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“You’re done messing up.” His palm lifted my cheek until I was facing him. Through the blur of tears, and the dim light from the window, I only caught the outline of his face looming over me. His thumb traced over, rubbing a tear into my skin. “We all make mistakes.” He sighed, and dropped his head, pressing his lips to my cheek below my eye again, kissing away the tears. He whispered against my skin, his lips tracing. “I’m sorry I yelled at you at the party. And I’m sorry I accused you of going after Coaltar for his money. I was wrong about you.”
I started to shake my head. “Brandon...”
“Shh,” he breathed. “Kayli.” He kissed my cheek, trailing across to my ear. I let him, because I couldn’t find the willpower to push him away. Part of me didn’t want to. I hadn’t had a boyfriend to kiss in a couple of years. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed the feeling of being held. Maybe that was why it felt strange to suddenly be in a group of guys like this. It reminded me of what I’d been pushing away for years.
My fingers rubbed at the nape of his neck, and up through the short strands of his hair. He was comforting me, and I wanted to feel this. I wanted his touch and those kisses to eclipse the panic in my heart. I wanted to hide away in his arms.
“Maybe when this is over we’ll get you an apartment in this building. Or stay with us. I don’t care. Maybe Corey and I will get a three bedroom and...” he paused. His hand at my back drifted up, until both his palms cupped my cheeks. “Or maybe if you don’t hate me too much, you can stay with me.”
“Brandon?”
“I can’t stand to think of you crying alone in your bedroom when a police car goes by. You may as well stay here. You’ll save me the walk.”
My heart stilled. He was talking crazy and I wanted to tell him so. Too close!
I didn’t have the strength. I didn’t really want to. My usual resistance had faded somewhere amid his promises. “You wouldn’t want me,” I said as my only defense. No one did.
He turned slightly, the light from the window catching in his eyes as he zeroed in on my face. He dipped his head, and for a moment I thought he was going to kiss my cheek again.
His lips brushed against mine, sending the lightest of fluttering butterflies to sweep down into my chest. He was testing to see if I was willing.
I sucked in a breath, parting my lips to do so. This caused me to glide my lips back against his. Maybe I was teasing him, testing. Are you sure?
His mouth crushed down on mine like he’d been waiting for forever. His lips parted and he kissed me deeply.
I responded weakly at first, but the more he kissed me, the more of him I needed. My hands opened up behind his head, holding him against my face.
He released my cheeks, slipping his hands around my waist. His fingers rubbed against my sides and then massaged my back, holding me to him until my stomach pressed to his.
I tilted my head, opening my mouth more. Letting him in.
His jaw loosened as he deepened the kiss. He dove in, and my lower lips glided in between his teeth. He grazed at it, suckled gently. He slowed, deliberate, giving of himself with every movement of his lips.
His hands tightened at my hips, and he lifted me. His kiss softened and he moved me slowly until I was on my side next to him. He lifted an arm, pillowing my head, tucking his elbow around the back, drawing me in again. He kissed my nose, my cheeks, my eyelids. When his lips found mine again, he tasted like the salt of the last of my tears.
My hands slid to his chest, finding it easier now to press my palms against it. My fingers traced his collarbone, and felt the toned muscles in his strong chest. I’d admired it before, and now touching it made the butterflies in my chest start flipping around.
His other hand held onto my hip, collecting the material of the shirt I wore into his fist. He loosened his grip and then tightened again.
Slowly, as if making sure I was okay with it, his fingers moved up, under the shirt. He kept his fingertips against my skin, tracing until he was at my ribs. He followed my ribcage, rubbing his fingers until he met my spine. His palm settled at my mid-back and drew me closer.
In that moment I understood him. Whatever pain he’d experienced, he used it to fuel the passion he expressed in those eyes. Passion from pain.
I broke the kiss, breathless, stunned, and a confused mess. There were things I wanted to say, questions I wanted to ask him. My mouth couldn’t form words.
What did this mean? What were we doing?
He looked back at me in the darkness. He didn’t have the answered.
His fingers massaged in small circles against my spine. His lips traced along my forehead. He nestled into me.
I fell asleep with the questions on my lips, and my cheek pressed to his chest.
?????
I woke up with Brandon’s arms still wrapped around me. My back was pressed into his chest as he spooned me. Sunlight was peeking around the closed blinds. I studied the light, the surfboard against the wall, the bareness of his bedroom.
What in the world was I doing? How different my world had become in a few short days. Part of me was nervous. Would Brandon have second thoughts about what happened last night? I didn’t know what to do with this. Brandon was attractive, and he’d been sweet last night, but I still hardly knew him. He made promises, but were those just to make me feel better? I couldn’t ask to stay with him, even though I was here now.
With Brandon pressed to my back, with a hand up my shirt and his palm against my stomach and his other arm under my head, my senses were overwhelmed. Doubt crept in with the light from the window. If he was going to disappoint me, I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to give him a chance.
I started to get up, to pull away.
The hand at my stomach tightened, pulling me in until I was pressed against his chest.
“Ugh,” I said.
A muffled reply came from behind me, and he dipped his nose into my neck. “Don’t go yet.”
The tug of a heartstring resounded inside my chest. I couldn’t resist.
I turned over, facing him. His arm went around my neck, catching my shoulder, pulling me in closer. He kissed my forehead, his lips
lingering as his other palm rested on my exposed side.
I couldn’t take much more of this. If he held on, I’d start to fall, and my heart couldn’t bear it. Not now. I was too much of a mess for anyone to love. “Brandon.”
“Hm?”
“I need to talk to Marc.” If I had to stay with the guys, I needed to figure out for how long, or push them into figuring this out faster. Get this problem with Coaltar out of the way. I couldn’t move on with my life without it.
“Why?”
“If I need to stay here, I need to talk to him.”
He sighed. “I’ll take you to him.”
UGLY ANGER
I wanted to take a shower, but Brandon was up and dressed quickly, with such a determined look on his face that I didn’t dare take any more time than necessary.
My book bags were sitting on the couch. Raven must have come in during the night sometime, or Axel, or someone else. Maybe Corey brought them over.
At that thought, I checked his bedroom, but his light was off and the room was still.
“Where’d he go?” I asked Brandon.
Brandon fished out his keys and found his wallet sitting on the coffee table. “He’s probably at the job site.”
“Job site?”
“Where we’re going now.”
I hurried to the bathroom to put on a pair of shorts and a black T-shirt from my bag. I swiped on deodorant and brushed my hair. When I looked in the mirror, I cringed, and dug out some of the makeup samples I had. I dabbed on some concealer to mask the deep shadows under my eyes. I didn’t want to look like a complete mess. I added some mascara quickly. When I looked like I was at least among the living, I ran back out again.
Brandon waited by the door. We got into his SUV.
I dazed out a bit when we got onto the Interstate. My thoughts were muddled with what I was going to talk to Marc about and trying to not think about Brandon.
Brandon granted me the grace of being quiet the whole way. By the time I was paying attention to where we were going, he’d pulled off of I-26 and I had no clue where we were, but the chemical smell in the air and the craters in the road made me think we were in North Charleston.
