Okay,thatI don’t believe. I know how close their group is. “But, they’re like your family.”
“Very true.” He stops to ponder his words. “But the same is true for my family. They’re entitled to their opinions, but I make my own decisions. They’ve never been anything but respectful of choices that I made, as long as they weren’t dangerous.” Matthias wraps his arms all the way around me, bringing me closer. This little bubble that he keeps us in is one of my favorite places. For a brief moment, the world is only the two of us. No work or school, no daunting meetings. No worries about what I’m going to do at the end of January.
I can’t think about that right now. One big scary thing at a time, and today that thing is meeting Matthias’s friends. I wish we were doing it here. At least then I could hide away in his bedroom for a few minutes. Instead, we’re going to Aaron’s house. That means the best I can manage is about two minutes in the bathroom.
“I can hear you thinking.”
“Just trying to figure out how long I can disappear to the bathroom before it gets weird.”
“Frank, I want you to listen to me for a minute.” Shit. HeFrankedme. “You’re my first priority today. If you need reassurance, a break, or even want to leave, you can tell me.”
My guffaw over that earns me the sternest look I’ve ever seen on his face. “I’m serious. They won’t mind at all if I need to push pause to take care of you.”
“But they don’t…” I want to say they don’t know about our dynamic, but I’m not actually sure.
“They know that we’re dating and that you’re important to me. The rest of it doesn’t matter.” He hums for a few seconds. “What if we come up with a safeword? Something you can say to me discreetly to let me know that you want to step away. Then you can let me make the excuses.”
I’m pretty sure I look like one of those cartoons where the character’s jaw hits the ground and their tongue unwinds. Of course, I know what a safeword is. I’ve seen plenty of that in porn, but I’ve never had one in real life. Never needed one. “Um… okay.”
“Why don’t you pick one? Something that won’t come up naturally in conversation.”
I rack my brain for an option. I swear I can’t remember a single word in the English language. “Octopus.”
“That’s perfect. I’ll never be upset with you forusing it. As I said, you’re the priority. If you need me, I’m yours. I will, however, be upset if you need it and don’t use it.”
I nod. I don’t think anyone has ever given me their full attention the way Matthias does. It’s too much and not enough all at once. I want to drag him into the bedroom and show him how much it means to me, but then we’ll bereallylate. As it is, we should’ve left five minutes ago.
“Firecracker, I want to hear you say you understand.”
“I understand. If I need you, I’ll say octopus.” I’m tempted to add the word Daddy to the end of it, but it still doesn’t feel natural on my tongue. I can only hope that Matthias hears my adoration in the silence between words.
“Good, then let’s get going.”
MATTHIAS
I grumble a bit as I enter Aaron’s condo. The place is an effortless blend of mid-century modern and industrial design, the latter only because it’s the building’s style. From the sound of things, most of the guys are already here, their voices carrying from the kitchen through the rest of the place. It’s a wonderful sound, one that’s been absent from my house for way too long. As soon as the backyard is complete, I’m having everyone over. Even if we sit around in the snow. This will likely be the last time we’re all together before Christmas. While I’m from here, the others often go home for the holidays.
“Nice of you to be almost on time for once.” There’s a bit of a twinkle in Aaron’s eye, as though he’s daring me to say anything.
“It’s my fault,” Frank speaks up, defending me. Sweet, but unnecessary.
“Oh, no. Matthias hasn’t been on time to anything that’s not at his house in years. If anything, you’re the reason he’s only ten minutes late.” At least a dozen different emotions pass over Frank’s face, and not for the first time, I wish I had a way to read his thoughts. “Come in and grab something to drink. Matthias knows where everything is.” Aaron ushers us in, putting a hand on Frank’s back to help pull him past the threshold.
A buzz in the air ushers us through the front area to the living room. Nathan and Colt are sitting on the couch, actively discussing something with Graham. The three of them are clearly engaged in a heated debate—likely over something work-related. Now that Graham and Nathan work together, getting the two of them to turn off work mode is a chore. Normally, Colt’s on my side, but they seem to have reeled him into their chaos. Which means Tyler’s somewhere enjoying a reprieve from all the chatter.
“Come on,” I say, pulling Frank toward the kitchen. It’s all a bit easier with a drink in hand. Tyler’s right where I expect him, standing around the breakfast bar, sipping a beer and talking softly with Oliver.
“You made it,” Tyler says. “Grab a drink. The good stuff is on the bottom shelf.” As the group beer snob, he takes it upon himself to ensure we always have a range of local options. “This must be Frank. I’m Tyler.” Tyler sticks out his hand to greet Frank.
I kick myself for not introducing them. “Sorry. Frank, that’s Tyler, and over there is Oliver.” Oliver gives a shy wave when I say his name, getting the same in return from Frank. “You hiding out in here?”
“Ugh. They won’t shut up about whatever the newcity thing is going on for non-profits. I’ve heard about it all week. I’m happy to take a break and let Graham nerd-out over it with Nathan and Colt.”
I grab Frank and I each a beer from the fridge. He gives me a questioning look when I hand it to him, so I nod. Given his concerns over socialization, I’m sure he’s concerned about adding alcohol to the equation. I have no doubts, though, and the drink might help loosen him up a bit.
Oliver clears his throat. “So, Frank, you work in landscaping?”
“Um, sort of. The company does a lot of yard renovations that include some landscaping, but not so much planting. We largely do home construction projects. Like remodels and finishing basements.”
