Sophie’s eyes flit from Austin to me, a shadow crossing her face, but she resets with a laugh. “Projected movies and piles of snacks,” she sings, twirling like Maria inThe Sound of Music.
“Yep. Only your favorite things. I have three choices of movies ready, but anything you want.”
“Ooh, let’s hear them.”
“Well,La La Land,Back to the Future, andFather of the Brideall have scenes in Pasadena,” I offer.
Giant hug. “Any of them. All of them. Thanks, Kit. Best birthday ever.” But when she steps away, she swallows, darting glassy eyes away, and flits to Ayumi.
My shoulders droop. Nothing’s ever simple with Sophie. I doubt I’ll ever know what I did wrong.
Sophie prances into my room the next day. “Another one like clockwork,” she sing-songs, handing me a beautifully wrapped fruit tart taped to a Levi envelope.
“Oh good, it’s you this time.” I drop my head back.
“Do you get major eye rolls from the others sent in here?”
“More like glare stares.”
She cackles as she plops my desk chair to twirl in circles. “Can’t blame them. I can’t believe he gets other girls to bring you his presents.”
“Right? Why doesn’t he just text me to come get them?”
“Maybe to prove he can convince any girl on campus? Or to be sure they all know he picks you? It’s kind of adorable in his Sir Levi way.”
This is the third day this week that a gourmet dessert has made its way to my room, always accompanied by a charming handwritten note. I keep every note in my desk drawer. Maybe that makes me a creep, but I can’t make myself throw them away. These beautiful white notecards, thick and smooth, covered in hisprecious boy cursive, must know they’re not trash. Like the opposite of Forky jumping into the trash can, they would probably wake upToy Story-style and climb back onto my desk, sensing their worth. In the desk drawer they must live.
I rip the plastic off and take a bite. “This is incredible, as always. Try it.”
“Ooh, yes, please.” She jumps up and the chair spins. “So how does it feel to be the chosen one?”
It’s terrifying. Absurd. And tragically temporary, because a guy like Levi won’t wait forever. He doesn’t have to.
I shrug.
She stares me down with sudden and vicious disdain. “You could at least be happy about it. The guy hasn’t asked a single girl out in two years. He picks you to lavish expensive desserts on, and you’re like ‘Not impressed. Try harder.’”
“It’s not like that.”
“Then what is it like, Kit?” She says my name like it’s a curse word.
My gut churns with hurt, but no way am I going to tell her the whole story. Even if she does hate me in this moment. “I don’t want to talk about me.” I clear my hoarse throat. “Where did Austin take you for your birthday yesterday?”
She lets a breath out and looks anywhere but me. “To a creek. On an adventure.”
“That sounds like a Sophie-dream situation. Why do you look so bummed?”
She shakes her head and walks out.
College is a weird place. In a few weeks I’ve already become fully engrossed in these people’s lives. Sharing meals and nights and weekends together, living in the same tiny space, I already know my suite girls better than I knew my friends back home. But I do not understand this from Sophie. She and I hold back. I started it, so it’s my fault.
And Levi—I have to keep him at arm’s length. It’s the only way I can cope with my life the way it is now, to keep the darknessin my mind confined to the edges. But his patient attention and smiling eyes don’t abate. After our ill-fated study disaster, he hasn’t asked me out again, but his sweets-sending certainly isn’t nothing. I rejected his real dates, and I wouldn’t dream of touching him. Short of avoiding him entirely, I don’t know what else I’d do. I’m on a runaway train, and a fiery crash is inevitable.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“Hey,Kit, c-could I take you to dinner this weekend?”
Matt? He’s the quiet, unassuming guy from Calc III. Shy but sweet. His vibe is the complete opposite of Levi’s or Aiden’s—nothing intimidating, no effortless charm. His shirt hangs loosely on his skinny frame, and his hair is neatly in place. There’s nothing flashy about him, but he seems gentle, with a kind face.
