My sexuality wasn’t a secret. I came out to my family my senior year of college. They didn’t say much but agreed to ignore the whole thing. Anytime new gossip popped up, it made its way back to my dad. Then we would have thewhy can’t you move past this phase of your lifetalk before he tries to convince me I need to meet the right woman.
Such a woman does not exist.
Enough bullshitting. I take a deep breath and get out of my car, following the few folks in the parking lot into the bar. I glance around at the wooden booths against the walls. A few have people in them, clearly regulars making themselvescomfortable. The bar only has a few people spread across the stools, so I pick one on the far side, away from other patrons. I might as well ease my way into the situation.
The bartender nods to let me know he sees me. While I wait to order, I look around the room at the various pride flags decorating the walls. A smile spreads over my face, knowing I don’t have to worry about being seen here. Not just the bar but Cardinal Falls in general.
I shift on my stool to take in the place and the people. It’s still early, but a handful of tall, lean guys crowd around one of the standing tables. I’m not sure I have a type, but I love being with a guy taller than me. Not that it’s hard to find with my whole five-feet-eight inches. I didn’t come here to hook up, but I wouldn’t say no to a bit of fun. Though, taking someone to my place would be mildly embarrassing at this point, considering the sum of furniture in my apartment consists of a bed, coffee table, and an old recliner the previous tenants left behind.
When the bartender comes over, I order a gin and tonic and request a food menu. The timing of the new job could have been better. When I applied and accepted the job, moving my dad out of our family home and into an assisted living place was not on my radar. Of course, as soon as I put in my two-week notice at my last job and started packing up my life, he called me and my sister and asked us to help pack up his life.
I’m happy to help. I’m not so happy to spend my first month here driving a thousand miles each weekend. I use that as an excuse for why I’d done almost zero grocery shopping and either picked up something on the way home or ordered take-out every night. I peek at the menu and sigh. One more burger won’t kill me.
Like everything else, real furniture is on the list of things I still need to get around to. I want a fresh start here, even if it means leaving much of my old life behind. I’m determinedto make it work. Not the bar tonight, but a new life here. I’ve dreamed about it for so long, but I worry now that I’m here, I’m going to fuck it up. I’m excellent at sabotaging my own life. This time, though, I’m all in. Starting with my first night at a gay bar in three years.
Chapter Two
NATHAN
“Sorry, sorry, sorry,”I say as I slide into the booth next to Tyler. “I got cornered and pulled into a meeting right as I was about to walk out the door.” Aaron and Matthias are across the table from us. I’m still sweaty from practically sprinting here, but at least I made it before they finished their first round.
“Let me guess, Victoria?” I nod as Aaron downs the last of his beer. “Don’t worry about it. We know things have been rough at your office lately.” Rough is an understatement. I couldn’t remember the last time I left the office on time. “Plus, you know the rules. If you’re late, you buy a round.” If I recall correctly, that rule was specifically implemented because Aaron kept showing up late.
“Done.” I start to slide out to head up to the bar, but Tyler catches my arm.
“The waitress will be back around in a couple of minutes. You can give her your food order, as well. I assume you are starving.” As if on cue, my stomach growls. Tyler knows me too well. All I’d had today was the granola bar I ate on the drive to the office.
“I suppose it’s a waste of energy to explain why you need to take better care of yourself?” Matthias puts his elbows on the table and cradles his head. He’s always been the mother hen of the group, checking in and ensuring the rest of us take care of ourselves. It can get overbearing, but I remind myself of all the times he’s brought chicken soup over when I was sick or joined me for movie marathons post-breakup.
“Yes, it’s a waste of time.” Sure, I forget lunch occasionally, but I still eat reasonably well and make it to the gym several times a week. That’s doing pretty damn good.
“You need someone to help take care of you.” I snort. We’ve had this discussion at least a hundred times. He says the same thing to all of us.
“And where do you think I’ll find someone like that? If I don’t have time to eat lunch, I don’t have time to find this magical boyfriend.”
“No one says you need to find a boyfriend, but going on a few dates wouldn’t hurt. Be a little more social.” Aaron puts a hand on Matthias’s shoulder. “You used to go out more often. The three of us can’t be the only socializing you do.”
“First, I’m not twenty-five anymore. I don’t have the time or energy to spend at clubs or swiping on apps. Second, I don’t need much social interaction. I prefer having time to myself.” I’m very happy to spend my evenings withNetflix. Thank you very much. How did my lack of a social life become the focus of tonight’s conversation anyway?
Every couple of months, one of them, usually Matthias, starts in on thelet’s get Nathan out of the house morediscussion. After my last terrible breakup, I told them I needed a little time to work out what I wanted. They let it go for a while, but after two years of solitude, the discussion came back to life. The three of them teaming up on me is new, however.
“I’ll meet someone when I’m ready.”
Tyler pulls one knee up to his chest in the booth and turns to face me. “For that plan to work, you have to go places and meet people.”
“I go places.”
“Really?” He raises an eyebrow at me. “When was the last time you went out?” I open my mouth to answer, but he holds a hand up to stop me. “Weekly friend night doesn’t count.”Well, fuck.“My point exactly.”
“Wait, I went to that big holiday party a few months ago.” I could play this game.
“That was your office Christmas party.” Aaron and Matthias nod their agreement with Tyler’s statement. Spending an evening with a bunch of drunken coworkers should count as double.
“I’m not sure that waitress is coming back. I need a beer if you’re going to keep up the teasing.” I snatch the empty pitcher from the table and head toward the bar. With any luck, they’ll move on to an entirely different topic by the time I return.
I wave at Ethan, the bartender, as I approach. He puts up two fingers, and I nod. I lean against the wooden bar and enjoy a few moments of quiet. Thursday’s crowd stays small, but it’s picked up a bit since I walked in. I recognize many people as regulars, but there’s one guy by himself at the end. I’m not sure I’ve seen him here before. I swear he looks like my best friend from high school. I’ve hallucinated him in enough crowded places to know he isn’t real.
The guy lifts his gaze from his drink and lands on me. His face lights up with recognition when he locks eyes with me. He hops off his stool and starts toward me.
