So I lie through my teeth. Er, fingers, as it were.
There has been no more kissing because it literally happened last night and we’ve been busy since then. He’s at a music festival. I fucked off to go investigating.
I don’t know how I’ll get proof of who it is though. Malachy doesn’t have any of hisprivate stuff in this castle. I think his setup is in some swanky office in Dublin.
COAL
due to personal reasons i’m gonna have to ask you not to go breaking into an office in dublin
I wasn’t suggesting I do. I just don’t know how to get proof that it was him so we can bring him down.
COAL
i’m worried about you.
i’m worried that mom rattled you.
I’m fine. We’re not going to their vow renewal. I should block her number.
COAL
YES YOU SHOULD.
don’t hate me but i think you’re doing exactly what we talked about last night. that you’re on the verge of sacrificing pieces of yourself for what you think loch needs from you. that you’re hoping to find proof that it’s his uncle stealing so you can bring him down for loch.
I almost text back that that’s not what I’m doing. Or that nothing happened, everything’s great, don’t worry, tomorrow in Belfast will be fun, all of us together.
I started writing again. Just a little. But I’m going to do more.
COAL
HELL YES KRIS!!
that’s great dude
be careful. if you wanna come home now, we’ve got enough to work with. you don’t have to stay.
i don’t want you getting hurt
I know. I appreciate it. I’ll be careful.
I step into the library and… think.
I have no idea how to find proof that Malachy did this.Ifhe did this.
Do I need proof? If it is him, he has to suspect my real reason for being here. So maybe I lie?
When I see him at the Dublin parade in a few days, I can let him know that I have proof. That I found something while I was poking around the castle, and trap him into admitting that it was him. I’ll try to record it so I can have his documented confession. And if it isn’t him, then he’ll think I’m odd and pushy, no harm done.
Which would mean, then, that it is Loch stealing from us.
I could skip all this elaborate scheming and confront Loch instead.
These thoughts are a Ferris wheel. I need to know who is stealing from us—I could ask Loch—I don’twantto know if it’s him—I want it to be Malachy—I can’t investigate Malachy from here—I could ask Loch—and around we go.
An ache thuds across my forehead, burrows deep into my temples.
In another act of selfishness, I mentally table all this and go in search of Colm.
