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"I--I--" I heaved, slapping my hand over my mouth. "Oh, God. I need air."
He hesitated. It was safer with me in the car. "The air's not much fresher out here. Worse even. All the carbon monoxide."
I looked into his eyes. "Please."
A pause. Then, "Yeah. Okay. But just for a minute."
Mission accomplished.
He led me over to a pillar near the railing, far enough back so I wouldn't be seen, but close enough to catch the breeze.
"Sonny's going to come out right over there. Any minute. Then I'm getting you back in that car before he finds out."
I nodded. He kept one arm around my waist, the other holding my arm, supporting me as I leaned against the pillar.
"I'm sorry, Hope. I really am. It was a helluva thing to do to you, but I had to. If I'd let you know what I planned, you would have been an accomplice in Paige's death. I wouldn't do that to you."
And you think I'm not an accomplice now? I brought her to you.
He fingered the gouges on his cheek. "I deserved every one of them. And more. But once you get past this, you'll see there wasn't any other way. She's gone to the other side now, and she's okay. All those good deeds she did here? She's in the best place they've got. And Lucas will be with her soon, and they'll be happy. Do you think she'd really prefer it the other way? Kidnapped, terrified and alone, finally rescued only to discover that the man she loved has changed into someone she doesn't recognize? She's better off."
There was no pleading in his voice. He honestly believed Paige was happier dead, and that it was only a matter of time before I "came around."
I resisted the urge to push him away and s
tand on my own feet. I could. Almost as soon as I'd awoken, the effects of the drugs had worn off. I'd gotten him out here, alone, and now I had to...
To what?
Run away? Where? Kill him and drag him, like a trophy, back to the Cabal? Throw myself on their mercy?
To my shame, there was a fraction of my soul that didn't want to do anything. That just wanted to throw up its hands and go along for the ride. Abdicate responsibility. Overthrow conscience. Join Jaz and believe in his mad dreams.
It was a tiny part, but it had to be acknowledged. That's what Karl had tried to tell me last night. I couldn't keep pretending that part didn't exist. I had my demon, and it wasn't evil any more than was his wolf. It just wasn't human. It lacked the ability to comprehend the conscious lives of others. It hungered and it desired and it knew nothing else, strove for nothing else but the satisfaction of those hungers and desires.
The human in me would never pass a car accident and see a covered body without feeling a jab of grief for a life lost. The demon could see only what it could take from that death: chaos. Likewise with the wolf, who would see only a meal already brought down. Not evil. Just not human.
When the demon whispered in my ear, telling me it would be easier to give in to Jaz, accept the chaos feast he'd set at my feet in offering, I couldn't be horrified by the impulse. I had to listen, refuse and move on.
"Oh, there he is. Let's scoot you back in the car."
My chance was evaporating. Was I strong enough yet to knock him out? Was I ever strong enough? The element of surprise. That was my only hope.
I let him lead me toward the car. I saw his gun on the front seat, where he must have laid it while trying to get me into the back. If I could swing the door open, hit him, grab the--
The flash of fangs. A growl that skittered down my spine. I went rigid, a name on my lips. Karl. I looked around, but of course, he wasn't there. A vision. Meaning he was close.
"Hope?" Jaz's voice. His hand squeezed mine, the other still around my waist.
Where is she? The snarled question reverberated through my head. A crack. Blinding pain. Only I didn't feel pain. Just chaos, rippling through the air, floating up from...
My gaze flew to the railing.
"Hope? What do you--?"
Jaz followed my gaze. A small noise. An odd noise. Like a tiny chirp of fear. He dropped me and ran for the railing.
"Son--!"
