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t Moreno sharply. "Guns? You are not teaching them--"
"They asked. Well, Ash did, and God forbid Miss Maya should miss out on anything."
"I just want to be ready in case you ever pull a gun on me again," I said as we resumed walking, leaving them to argue it out.
Climbing a cliff side. After a birthday party. Zooming up alongside Rafe as our friends cheered us on. It all felt very familiar. How much changes . . . and how little changes.
When we mentioned we wanted to rebuild our climbing wall, Antone said they'd get a construction team on it right away, recreating exactly the one we had in Salmon Creek. Which was more than a little creepy, really. So we insisted on doing it ourselves. I'd noticed footprints in the soft earth between our building sessions, telling me they were coming out to check our work and make sure it was safe, but they said nothing, just left us to it. Which was, so far, Sean's approach to us in general. He'd supply whatever we needed and he'd happily do things for us, but he seemed even more pleased if we did them ourselves. They wanted independent-minded, self-directed, capable young adults. And that's what we planned to be.
So now I was throwing a seventeenth birthday party for Daniel, just like he'd thrown my sixteenth one for me. And we were in another forest, climbing another wall. Rafe was beside me, for the final race, and as we climbed, it was just like the first time, me looking over, seeing his grin, feeling him there, swearing I could hear the pounding of his heart, spurring me on.
The same. Yet not the same.
Something had changed between us in the last eight months. I'm not sure when it started. There seemed to be no start. Just a gradual . . . change. I looked over and I saw him and his grin made my heart beat faster, but it was a different kind of beating. It was adrenaline and excitement and happiness. Nothing more. Maybe that's all it had ever been. Maybe I'd misinterpreted. Sometimes I wonder if Sam was actually right, and what Rafe and I felt--that crazy whirlwind of emotion--really had been just animal attraction. Like calling to like. The thrill of meeting another skin-walker, hormones twisting it into something else, something my brain mistook for love.
Or maybe it had been something, and with nothing to feed the flames, they just cooled and, eventually, extinguished altogether. We'd decided to back off and be friends, and there'd been a time, in the first few months, when I'd be with him and I'd want more, and I could tell he wanted more. But then those times came more rarely, until I could look at him now and see a friend. Just a friend. And I could tell he felt the same when he looked at me.
How did I feel about that? A little sad, I think. Part of me mourned what we'd had. It had been so new and so raw and so thrilling. And then, when it faded, it left me feeling . . . a little frightened, I guess. How can something that strong disappear so easily? No, not disappear. Mellow. Morph. Change into something good and real, but still, not the same, never again the same. I'm happy with what we have, but I do grieve a little, for what we had.
"Maya! Come on! He's gaining on you!"
I looked up and the sun hit me square in the eye, setting me blinking. Then a head moved in front of it. My spotter. The guy making sure I didn't fall. The guy who would always make sure I didn't fall.
Daniel grinned and it was like that sunlight hit me again, and I faltered.
"Hey! No! Keep going! You've gotta show him who's still top cat around here."
Rafe yelled something up. I didn't quite catch it, just kept staring at Daniel's grin, feeling tiny firecrackers igniting in my gut.
This had changed, too. My feelings for Daniel. Or not so much changed, as slid from the darkness and into the light.
I loved Daniel, and it wasn't a BFF kind of love or a brotherly kind of love. It was real and it was wonderful and it was absolutely terrifying, because the more I accepted it, the more I started to wonder what he really felt for me. Was it anything even approaching my feelings? I had no idea.
When I looked up at Daniel, I didn't feel what I'd felt for Rafe. It wasn't that consuming, blind, must-be-with-him-now need. It was a different need, more grounded, just as intense, stronger even, in its way. I wanted to get to him. Just get up there, feel his arms around me, inhale his scent, hear his laughter, and be with him. I wanted to grab my picnic basket, say good-bye to all our lovely-but-temporarily-inconvenient friends, and take Daniel for myself, someplace quiet, where we could be alone and . . .
And . . . Well, that was the obstacle I hadn't quite overcome yet. While I was happy to just be with him and talk to him and goof around with him, I could think of more I'd like to do. Enough to make me very glad no one could tell I was blushing. I settled for averting my eyes and focusing on the climb.
"Almost there!" Daniel called. "Pick it up a little! You can do it. You already beat Ash."
"My hand slipped," Ash muttered from somewhere above.
I looked up at Daniel again, caught his grin, and felt an extra jolt of adrenaline zip through me. Get to him. Just focus on that. Getting to him. Two more handholds. One more. Now reach--
"We have a winner!" Daniel shouted, and pulled me up for my victory hug.
We had our little party after that. I'd had pizza delivered by one of Moreno's security guys. They're very useful for that sort of thing. The Nasts aren't keen on announcing our presence to the outside world, so we can't order anything in, and the nearest village of any size is a thirty-minute drive down crappy roads, meaning our parents aren't eager to just "run into town" for us. That's what the security guys are for, apparently. It's not like we require much actual security.
We're more isolated than we were in Salmon Creek, but we're dealing with it. Monthly helicopter trips into Toronto help. They give us the Friday off so we can make a three-day weekend of it. They aren't yet letting us go without our parents--and Moreno's men--but we're working on that.
So we had our pizza-and-beer party. Derek and Chloe slipped out as soon as he got his pizza, Chloe saying they'd be back for the cake and gifts. Like Ash, Derek wasn't good with crowds. Or parties. Simon had no such reservations. He'd made himself a part of our group from the start. I had wondered if that would bother Derek, but it didn't seem to. He was happy to relinquish his brother to us and hang out with him other times.
Tori wasn't exactly a core part of our group. Neither was Hayley. They'd become fast friends, and tended to keep to themselves, though they'd join us for group events like this. I'd found a friend in the Genesis group, too. Or we were working in that direction. Chloe was still quiet, a little unsure of herself, most comfortable with Derek and her "tribe," but we hung out together more and more, which was nice. She didn't quite take Serena's place but was filling that void.
Of the Phoenix kids, the one Derek got along best with was Daniel. In him, Daniel had found a good sparring partner. And a plotting partner, too. Derek wasn't just the biggest and strongest in our group. He was also the smartest. Scary, off-the-charts smart. That intimidated Daniel a little at first--he's bright, but he needs to work for his grades. But Derek wasn't a show-off or a know-it-all, so they got past that and we would hang out together, the two guys, Chloe, and I planning and plotting our future, bouncing ideas off one another.
As for romance among the others, there was little of that so far. Corey and Hayley had taken another run at it, but I think Corey just felt bad about how he'd treated her before and when they tried again, they realized it wasn't really a good match. Ash and Tori snarled and snapped at each other enough that I thought there might be something there . . . if they didn't kill each other first. And Sam? Well, there was no one for Sam, which was one of the problems with our isolation. Even for the heterosexual kids, you couldn't expect everyone to just pair up out of necessity. A bigger dating pool was needed. I'd told Sean that. He understood and was working on ways to get us involved with our larger community, maybe lessons of some sort in a nearby city.
So life in Badger Lake wasn't perfect. But as much as we might hate to admit it, it was good. Really good. It wasn't a forever kind of life, but when I chafed at
