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Once we made it to the top, he pointed to a flat section of the roof that covered the back porch. He let go of me to slide down and when he got to the flat part, he held out his hand to me again as a support.
“Right here,” he whispered, his deep voice carrying to me.
I slid down and he caught me by the legs. He half picked me up and positioned me until I was standing beside to him. We were protected on one side by the edge of the fireplace. He pointed to the corner, and I sat with the fireplace bricks to my right and he sat next to me.
In front of us was the view of the yard and the woods behind it and the stars above our heads.
“Sit back,” he said.
My heart flipped in my chest. Why was he doing this with me? I pushed my hand to feel where the roof made a gentle incline. When I sat back, it was like resting on a hill.
He nestled himself next to me and so close that I could feel the warmth of his arm near mine. There in the dark, we looked up at the stars above our heads. While my heart was still pumping and my body shivered at how unexpected it was, North remained quiet. His silence kept me nervous but I didn’t know what to say to break this tension. I clamped my lips shut, gazing at the stars.
At some point I relaxed and the skin of my arm touched his. He didn’t move. I left my arm as still as possible. The touch was casual enough. I wasn’t directly reaching for him. It was just nice to feel him there in the dark and without feeling embarrassed or awkward.
My mind was totally not focused on the stars.
We about a half hour passed before North spoke. “What happened today, Sang?”
My eyebrows arched in surprise at his question. “What do you mean?”
He turned until he was on his right side, his head propped up with his hand. His dark eyes were in shadow. I caught the gentle outline of his thick eyebrows and his dark hair brushed back away from his face, all but one strand which hung over his forehead. “I want to know what happened the moment you got back to this house after you left today. You weren’t fully honest with us.”
How could he know? “I was--.”
“You were protecting us.” He used his free hand to grasp my arm, his fingers wrapping around my elbow. “I know what softening the truth sounds like. The others might be willing to buy it but I want to know.”
I twisted my lips. “It’s not really that bad.”
“I don’t want your opinion,” he said. “Tell me what happened. I’ll make the decision. Tell me exactly what your mother said.”
I pressed my fingers to my cheek, unsure of where to start. Eventually I did tell him. He listened quietly as I described what she said, my eventual defiant replies, and, with my lips trembling, I told him about kneeling in rice.
When I finished, I heard him swallowing. “Let me see,” he whispered.
“See what?”
He sat up, stuffing his hand into his pocket. Keys rattled. A light broke through the dark. He swung the flashlight toward me and the glow washed over my knees. His hand moved to my thigh as he pulled one of my legs closer. He bent over me, his eyes lit up from the LED bulb. His thumb traced over the crest of my knee. When he did it, I winced, feeling sensitive to both his touch and the pain.
“Baby,” he whispered. “How long were you there for?”
I pushed my finger to my lower lip, “I don’t remember. I wasn’t watching the clock.”
“Did it start right after you left Kota’s?”
“About, yes.”
He looked up from my knee, flicking the light off again and casting us into shadow. My eyes blacked out as they adjusted. His hand found mine against my mouth and he pulled it away to hold it. “And you called us right after?”
“Yes,” I said.
“That had to be over three hours,” he said. “At least.” He let go of me and rolled to lean back against the roof, putting his arms under his head to prop it up. “Trouble, trouble, trouble...” he said.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly.
“Stop apologizing for shit that isn’t your fault.”
“I’m the one that left the house.”
He turned onto his side again. He cupped my chin in his hand. “Listen to me, Sang,” he said. “Your mother has issues. I get that. She can’t keep you locked up like this. You’re not a bad girl. You’re not drinking or smoking or selling your body.” He let go of my face and brushed a strand of my hair away from my cheek. “I don’t like to think of you being holed up here because your mother can’t handle reality. You shouldn’t be on your knees or swallowing vinegar or any of that shit. It’s not healthy for you.”
“What can I do?” I asked. “She’s my mother.”
His face twisted and he looked pained. “I know she is,” he said quietly. “I’m surprised she lets you go to school. From what you’ve told me, it sounds like she’d try to home school both of you.”
“My dad won’t let her,” I said. “She used to say she would, but he insisted that we go to school like everyone else. He said if she did home school, the state would be way more interested in us. Besides, she was sick so much, he thought she couldn’t keep up. If she failed to report to the state, they’d come around and investigate. She didn’t like that.”
He sighed, let go and sat back again. We gazed back into the sky.
I tried to come up with something else to talk about. I was tired of my problems being the center of attention. “North? Are you and Luke going to start the diner with your uncle sometime soon?”
“We already purchased the property, so we better.”
“Is that what you want to do when you graduate? Work with your uncle?”
“No,” he said.
“What would you rather do?”
“Travel.”
“On your bike?”
“Or a better one. Or in a plane. Depends on where I’m going.”
“Where would you go?”
He turned his head toward me. “Where would you?”
I thought about it. “To the beach. A nice one with bright blue water and white sand.”
“We’re not far from the beach,” he said. “We’ll go one day.”
Butterflies did flips in my stomach. “With the guys?”
He paused and I wasn’t sure he was going to answer. “We’ll see.”
While we sat together in the dark, staring up at the stars, his musk mixed with the salt breeze that drifted from the east. I breathed in deeply, letting it fill my lungs. I fingered the grit of the tile below us. Stars twinkled and shifted across the sky.
North
knew exactly what I needed. Somehow, amid all the other things going on, he sought me out in the darkness. He knew I needed that escape. I needed to know that somewhere out there someone could come for me. I needed to know I wasn’t alone any more.
How he knew I needed it, or if that was what he was thinking, I don’t know. I felt better simply knowing he came for me. Someone out there cared enough about how I felt to comfort me. I could deal with my parents. I could deal with anything they wanted. If North, Kota and the others could be patient with me, I would find a way.
We were only out there a few more minutes before North insisted I get some sleep. He helped me climb over the roof. Once I was inside again, I leaned out the window. If it were up to me, I would have stayed out there with him all night. I was sorry he needed to go but he was right. We had school and other things to do. “Goodnight, North,” I said.
He leaned down and brought his face close to mine. His coarse fingers swept across my cheek. I steeled myself to not pull away. “Goodnight, Sang,” he whispered.
With that, he moved back the way we had come, climbing the roof and dropping out further than I could see.
A little later, the sound of a motorcycle started up in the distance and faded away. I did my best to listen, trying to memorize the sound. I wanted to always know when he came near. Next time I wouldn’t hesitate to open the window.
T UESDAY
F irst D ay
I dreamed about a frost that was sweeping over a field. I was running to stay ahead of it. The frost froze animals and plants solid. If it touched me, I would freeze to the spot forever.
I woke two hours before I needed to get ready. I wrote in my diary about my dream. Most of my diary consisted of a record of the dreams I had. I tried looking for patterns sometimes but after a while, I stopped trying to analyze so much. It was now just a habit to occupy my time. There was rarely anything else for me to do in the house.
