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No. I’d kiss him and then kill him.
Axel never told me off once about the biting. He offered his arm to my mouth, and allowed me, sometimes urging me, to make dents.
He ground his own teeth. I wondered if he needed something to bite, too.
I couldn’t help it. I was too tired to express myself. Too tired to fight. Raven’s words repeated in my brain, over and over.
A confession can defeat evidence.
Was he going to make Sam confess? I had an hour to mull it over before we got to shore.
One by one, we climbed out of the life raft onto a beach.
It was only then I realized I’d lost the phone. Colt’s phone. Had I dropped it?
Raven had helped me over the edge; could he have taken it from me in our panicked fleeing?
Raven…picked my pocket?
Probably good he did. It would have gotten wet, I had already forgotten about it. It would have been evidence, to have something that belonged to Colt in our possession.
We traveled on foot in the dark for miles until we found a road, which eventually led to a gas station with a phone.
Axel put in the call to the Academy, leaving me in Marc’s care, but we could hear the conversation: Raven was in trouble. There had been a murder. People had been framed. Do what you can.
That was all he could ask for.
After that, we waited, sitting on the curb at the gas station. I leaned against Marc’s chest, his arm around my shoulders, and dozed off.
Later, no way to tell how much later, I was shaken awake and put into a town car, driven by someone I didn’t know.
I slept during the ride, but awoke when we arrived at a familiar hospital.
“I don’t need this,” I told Axel, again next to me.
“You do,” he said. “Blake does, too.”
I suddenly remembered Blake had been unconscious. I was fighting for a few memories now. “Is he awake?”
“Yes, he’s in the other car, but we need to find out what they gave him. Whatever it was, it was very strong and we need to make sure it clears his system and won’t leave lasting damage.”
After that, my world became a blur of white coats and a million questions. I was prodded, examined, X-rayed, and scanned.
Hours later, I was in a hospital bed, in a dazed state, not really asleep, not really awake. My brain was too wired, going over everything again and again even though I was beyond exhausted.
My room had two beds, but I was the only real patient. Corey had crashed in the other bed while Brandon and Marc were on a small sofa against the wall. Axel sat in a chair next to my bed, upright.
He asked me constantly if I needed anything.
What I needed, he couldn’t give. A second chance. A do-over.
I should have said no. Right from the start, I had known we couldn’t do what Ethan wanted. I should have convinced Blake.
Kevin came by and was polite when he asked me if I was okay, but I got the feeling he wasn’t happy with me. He barely looked at me and then said he had to go.
Couldn’t blame him.
I wondered why the rest stayed nearby, but I supposed here was as good as anywhere to wait for news about me or Blake. Or Raven.
They told me Blake had been given a bunch of tests and then taken to an observation room overnight.
I stared at the ceiling, imagining pictures in the speckles of the ceiling tiles.
Sometime during the night, Dr. Roberts came in. I remembered him, and was oddly comforted seeing his wrinkled face with his white hair and glasses. He was followed by a younger-looking doctor, perhaps too young to be much more than an intern? But he had a white coat. Name tag: Dr. Green.
“Awake?” Dr. Roberts asked me with a smile.
I sat up and attempted to smile, but it was hollow. “Yup.”
Corey sat up in the bed next to mine, yawning and pushing a palm toward his face. Marc and Brandon scooted close to the edge of their seats.
Axel stood by my bed, reaching for my hand. “Is something wrong?”
“Why would you think something was wrong?” Dr. Green asked.
“It doesn’t take two doctors to tell us she’s got something minor,” Axel said. He let my hand go and crossed his arms over his chest. “What is this?”
Dr. Roberts frowned and motioned to me. “She’s got the right to kick you all out and find out for herself.” He turned his attention to me. “We do have something important to tell you. It’s up to you. Do you want them here?”
I shrugged and then nodded. I assumed I had cancer and would die in a few months. I pictured my mother, how she hadn’t told us kids for a long time. I had been so angry with her for it. I didn’t want to keep whatever this was a secret. “Sure,” I said. “Let them stay.”
Dr. Roberts looked at Dr. Green, and Dr. Green passed him a file, saying, “You heard her.”
I reached out and Axel’s hand landed in mine.
