“I want to stick with our current theme of old childhood movies, so tonight is3 Ninjas.”
“I haven’t thought about that movie in so long. I don’t even remember what happens in it.”
I remember watching it together when it first hit VHS. God, we are getting old. “I don’t either, so it’ll be like seeing it for the first time.”
“I’m pretty sure the first time I saw it was with you at a sleepover. I vaguely remember sleeping bags around the living room floor while we tried to recreate the karate moves.”
“That sounds like us. We did that for a lot of those movies. We were terrible at it, too.” I say, shaking my head.
“Nah, we were awesome.”
“We’re still pretty awesome.”
At least we were already off to a better start than the last time.
NATHAN
The factthat Colt is trying to kill me is not helping me. That’s the only reasonable explanation for why he makes all those noises over the food. “This is incredible,” he says before he moans over another bite. My erection hasn’t gone all the way down since we made out earlier, but now it’s back with a vengeance. I press my palm against my dick to relieve a little pressure. “What?”
I realize I’m staring at him, mouth partly open. “You sound like you’re having an orgasm over there.”
“It’s really good,” he says sheepishly.
“I’m not complaining. I’d just like to be the one making you make those noises.”
He pushes his bowl away from him. “I’m full.”
I push it back a little bit. “Eat your food. We’ll have plenty of time for that later.”
“Fine.” We eat in silence for a few minutes. I don’t know how to bring anything else up.
I clear my throat and summon some courage. “Maybe we should talk about a couple of things? You know, about us.”
“Good idea. Do you want to talk while we eat or after?”
“While we eat is good.” I don’t want this to get in the way of the more fun part of the evening. Cuddling up on the couch and watching a movie together fills me with warmth. How often have we watched something, and I yearned to curl up against him? Tonight, I might be able to do it. I just had to get through this shitty part first, though. Why is talking so hard?
“I don’t know where to start,” I admit. “I haven’t had this kind of big conversation before.” Usually, things evolve naturally throughout those early dates. It’s weird to be in a relationship that already has a deep emotional connection but none of the other stuff.
“Why don’t you start with whatever’s at the top of your mind, and we can go from there?” He reaches over and squeezes myhand. “Whatever you want to say is fine. You aren’t going to scare me off.” Something in his earnest expression made me believe him.
“Okay, well, what is this? Are we friends with benefits? Dating?” He doesn’t answer right away, so I continue. “I don’t think I can do casual. I’ve never been good at it, and I already have feelings for you.” I need him to say something and stop me from spilling my guts all over the counter.
“Good, because I have no interest in something casual with you. I’m all in on this. I don’t want to share you with anyone else, either. I want us to be exclusive.”
That might be the hottest thing a man has ever said to me. “Okay. Good.”
“Good.” We ate in silence for a few minutes. I try to take in the situation. It’s weird to be playing out a fantasy I gave up on years ago. Sure, it popped up occasionally, but once I saw him at The Flaming Unicorn, it roared back with a vengeance.
Still, I didn’t trust this feeling. My heart was a big fat liar that led me astray a lot. The first time I was with Colt was in high school. Then, my college boyfriend. I had a few more over the years until I decided my heart should be in a permanent time out. What made this time any different?
I need to say something, and, for some reason, what pops into my mind is, “I’m negative. I got tested after my last boyfriend, and I haven’t been with anyone since. I can find the results on my phone or go again if it makes you feel better.”
“I trust you. I’m negative, too. They tested me at my physical when I found a new doctor here.” Well, at least most of the weird stuff is out of the way. I feel like there’s so much more I want to say right now, but the right words won’t come to me. I eat a few more bites and decide this is one thing that needs to be worked out as we go along. No magic conversation will convince me this is real. And that sucks.
Chapter Seventeen
COLT
