted side of the newspaper in the other. At first glance, I don’t see my brother, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t hiding somewhere, getting ready to ambush me.
Harry and I have always had an extremely close relationship, despite the times when he’s been an overprotective brother who perpetually crossed the lines of my personal life. Throughoutour childhood, we have had many blow-up fights and screaming matches, but we always seem to make up shortly after.
The situation we’re in currently is one we’ve never been in before because now I have feelings for one of his best friends. I always understood his protective nature when it came to Tyler, but with Mason, it doesn’t seem as justified.
My mom is in the kitchen with her head down over the stove making scrambled eggs.
“It smells so good in here,” I say, setting my bag down on the console in the hallway.
Luca whips his head around to see me. “Mommy!” he calls out, jumping off his chair and running into my arms. “Grammy made me Mickey pancakes!”
“I see that. Grammy makes the best pancakes, doesn’t she?” I say, cuddling him close.
