“But people could get hurt.”
He turns to me. Excitement had been building in him, but it pauses now. “Hurt how?”
“You’d force other conjurers to take on the energetic responsibility of your spell.”
“Of course not. They’d bewilling. It wouldn’t be through force.”
“For now.”
Thio sets the marker in the tray and faces me fully. “We’d work it into the rune that there’d have to be reception on both ends. It wouldn’t be one conjurer doing the spell; we’d make sure it’s fair.”
I’m so sleep-deprived. Stretched thin over the past few weeks. I’ve beenfeelingmore than I ever have before, too. Where I usually tamp that shit down, I’ve been swimming in nonstop waves of happiness. I let those waves carry me, wash me out to sea until I’m here, so far from shore, shaking my head.
Thio grabs my wrist. “Sebastian. Talk to me.”
“This was for you,” I say to the whiteboard. “Not—not something we’d release. It’s just for you.”
His head cocks until I look at him, and his confusion is clear.“Why? Why wouldn’t we release this? Not with our project, I get that, it’s too late; but after. Your idea would work. If we can distribute the energetic demands of a conjuration spell, we—”
“Do you think it’d stay willing?” I twist my arm to my chest. He doesn’t let go of my wrist, so we’re pulled closer, his eyes locking on mine. “Do you honestly think if we released this, even in theory, that people like your family wouldn’t figure out a way for a conjurer to select people at random to serve as their energy drains?”
Thio’s face collapses in horror. He glances at the board.
“Shit.Shit.” He releases me to rub a hand roughly over his face. “You’re right. It’s—that’s what they’d do.”
My throat swells. “I wanted to give you some piece of what your mom was working on. Some result for her, for you. But any bit of this is too risky, isn’t it? Gods, even trying to do it to keep conjurerssafe,and—”
“And I immediately figured out a way to make it dangerous,” Thio whispers.
He’s staring at the board. At the runes that would, in theory, let a conjurer dissipate energy to other conjurers. It’s the barest dregs of an idea, not fleshed out at all, but it’s a seed.
And Thio’s staring at it, his eyes tearing, and my heart cracks.
This isn’t what I’d meant to do with—fuck.
“Thio—”
“Do you know what Arasne said to me this morning?” he asks, a brush of sound.
I don’t. Of course I don’t. He never tells me what she talks to him about beyond assurances that he’s not spilling our project’s secrets; and he never lets me come to those meetings with him. I’ve offered.
He rubs at his cheek, scrubbing away emotion, so when his eyes meet mine, he’s almost composed.Almost. “She said the same shit she’s been saying for too long. That the reason my mom had her accident”—Thio’s breath is harsh—“and the reason she had so many failures in her career was because she isn’t a real Tourael. And if I leave, I’ll end up just like her. I’ll waste away in obscurity because I have nothing substantial to contribute to this world.”
His words, his posture, the empty, shell-like look in his eyes—it’s agonizing, and I move toward him, arms lifting.
Only I stop.
Because—I’ve heard those words before. Why do I know them?
Thio keeps on, facing the board again, his eyes burning with ire, and passion, andpain.
“This could work,” he says, gesturing at the runes. “I’ve read my mom’s research. I’ve readallthe research my family did on this topic. And this idea? They never camecloseto anything like this.” His jaw bulges by his ears, cheeks reddening. “For all their resources, for all their finely honed methodologies, for all theirtorture,they couldn’t come up with this solution. But we did. We’re better than them.”
“I know that,” I whisper. Then, louder, “I know we’re better than them.”
He only half hears me. “We could… we could buffer it with protective spells. We could lock in the need for the spell to be willing, for it to work from two ends, not just one.”
My lungs swell, refusing oxygen. “We’re not releasing this idea. This isn’t why I worked on it. I did itfor you. To pay homage to your mom. Isn’t it enough to know we have this theory? Why do you need to release it, especially if you know it’s dangerous?”
