Now he’s sitting here, waiting for a response from me, and there’s so much to say; so much I want to tell him. We need to clarify before we go any further. “I want you, too, Firecracker. But I want to know what you see happening.”
“Like a play-by-play?” he asks with a squeak.
“No.” I manage to bite back my laughter, but only just. “Is this a one-night thing for you?” He bites his lower lip, and I take the opportunity to pull the poor, worried skin from between his teeth. “There’s no wrong answer here, but I need to know what you’re thinking.”
“Ideally?” I nod. The confident man who leaped into my lap and took charge has disappeared, leaving behind insecurities. I run my hands over the sides of his abdomen, hoping it clarifies my interest. “More than one night?”
Thank fuck. As much as I want to see him spread naked on my bed, I’m not a casual guy, not when it comes to partners. Once I get him, letting him go would break my heart. I can barely watch him leave my home at the end of the night when he’s been here studying. Watching him crawl out from beneath my sheets, with no intention of coming back, would destroy me. I can see his nerves coming to the surface, so I lean in, distracting him with another kiss. He opens beautifully for me, letting me take as much as I want from him, but without being passive. It’s clear he’s kissing me back but also letting me lead. While I doubt he’d ever be truly submissive, it’s nice to see that he’s willing to let me be incharge.
When I come up for air again, Frank’s much more relaxed, forehead pressed against my shoulder as he pants. “We’ve got a lot to talk about, Firecracker.” I wish we didn’t, but until we do, I’m not willing to go further than kissing. It’s only fair to both of us that we’re clear on what a relationship means. I’ve been down this road too often and had my heart shattered too many times to do it any other way.
“I’m negative and on PrEP,” he says. “I got tested a few months ago for my physical, and I haven’t been with anyone since.”
“That’s good to know, Frank. I’m negative, too, but there’s more we need to discuss.” He huffs like I’m the most frustrating man on Earth. I might be right now. To both of us. My cock would much rather we give up the discussion and move straight to the bedroom. “I want you to be sure before we go further. It’s important to me.”
“I’ve been trying to figure out how to make a move on you for seven weeks. I’m not going to get any surer than I am right now.”
“Seven weeks?” That’s how long it’s been since they started on my backyard.
“Since you called me a thief.”
I groan, maybe a little loudly. “You’re killing me.” We could’ve been doing this the whole time?Fuck. “Still, I want to talk about some things, and, to do that, we need clear heads.” Some sleep and a little less alcohol on board. And maybe a cold shower. Or three.
He stands up, awkwardly, sliding off my lap. “It’s okay if you don’t want this. I can head out. I didn’t drink that much.”
Absolutely not. “That’s not what I’m saying at all.” He grumbles something I can’t quite hear. “Clear communication is important to me and the most important part ofbuilding a relationship. Besides that, I’m taking you on a real date before we sleep together.” I’d put a higher number on that, but something tells me we won’t make it that long.
“You want a relationship with me?” He’s back to biting that bottom lip again. This time, as soon as I give him a stern look, he releases it. Good, we’re making progress.
“I’d like to try that out, but only if you want to.”
“Yes, please.” He’s practically vibrating out of his skin next to me. “Um, what else do we need to talk about?”
It’s not fair to force him to spend time running through various situations in his mind. “I can be a bit… controlling in my relationships.”
“Is that cause of the whole Daddy thing?” I freeze at Frank’s question. Here I thought I’d done a pretty good job of dialing things back and keeping my secrets.
“What do you know about that?” I ask, keeping my voice soft.
“I heard you talking to Sam.” He shrugs. I know exactly what conversation he’s talking about, but I hadn’t known he was close enough to hear.
“And? How do you feel about that?” Frank’s face usually gave away his emotions, making him easy to read. Right now, I couldn’t guess his thoughts. People had a lot of opinions on those types of relationships. The only one I care about right now is the one from Frank.
“I, uh, did some research.” I can’t help but smirk at the way his cheeks redden as he admits it. My guess is a good portion of that‘research’involved porn. “I’ve never been in one before, but I’d like to try.” His lip makes its way back into his mouth. This time, I let it be, wanting to give him a moment to pull his thoughts together. “I’m not sure what you get out of it.”
“That’s a good question. I like the caregiveraspect of it. I like making sure that the people I’m with are taken care of… that their needs are met. With that comes a certain amount of control. If I’m going to make sure someone’s—your—needs are met, then I need to make rules for you to follow. Ones that we agree on together.” Something tells me rules are going to be a sticking point for him.
“So, what exactly would you want control over?”
“Well, that’s something the two of us would need to discuss more as we get to know each other. But, as an example, I might insist that you make sure you have water to drink throughout the day to keep you hydrated.” It’s a low bar, but it seems like a good starting point for this conversation.
“You already do that.”
And I’d been made. So I might have been Daddying him this whole time. I count it as a win that he didn’t notice until now. “You’re right, I do. I’d insist on it even more if we continue. Not because I think you aren’t capable, but because it’s important to me that you’re safe. The same thing applies to food. You can’t do physical labor all day if you aren’t getting enough calories. I’d insist on a decent breakfast and lunch, with snacks as well.”
He opens his mouth, then seems to swallow whatever he was going to say. “I try, but getting up early enough and remembering to bring things is hard.” Frank’s been working hard at it, making to-do lists in his notebooks, but I can tell how much he still struggles.
“I know. That’s part of my role. Helping you come up with a system that works and allows you to follow the rules. I would never ask something of you that I didn’t think you could do. It’s a partnership between us.” He fiddles with an imaginary piece of lint on his pants. “Frank.” I wait until he looks up at me. “Can you come over here?” It might be a bitof a risk, but I think he’ll handle the conversation better if we’re touching.
