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I looked around, then crawled over a dismantled bed and tugged a metal hanging rod from a tapestry. Back at the drawer, I wedged the narrow end of the rod into the top gap. The bar was slightly too thick, and it took some work to shove it in there, but finally I had enough through. Then I moved alongside the bar, put both hands on it, and slammed the bar down. Wood cracked. The drawer gave way, and I stumbled forward, catching myself before I fell. I looked back, to see the drawer still in place--but the front panel lying on the floor.
"That'll work, too," I murmured.
I reached into the drawer. My fingers clasped metal. I pulled it out...and found myself holding nothing but a silver chain.
"Goddamn it!" I whipped the chain across the room. "After all that..."
I cursed again, spun on my heel to stomp out, then stopped. Slow down and be sure. I turned back to the chest, crouched, and peered into the dark depths of the broken drawer. Empty. No--be absolutely sure.
I waved my light-ball down. As it moved, the light glinted off something in the very back of the drawer. I reached inside. My fingers found the top edge of a disk wedged in the back of the drawer. I traced my index finger over a half-circle of cool metal. The rest of it was stuck in the crack between the drawer's rear panel and base.
Resisting the urge to rip the drawer apart, I carefully worked the piece out. Finally it came free, and the drawer popped open. I wrapped my hand around the metal disk and pulled it out. It had better not be a worthless old coin, or I was going to scream loud enough to bring both Trsiel and the Nix running.
I straightened, then slowly opened my hand. There, on my palm, lay what did indeed look like a cheap coin, a plain silver disk with writing around the edges. Yet I didn't even need to glance at the inscription to know that this was the amulet. I could feel it, the power of it, pulsating against my skin.
The power of transmigration. The power to inhabit a corporeal being, to fully occupy and control that body, to enact one's will on the living world. This was what I'd been searching for. I was half-demon. I could use this amulet. I could see my daughter, be with her, speak to her, touch her. Protect her.
If I'd had this that day in the community center, I could have protected her, instead of being forced to stand by, helpless.
And what would you have done? whispered Kristof's voice. Leapt into the nearest person, jumped into the bullet's path, and killed your host, only to discover Savannah wasn't even in danger? And how will you make sure you're there if something like that ever happens again? Do you plan to follow her around every hour of every day, a spectral guard dog, always at her heels?
I shivered. I couldn't be there all the time. I didn't want to be there all the time. I wanted...
I squeezed my hand tight around the amulet and closed my eyes.
>
I wanted my own life. Here. In this world.
Eyes still closed, I put in a mental call to Trsiel. Almost immediately, I heard soft footfalls in the tunnel.
"Thank God," I murmured.
I hurried to the door. I stepped out and saw a dim figure down the corridor--a figure far too small and too blond to be Trsiel. The Nix.
36
I BACKPEDALED BEFORE SHE SAW ME. AFTER ONE MORE mental shout to Trsiel, I looked down at the amulet in my hand. If she found me, she'd better not find this. She'd heard Dantalian say it was in a drawer, so I shoved my hand into a roll of carpet and dropped the amulet inside. Then I took two steps back and cast a cover spell.
The Nix's footsteps drew closer. They stopped outside the room.
"Someone's made a mess in here," she murmured. She walked to the middle of the room and looked around. "Did they find what they were looking for? Let's hope not."
She opened the nearest drawer, then stopped, gaze catching on the broken drawer panel on the ground...on the ground at my feet. She moved toward it. Shit! A couple more steps and she'd smack right into me, breaking my cover spell.
I waited until she was close enough to reach out and touch. Then I let loose a front kick that caught her square in the jaw, and sent her sailing across the room. Before she could recover, I slammed her with a roundhouse kick to the gut then, as she crumpled forward, an uppercut to the jaw knocked her off her feet and flipped her backward, her head cracking against a marble bust. As she staggered back up, I darted behind her and kicked her in the ass, knocking her face-first to the dirt floor.
"Come on," I said. "Get up again. Please."
She pushed up to all fours, then lifted her head and glared at me.
"Oh, come on," I said. "I can't kick you when you're down. That's not fair."
When she didn't move, I whirled and slammed a front kick into her the bottom of her jaw, toppling her over onto her back.
"Screw fair," I said. "This is too much fun."
Yet, as much fun as it was, I knew I couldn't keep it up forever. Where the hell was Trsiel? As a last resort, I put my fingers in my mouth and whistled as loud as I could. As I did, the Nix sprang to her feet. I kicked. Her hand shot out, grabbing for my foot. I managed to abort the kick just as her fingers grazed my ankle. I danced away, out of reach of that iron grip.
