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"I won't let them take you, Maya," he whispered. "I swear I won't. I'd never do that."
He pulled me back under the spray and spoke against my ear. "They grabbed me when I got to town. It's the St. Clouds. They have Annie. Either I help them or they won't help her. I ... I had to, Maya."
His eyes pleaded with me to believe him. I did. Annie meant everything to him. If they had her, he'd go along with any plan to save her. But that didn't mean I didn't feel like I'd been betrayed. By someone I'd finally trusted.
"I know this means it's over," he whispered. "I got a second chance, and I blew it, and I..." He swallowed and turned his head, his expression hidden behind the curtain of water. "I'd give anything not to do that. I would, Maya. I know you don't believe me, but it's true."
When I pushed past the pain of betrayal, I did believe him. Because he'd let go of my hand as we dangled from that helicopter. Because he'd been ready to die to save me. And because even if he wasn't looking me in the face, I could hear the pain in his voice.
"It's going to be okay," he said. "I wouldn't let anything happen to you. I have a plan and you'll be safe."
"And the others?"
"Them, too." He looked at me again, still close enough to whisper through the pounding water, close enough for me to feel the heat of his breath. "I know that's just as important to you, and I swear everyone will be okay. For now, though, you need to go along with the plan. It's the only way we'll get out of this place. And you can't tell the others."
"What?"
He gripped my arms and pulled me even closer, gaze locked on mine. "They need to act like everything's okay, so you can't tell them. Not even Daniel."
I backed up, freeing myself.
"That's the deal-breaker, isn't it?" he murmured. "Daniel."
"I trust--"
"I know you do. But I don't, and not because I think he's untrustworthy, but because I don't know him well enough to be sure he won't screw up. The only person I trust is you."
Then trust me when I say you can trust him. But that was asking too much, because if the situation was reversed, I'd say it was unfair. I trusted him. But would I put my family's life at risk if he gave his word that someone else could also be trusted? No.
"If things go wrong, I have to tell him," I said. "If he's in danger, I have to warn him."
Rafe hesitated, then nodded.
"There's no woman in Vancouver is there?" I said as I pushed back my wet hair. The water was cooling now. "No contacts your mom gave you."
"No, that's a story they fed me. But we're going to follow it, because getting you guys to Vancouver is the best chance you have."
You guys. Not us. Best chance you have. Not we.
"When we get to Vancouver, you'll pretend to suddenly realize it's a trap," he said. "You'll turn on me and you'll run, and leave me behind."
"But they'll--"
"They'll catch me. I know. It's the only way. They'll think I did my best, so Annie will be safe. I wish--" He looked away, then leaned toward my ear again so I couldn't see his face. "There's no other way. Annie needs me. And
you ... you don't. Not like that. You can look after yourself and..." He straightened and gave me a crooked smile. "By then you'll be happy to be rid of me, I'm sure."
I leaned forward and whispered, "No, I won't."
Then I kissed him. Just a kiss, my hands still at my sides. When I pulled back, he looked stunned. Then he rubbed his mouth and said, "I know that just means you understand. At least, I hope you do."
"I do."
I understand that you had an impossible choice to make. I understand that I couldn't be that choice. It had to be both of us--Annie and me--safe, and what you wanted didn't matter. Just like when you let go of my hands in the helicopter.
I said the same words he'd said to me before he'd let go.
"It's okay."
