So now? What do I want?
“I—I don’t know,” I say.
Iris hesitates. Watching me. Waiting.
“Youdeserve better, too,” she whispers. “I wish you’d know that.”
Discomfort builds, makes it difficult to speak. I don’t know what to do with the way she’s looking at me. Pity, but not; sorrow, but not.
I deserve better?
She canseeme, right? Sweats that smell like coffee and bags under my eyes? The guy who brought a full-fledged PR nightmare down on someone whose only crime—at that point—was not giving up a study room?
“When do you need to get back to Easter?” I ask.
“A few hours, latest. Why?”
What the hell. “Stay for lunch? I miss Renee’s cooking, and I know you do, too.”
“Yes!” Coal springs away from his desk. “Stay. You have to stay. Kris asked, so the awkwardness is over.”
Iris shakes her head in amusement. “Subtle, your brother is not.”
“It’s one of his many charms.” I push my hair back, tugging at the strands. “But—lunch?”
She considers. “Only if you promise to start texting me again.There have been like two dozen insane made-up words my professors have tried to pass off as English. I kept a list.”
I crack a smile. “I wanted to figure out a way to send you a photo of that guy. Before I tinseled him.”
Iris arches one eyebrow. “Mm, he is dreamy. Those cheekbones.”
“Right?” My eyes pop wide and I fumble. “I mean, no, not the dreamy bit. He opened his mouth, and any dreaminess went full nightmare.”
Iris’s arched eyebrow sharpens. “Uh-huh. Sure it did.”
She’s teasing about me finding another person attractive. Which isn’t something weeverdid before, so the fact that we can now…
Maybe things between us will be okay.
And not just okay, but better.
Woah there, let’s not get ahead of ourselves with that kind of positivity. I might sprain something.
“And this is why I didn’t send you his picture for… what’s the media of the moment?”
“You’ll laugh.”
“Probably.”
“Mosaic.”
“That’s not a bad—”
“Using multicolored googly eyes.”
I do laugh. Enough that Coal and Hex and even Wren shoot identical surprised looks at me.
Am I that much of a sad sack anymore?
