“Janie won’t like it,” Levi says to us, “but convincing her might be within our power.”
“You could sell a megaphone to a mime, Jeeves,” Austin says.
Haymitch sputters a laugh.
“We’ve hung out with her at The Farm many times,” Levi explains.
“It’s not actually a farm,” Austin says to us.
“It’ll always be The Farm,” Levi says.
Every time he speaks, his smooth voice is a magnet pulling me back, forcing my gaze to him. Each time, it’s a zap of pleasure I can’t afford. Sophie dives in headfirst, but I can’t. Not after Aiden. No matter how kind or gentle Levi seems, I have to make better choices this time. Desperate for a distraction, I turn to Mia. “How are your sisters?”
Maybe she can anchor me back to solid ground.
CHAPTER TEN
When our wings arrive,Levi’s gaze lingers on his fork as everyone else dives in with their hands. Some of my restrained laugh sneaks out, and his attention snaps to me. I wiggle sauce-covered fingers in his direction, eyes wide like it will horrify him, and then remember Project Ignore the Obscenely Attractive Guy in Front of Me. I lower my head before I see his reaction.
He maintains his polish, even joining us to eat wings like a caveman, and dabs the sauce off his nose when his bite errs. I mostly avoid detection when I peek across to enjoy his alienness.
On my way to the restroom, I weave between tables.
“Hey, Kit?” Levi’s voice. He brushes my arm—light, innocent, but black claws of fear spring into my chest. I yank my arm away, heart hammering. The hum of the restaurant turns to a roar as a wave of panic crashes over me. My hands shake. My throat tightens. My eyes blur.
“Oh. I’m sorry I scared you.”
I dash to the bathroom. He didn’t mean anything by it and doesn’t need to see my tears. I tuck into a stall and lock the world out, pressing against the door, fighting for control. I thought I could escape the memories, but they’ve followed me all the way here.
I was spared. God protected me. I haven’t seen Aiden in months. What is wrong with me?
I hate this, God. I hate feeling crazy.
I fight the self-pity, the anger. I don’t deserve it. I force it down, down. I wash my hands and face. With a shaky breath, I paste on a happy face that looks almost believable in the mirror.
Levi watches me as I rejoin the table.Are you alright?he mouths.
I lower my voice so that only he can hear. “I can be jumpy.”
He nods once, apologetic.
Wow, he handled that well. I want to hug him for his kindness and understanding, which is absurd since his touch is what made me go bonkers. I settle for a little smile that he reciprocates.
“You have an impressive spice tolerance.” Two fingers gesture elegantly at my empty hot wings basket. His hushed voice draws me closer.
“I draw the line here.” I point at the sign on the table with the sauces in order of heat. Dad adds hot sauce to practically everything he eats. Compared to him, I’m a wimp.
Mia leaves me to nearly whisper with Levi as they carry on in conversation. Odd that she’s concerned about the happily bickering guy but not the quiet, charming one. I’ll have to look out for myself.
“I get teary-eyed about here.” He points three sauces down.
“I wouldn’t mind seeing that,” I say. Oops, too comfortable.
“You enjoy making guys cry?” His mouth shows barely a whisper of the emotion his eyes betray, as if life has taught him to button up, but his inner thoughts have to come out somewhere. Right now they’re all playfulness, but no creases. Yet. I wonder if Icould make him laugh. I beat that thought down with a mental stick.
“Seems like the only time guys let themselves cry is after some sports game. Is that you?”
“The sport I cared most about in high school was swimming. My face was already wet, so no one will ever know.” Laughter leaks out silently. Entrancing.
