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ting her. I managed to keep my mouth shut until Adam and I were in the airport terminal, looking at the departure screens.
"There's a flight to Orlando in a few hours," I said. "We could switch to that, and drive down, so we have more time to help Elena."
Adam's shoulders tightened. He kept his gaze on the screen. "No."
"I'm not stalling. I just don't think we need to rush off and leave Elena saddled with Roni."
"Elena has two four-year-olds. She can handle Roni."
I stepped between him and the screen. "I'm not stalling, Adam. I swear, if you book that Orlando flight, I will get on it. But there's no reason we can't wait another couple of hours if it helps Elena."
A pause, then a slow nod. He took out his phone. "Okay, I'm going to e-mail you the boarding pass. You fly to Miami. I'll switch to the Orlando flight."
"What?"
"You're right. Elena could use help, but we both don't need to stay, especially when you don't have your spells. Not that I need to remind you of that issue, because it's the reason you'll do anything to avoid getting your ass on that plane."
"What the hell does my spell problem have to do with not wanting to go to Miami?"
Adam noticed people were starting to stare. He turned and strode back outside, then kept walking until he was past the line of taxis and drop-offs, never once checking to make sure I was behind him. When he found a quiet spot, he wheeled.
"The only reason I haven't said anything until now is because I know if I do, you'll freak out. You'll deny it and you'll tell me off, and then you'll run."
I set my shoulders. "I'm not running, Adam. I was scared, okay? I'm dealing with it now--"
"Like hell you are. You're still scared. Scared shitless, and I know that because I know how important your magic is to you. So I've been careful. Damned careful. Thinking if I just kept prodding you in the right direction, I could steer you to Miami. But that's not happening. You keep putting it off, doing whatever the hell you want, treating me like a goddamned puppy that'll toddle after you--"
"I've never treated you--"
"I'm not following you anymore, Savannah. I'm not taking care of you anymore."
"Take care of me? No one needs to--"
"I'm going to tell you why you're not going to Miami. And if you get pissed off and leave, I'm not coming after you."
"I never asked you to come after--"
"You don't want to tell Paige and Lucas that you've lost your spells because you're afraid things will change if you're not a spellcaster. You're afraid they'll treat you differently. You're afraid everyone will, but most of all, you're afraid they will. You lost your mother and your father, and you found another family, and you're terrified of losing them."
"Losing my family? I'm not twelve anymore, Adam."
"When it comes to them, you are. You didn't go to college because you were afraid to leave. Afraid when you came back things would be different. Maybe they wouldn't even expect you to come back. You aren't their kid, after all. Once they got you off to college, their duty was done."
"Paige and Lucas would never--"
"Oh, you know they'd still be your friends. But your relationship with them might change. That's why you didn't go to college and it's why you won't move out. You're afraid of losing your family and becoming just a friend and employee. Now you're scared of losing that, too. If you aren't a supernatural, can you still work for the agency? Still hang out with the council? Still help Paige with her witch students? Maybe you'll become just another human friend, cut out of the center of their lives."
"Wow," I said. "You are so right. Isn't it amazing what deep insights you can get from a single credit in psychology. Or did you even pass that course?"
He went very still. His eyes didn't blaze fire, though. They hardened, and he started to retreat behind them. Closing off. Pushing me out.
A voice in my head screamed that I'd gone too far, that I needed to back up now. Apologize. Tell him he was right, even if he wasn't. Fix this before it was too late.
I couldn't do it, though. Drowning out that voice was an overwhelming need to shove back. Close down before he closed down. Push him out before he pushed me.
We glared at each other, then I turned on my heels and walked away. He didn't follow.
Rage and denial came first. What the hell was he talking about? Is that really what he thought of me? Some weak little girl scared of losing Mommy and Daddy again? I thought he knew me better than anyone and obviously he didn't know me at all.
