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I dragged myself to my knees, sitting back on my heels. Something was wrong. I sensed it from him. I stared after him with unspoken questions, asking in silence what was wrong. His eyes darted away toward the wall. Whatever it was, he couldn’t tell me.
“Notes from stupid kids from school,” Gabriel said. “A few that Sang’s mom missed I guess.”
Mr. Blackbourne collected the notes from Gabriel’s hand. He selected one, flipping it around and read through it. He frowned. “Can’t take her anywhere.”
“What does it say?” I asked.
Mr. Blackbourne scrunched his eyebrows at me. “You don’t know?”
“She doesn’t read them,” Gabriel said. “North told her not to.”
“North is right,” Mr. Blackbourne said. He folded the note and put it in his blazer pocket. “Gabriel, Luke and Kota, go hunt the house for any more notes that she might have found. I want every last one of them. If she gets any more, take them from her and hand them to me or to North. We can’t risk her mother seeing them and setting her off in a frenzy again. Go and find them now.” He wasn’t just asking them to find notes. He was ordering them to leave the room.
Kota shot a glare to Mr. Blackbourne that made me shiver. I never saw Kota so cold before. Luke rose from the floor and put a hand on Kota’s arm, tugging him along. Kota gazed quietly at me once and stalked out after the others, closing the door behind him.
Secret Plans
I was alone with Mr. Blackbourne. I’d been alone with him before, but not in my own bedroom, and not under such strange circumstances. It felt worse than the first time I’d been alone with him. I felt naked, vulnerable. He knew so much about me now. Did he regret drawing me further into their circle?
“Would you sit down?” He stretched his hand toward the bed.
I rose from the floor, finding the dull pain in my tailbone strengthening. I’d been ignoring it before now, crawling around in the attic and playing with the boys, but it was starting to get to me. I sat delicately on the edge of bed.
Mr. Blackbourne planted himself next to me, his feet flat on the floor. He propped himself up with his elbows on his knees, his face buried in his hands. He rubbed at his tired cheeks. Was this the same strong and confident Mr. Blackbourne that I’d come to know at school? He felt so out of place here with me, younger and looking for answers like I was. “Miss Sorenson,” he said. “Did you know your mother has cancer?”
My heart dropped. My mind solidified into a blank, shapeless mass. I shook my head. Cancer? What was that? I knew what it was, but in my mind, it was like I forgot what it meant for a moment. I was dull. I was hopeless. “I knew she was really ill,” I whispered. “My dad never told us the details.”
“It’s why she’s on so many medications,” he said. “When they did the biopsy, she almost died. They’re not sure if they want to do surgery because they think it might kill her.” He sat up again, twisting his body to put his palm on the bed, leaning against it to nearly hover over me. “If they don’t, it’ll spread and it might get worse. It might become untreatable.”
My eyes dropped to his hand, noting the smooth skin, and the trace of a scar across a knuckle. My mind, however, was a million miles away. How long had my parents known and never told me? Was this what Kota didn’t want me to know about?
“I hate to ask you this now,” he said softly. “Do you know anything about your mom’s past? About her parents?”
I shook my head. “I’ve never met them. They’re still alive, I think. She mentioned them a couple of times before she got sick. She never talks to them and they never call.”
His hand moved from the bed to my face. He dropped a forefinger against the tip of my chin, catching it and tilting it up. His fingertip was smooth and warm. He lifted until I was caught up in his soft gray eyes, leaving me breathless. “Have either of your parents ever touched you in a way that wasn’t appropriate?”
My cheeks enflamed. “No,” I insisted, as loud as I could with what little voice I had. “They’ve never beat me. I mean they never...”
“I don’t mean in that way,” he said.
“Mr. Blackbourne,” I said, my eyes narrowing on his. I thought my heart was thumping so loud that he could hear it. “The most she’s ever done was to pull me by the arm to get me to sit or stand somewhere. I can’t remember the last time my father touched me at all. He’s never here.” I swallowed. “We’re not the closest family. We don’t touch.” How did he do that? All he had to do was get me to look into his eyes, and I was pouring my heart out, sharing secrets with him about things I never imagined I would tell anyone, not even to Kota.
He searched my eyes as if looking for answers to questions he hadn’t asked out loud. His hand lifted from my chin and he traced a fingertip over my cheek. My body released a shiver. Didn’t he understand? I didn’t get touching at all. Up until a couple of weeks ago, no one ever did touch me and suddenly there’s been an onslaught of boys all holding my hand, hugging me, wrapping arms around me. I’ve never in my life had anyone do that. While I was slowly not cowering at every little touch, deep inside I was craving more than ever because it was everything I thought I was missing out on. Maybe it was wrong of me to feel that way. I didn’t know what was normal any more. Everything I’d read in books or saw on TV didn’t match up to what I felt with them. All I knew was that every time one of the boys let go, I was desperate to reach back, to pull them back to me. I just didn’t know how.
And I tried to tell him this, to say with my eyes everything I wanted to tell them all but didn’t have the courage. My tongue danced behind my teeth with the words that tasted almost right, but I knew I could never say it out loud. They would think I was crazy. They wouldn’t understand.
Mr. Blackbourne released me. “Miss Sorenson,” he said softly. “I promise you. If you give me a chance, if you’ll trust me, I’ll do everything I can to make sure you make it out of this situation safely.”
“What do you mean?” I whispered, confused by his overwhelming concern. He still hardly knew me. He and the others helped me set the stage to face off with my mother when she woke up. What more could they do?
The air stilled around us. There were only his steel eyes that seemed to swallow me up like a wave of water.
I forced my lips to part. “Mr. Blackbourne...”
He sighed, pulled back. “Until we get a better system together, one of the boys will stay with you here in your house.”
My eyes widened. “How? They’ll get caught.”
“Your mother needs to be monitored,” he said. “I’ll need you to talk to Dr. Green and have him tell you what you need to do. If she wakes up within the next 24 hours, she can stay at home but if she doesn’t wake up, she needs to be taken to the hospital. We’ve set up an IV for her. Whoever stays with you will be able to replace it as needed but I want them to show you how to do it, too. If she keeps it in while she’s awake, you should replace it.”
My mind was still whirling about what he said a moment ago. I swallowed back questions. “I’ll do my best.”
“I know you will,” he said. He stood up. “North and Silas should be about done. Victor will get you a new phone. The rest of us still have work to do before Monday.”
“I’m sorry,” I said softly. My eyes closed to force back the warmth of tears. I felt so badly about everything. Somehow I felt responsible for dragging them into this. I was a distraction when they were all so busy with trying to save the school and with whatever other Academy work they had to do. It seemed more important than my problems. They didn’t ask to be in the middle. “I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused.”
I was going to say more but his fingers sought out my mouth, closing my lips. “You were unexpected,” he said softly. “But you’re far from a burden. North was right. What kind of group would we be if we couldn’t look after one little girl?” His eyes told me more than he was saying. This wasn’t something I could take back. They made a plan. This was what was going to
happen. I didn’t have a choice in the matter. They were determined to intervene. He swallowed and stepped back, releasing my lips from his touch. “Let’s call everyone in. We need to make final plans.”
He turned away from me and toward the door, his incapacitating command returning as he squared off his shoulders.
I pushed a palm to my cheek, trying to calm myself from the intensity of his words and touches.
Mr. Blackbourne twisted the handle and swung the door open. Kota was leaning against the doorframe with his arms folded over his chest. His face was grim. He wasn’t hiding that he had been trying to listen in the entire time.
“Get the others,” Mr. Blackbourne ordered. “All of them.”