Dr. Roberts adjusted his glasses and read from the file. “Your brain got rattled around a bit but looks fine. We compared things from the scans we managed to get sent to us from the ship. You should be okay, if you rest.”
“Her memory was pretty bad on the ship,” Axel said.
“That may go away with time,” Dr. Roberts said. “Or with practice and some therapy. But she might still have some memory issues. She might also develop other symptoms. We’ll keep as close an eye on it as we can, but the worst will be over if you just rest.”
“But?” I asked. I felt there was more. He hadn’t come in to tell me I’d be fine.
He kept his gaze on the file he held. His other hand slipped into the pocket of his white coat. His face was grim. “Looks like the poison did more damage to your reproductive system than we caught before. Or maybe the stress agitated it. We’ll need to put you under observation.” He took off his glasses, looking at me. “We might need to make a decision sometime soon. Your uterus is bleeding, but it is excessive. We need to find out why, and quickly.”
That didn’t seem like a life-or-death thing. I scrunched my eyebrows. “Are we talking surgery?”
“Maybe. If it isn’t healing up, there might be something really wrong, and if it’s really bad, we may need to remove it just so you don’t bleed to death.”
My mouth opened. I stared at him blankly. I’d heard him, but it seemed like he was talking to someone else, not me. I didn’t feel sick. I didn’t feel so broken that I needed body parts removed. This was just a period. He had to be mistaken.
“What…?” I mumbled. I couldn’t get out the words. I looked up at Axel.
He faced me, eyes dark, lips tight.
I wordlessly told him I wasn’t sure what to say, or to think.
He squeezed my hand, turned to the doctor and spoke. “Does this mean her…reproductive system is completely broken? She can’t have kids in the future?”
It was a question that was burning in my brain. He had said it out loud, and I was still trying to comprehend the meaning.
“We don’t know,” Dr. Roberts said and then turned to me. “Your uterus might be okay if we can find a way to heal it. If it’s just your eggs coming down the pipe at a quick rate, we can just slow it down. Having eggs come out quickly sometimes happens in women, but usually not so quickly, so repeatedly like this. We need time to observe, to take samples of your eggs, and see if they are damaged. It might be your body is just rejecting them for some unknown reason. We might be able to save a few good ones for you, and set them aside for later, just in case.”
I hardly ever thought of the future, at least not far enough ahead for kids. Still, it had always been on the horizon. Maybe I wouldn’t want them, but that was different from not being able to have them.
I stared at my feet under the blanket. I wasn’t dead or dying, but I was numb, unsure how to feel about this yet. Since there were questions hanging in the air, it was as if I were simply in limbo.
“We?
?ll need to do a few more tests,” Dr. Green said. “But you should be prepared in case we have to take you into surgery quickly. We will need to keep you here, in case other organs were affected.”
I looked over at the guys. Axel was glaring at the doctors. Corey looked at his knees. Marc pressed his palms to his eyes, frowning.
Brandon was looking right at me, and then caught my attention. Sadness. Anger. Confusion. Frustration.
I was a mirror, reflecting, going through those same emotions.
Dr. Roberts nodded and passed Dr. Green the file. “If you don’t mind, Doctor, I need to talk with them alone. I may need to stay on to counsel. We can wait until the morning to start more testing.”
Dr. Green looked at me sympathetically, and then at the others before he left.
Once the door closed, Dr. Roberts approached the bed. “I know this isn’t a good time, but I need to talk to everyone about what happened on that ship.”
“Did something happen?” Axel asked. “Is there any word about what’s going on over there?”
Dr. Roberts adjusted his glasses. “Seems like the ship is headed back to shore. A murder has been reported. The governor’s son.”
The room fell silent.
“Anything else?” Axel asked.
Dr. Roberts’s face darkened. It was obvious we had been aware and unsurprised by the news. He was displeased. “A few of ours are still on board. Someone got into a fight, got thrown into the brig. Word from our team is, there was a mutiny.”
“Who’s in the brig?” Axel asked.
“Someone named Sam,” he said.
I let out a breath and then realized the only one who could have done all this was Raven. I looked at the others, realizing while we had escaped, Raven would be on board when the ship got to port, and would be involved in any investigation.
