“Maybe it’s one and then the other?” I say, my voice quieter than I intend. “The stopping and listening comes naturally to me, but the go-and-try part … it’s a lot. I don’t want to disappoint God. I love him so much.”
His tender look steals the last bit of air from my lungs. Without a word, he turns away from my approaching building, quietly extending our walk.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“Can I ask you something?”I ask.
Levi chuckles. “You don’t normally ask permission.” He motions for me to go ahead.
“Why do you get weird when people act like you don’t understand what they’re saying? You’re clearly extremely intelligent. Why the insecurity?”
He gapes.
“Sorry, I?—”
“What do you mean I get weird?”
“You kind of … fuss at them.” I hesitate, tucking my hair behind my ear. “With a face. A ‘don’t mess with me’ face.”
He lets out a breath. “For my father, our academic success was not optional. He wanted us to get into Yale by merit, to hold our own in his intellectual circles, like it was proof that our family was perfect, flawless.” He shakes his head. “Maybe I’m still touchyabout it. I sure liked your compliment though,” he jokes. Quieter, “You really are one of a kind, Kit.”
So much humility and authenticity. “Sorry, that was invasive. You’re not mad?”
He pivots to effortlessly walk backward. “No, and I’ll prove it. Ask me another personal question.” His cheek twitches, like he’s bracing himself.
I laugh. “Fred Astaire wants his moves back.”
“Veronica Mars wants her interrogation skills back.”
“V Mars! My brothers and I love her.” I suppress the impulse to push him as he walks in front of me. “Okay, since you offered … are you still all cagey with your friends? Your other friends, I mean.”
His eyes flicker with guilt and amusement. “Usually. I prefer to think of it as being a good listener.”
“You are an excellent listener.”
The sidewalk veers and I point him the right direction. He doesn’t miss a step.
“Any more questions for me? It’s only fair.” If I didn’t know better, I’d think I was flirting with Off-Limits Guy. But my grin falls as I spot the door to Common Grounds—the one I went barreling through at our disastrous study date. A sharp reminder of the lunacy of this thing with him.
I turn back to his smile radiating into eye creases. Forget the door.
“I do have a question,” he says. “Why don’t you like hearing that you’re beautiful?”
My mouth drops open, then snaps shut. I avoid his gaze—tricky when he’s right in front of me—but his honesty makes me want to be brave. “It’s sort of a recent thing. I was extra regular-looking until senior year, and now … well, now I look different, and it hasn’t been a good thing.”
“It’s not a good thing to be alarmingly gorgeous?”
I want that compliment to feel like one, but it sits in my stomach like a rock. “No. It’s probably different as a dude—” I glance up, and he smirks. Great. “But for me,no. Girls haven’t been very nice about it. And the attention…” Especially the bad kind. “I’d go back to regular Kit in a heartbeat.”
We arrive at my building, and he pauses by the bench. “It would be impossible not to notice you’re breathtaking, but that’s not why I want to know you better. It’s certainly not the only reason at least.”
I don’t know if I believe him. Or if it even matters.
“You’re special, Kit, like no one else. The time I get talking to you—it’s never enough.”
Smart-Athlete-Vulnerable-Jesus-loving Levi is saying that to me? No, no, no. This is exactly what I was afraid of.
Help!
