He bristles and straightens his back, turning to face me. His beautiful eyes are guarded, and his expression is unreadable. He grips the cloth before speaking.
He clears his throat. “What are you doing here?” My heart sinks. He doesn’t want me to be here. My chest tightens asI approach the boat. I take a deep breath. Stumbling, I catch myself and push forward.
“Can we talk? It won’t take long.”
Scott sets the cloth aside and jumps off the boat’s ladder to stand beside me. His posture is relaxed, but there’s tension in his face. “I’m listening.”
Clasping my hands in front of me, I force myself to hold his gaze. “You deserve an apology,” I begin, my voice trembling. “A real one. No excuses. What I did. It was wrong. I should’ve been honest with you from the start.”
His face remains unreadable, but the silence between us presses down like a weight, urging me to keep going. I move my gaze from him to the dock, unable to fix on him for too long.
“I was scared—scared that if I told you, you’d try to stop me… or walk away. I know I wasn’t fair to you. I hate what I did.” My voice trembles, but I push forward. “You’re everything to me. I know I ruined it.” I look up, hoping he’ll tell me it isn’t over. He doesn’t move. He’s listening. “I’m so sorry, and… I love you.”
My confession hangs in the air, raw and exposed. Heat floods my face, but I don’t back down. He needs to know how bad I feel, even if it changes nothing.
Scott tightens his jaw and swallows. I think he’s going to turn away. Then he sighs, running a hand through his hair as he approaches me.
“Maddie…” His voice is softer than I expect, and the ache in my chest deepens. “I won’t lie. What you did… it hurt. It’s hurt like hell.” Anger flashes across his features. “But I understand why you did it. You’re searching for answers. I know how much Nathan means to you. I share the blame for what happened between us.” He takes a breath and looks back at me, his eyes filled with sadness. “I shouldn’t have dismissed you so quickly. I should have listened. We could have met in the middle.”
His hazel eyes shine. “We didn’t ruin everything. Not completely. But this…” He gestures between us, his hand dropping back to his side without touching me, his eyes dimming. “I won’t go there again. What I can give you is friendship and protection.”
The tears I’m holding back are stinging my eyes. “I understand.” I take a deep breath, my voice shaky. “It’s just, I… I hope that maybe someday we might be able to…” I stop, unable to say anymore. I’m too scared.
“No. I’m sorry. I just can’t.” He stares at me with unyielding eyes, destroying any hope that we can get back what we had.
His expression softens, yet the distance remains. “I still care and will help you find those answers you’re looking for.”
The blend of relief and heartache is overwhelming. “Thank you,” I whisper, my voice shaking.
Scott reaches out, his hand brushing against my face. It’s fleeting. Not the embrace I long for. The softness of his touch only makes me want more. “No more secrets, okay? If we’re going to work together, you need to trust me as much as you trust yourself.”
“No more secrets. I promise.” I force my voice to remain steady even as a few tears fall. He pretends he doesn’t see them. I pull the maps from my purse. “I want to give you these. They’re Nathan’s. He charted the tunnels he explored. I think he was close to finding what he was looking for. Please use them.”
He takes the papers from my hands, careful not to touch me. “Thank you for trusting me. I’ll take good care of them. See you tomorrow.” He glances down at Ding, sprawled out on the dock. Scott crouches to scratch behind his ears. Ding eagerly licks his hands and when Scott stands, Ding circles his feet. He misses Scott and wants him to stay.
Taking one last look at us, Scott waves goodbye before returning to the boat.
I try to find hope in what he’s offered me, even if it’s not what I want. I turn and walk away, my steps heavy.
Scott’s gaze burns through my shirt to the skin on my back. I imagine him standing at the railing, his grip tight as he watches me leave.
Chapter 30
Scott
“We’re all set,” Jamie calls from the aft deck, adjusting the straps on his gear. He’s full of nervous energy. “You ready to make history, boss?”
My mind is on the dive ahead. “Let’s aim for the kind of history we walk away from.” Jamie tries to laugh, but it’s hollow. He hastens away to grab his reel without a quip or joke. The whole crew dynamic has changed these last few weeks without Maddie in my life. We’re all walking around like shells of the people we were, and we miss her sweet face. After Maddie’s visit yesterday, I went home and tried to make peace with it. My love for her is still strong, but it’s tainted. I wanted to tell her I don’t want to be her friend and I want to marry her, but I forced myself to tell her the truth. It wasn’t possible to go back. I can’t get past the distrust. To heal this wound, I’d have to open my heart enough to give her everything she needs. I can’t do that. It’s better this way.
The sharp trill of the satellite phone cuts through the morning stillness. Margaret picks it up, rolling her eyes as she hands it to me.
“Garrett,” she mutters.
I sigh, pressing the phone to my ear. “Rickter.”
“Update,” Garrett snaps.
“We’re at the descent point. Jamie and I are about to go in. Margaret and Liam are topside.”
