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“And?”

“And she said you were the sweetest girl she’s ever known.”

“And?”

He sighs, looking uncomfortable for once and I’m glad I’m finally able to crack through that smug disposition of his.

“What did she say?” I demand.

“She said you might want to be my friend.”

“Be your friend?”

“I don’t know anybody around here and Cora was concerned that a quote “young man like you might get yourself into some trouble without a nice girl around.””

I can’t help but smile. That sounds exactly like something Cora would say. She grew up in Minnesota and is still very old-fashioned about some things. I’ve only been on one date since I moved into this apartment two and a half months ago. The instant my date brought me home, I glimpsed Cora peeking through her blinds to make sure I wasn’t inviting him into my apartment. I love Cora, but she can be a bit nosy and meddlesome.

“So you’re just following Cora’s advice. Well, let me save you the trouble. I’ll go back inside and you can tell Cora that we went out to lunch and had a really nice time. And I’ll go back to sleep. Then we all get what we want.”

“That’s not what I want.”

He looks me in the eye and I can’t help but marvel at his features: his perfect lips, the straight slope of his nose, the intense glare. He could be on the cover of GQ magazine and thousands of girls and guys would drool in the checkout lane.

“What do you want?” I ask, wishing I had brought a bottle of water because my mouth has suddenly gone dry.

“I want to be your friend. And I want to take you to get a fucking burger.”

“Well, when you put it that way, how can a girl resist.”

He shakes my knee, just the way he did in the truck last night, but this time I don’t complain about personal space. This time I kind of like it.

He pulls out of the apartment complex onto Lumina and heads in the direction of Johnnie Mercer’s Pier. My body is suddenly zinging with nerves. This feels like a date, but he said he wants to be my friend. I despise uncertainty. I prefer being upfront and honest about everything – except my reasons for dropping out, of course.

A girl is allowed to keep one big secret.

Cora told me this the day I moved in after asking why I had moved all the way to Wrightsville Beach from Raleigh. I told her, jokingly, I’d moved here to see if the ocean could cleanse my sin. That’s when she told me, quite seriously, that I was allowed to keep one big secret. For some reason, hearing those words from Cora changed something inside me.

The truth was that I had come to Wrightsville Beach to disappear, possibly forever. After that conversation with Cora, I looked up yoga and meditation studios. Then a customer at the café recommended the female surfer who owned the shop next door. Fallon taught me a few basic meditation techniques and that was it. I was hooked.

When I meditate, I become someone better. I’m not this person who’s made a million mistakes; the kind of mistakes that will haunt me for a lifetime. I’m not the person who should be lashed for all the awful, selfish decisions I’ve made over the last year since he left. When I meditate, I’m the new Claire. And today that’s who I’ll be with Adam.

“You’re quiet,” he says as he pulls the truck into the pier parking lot.

“Are you taking me to lunch at Buddy’s? “Cause I’m allergic to shellfish. I can’t even go in there without my throat closing.”

“Oh, shit. Sorry. I didn’t know that.” He looks over his shoulder to see if it’s safe to flip a U-turn out of the parking lot. “Where do you want to go?”

“I’m only kidding, but I had Buddy’s a couple of days ago. Can we go somewhere else?”

He pulls back out onto Lumina and shakes his head. “Oh, you think that’s funny, making me think I’m about to kill you for the second time.” I shrug as he turns the truck around and heads back toward our apartment. “All right, jokester, I’ve got one for you. Why are E.T.’s eyes so big?”

“Duh. Because he saw the phone bill. Please, I’ve heard that one a billion times.”

“Okay, what did the pony say when he had a sore throat?” He pauses for a moment then says, “I apologize. I’m a little horse.”

“Are you ten years old?”

He laughs and I can’t help but smile as I shake my head. “I’ve got some better jokes, but I like to start with the clean ones.”

“Thanks. I appreciate that.”

I want to ask him what he does for a living, but I’m afraid that will lead into what he went to school for. Then that will lead back to why I dropped out. I try to think of a non-standard date question, but my head feels all cloudy just from being near him and I’m having a hard time focusing.

He pulls into our apartment complex a few minutes later and parks his car. “You’ve probably been to all the restaurants around here a million times. I’m going to make you some lunch.”

“Wow. You don’t waste any time, do you?”

He throws open his door and glances over his shoulder at me. “I said I wanted to be your friend, Claire. I have no intention of trying to sleep with you.”

I’m not sure I totally buy that, but I’ll go along with it. I’m starving.

“If this is just a friendly thing, can I invite Cora?” I ask as we cross the driveway.

“You’re going to make her walk up all those stairs?”

“Oh, right.”

Well, there goes my big plan to use Cora as a buffer. My stomach tightens more with each step and I begin to shiver the moment I see the stairs. He climbs a few steps and turns around when he doesn’t hear me behind him.

“Are you coming? I promise to be good.” He winks as he says this and I can’t believe the nerve of this guy.

What’s worse is that I feel drawn to him. I want to follow him into his apartment.

“You’re not going to poison me, are you?”

“I’m going to poison you with my charm, but only if you keep stalling. Come on.”

I take the first step and Chris’s voice echoes inside my head.

“I guess I’ll let you sleep and maybe when you wake up you’ll chill the fuck out and realize that just because someone’s nice to you it doesn’t mean they want to fuck you. Or you can come downstairs and hang out and maybe I’ll play you a song.”

I should have gone to sleep that day and I’m beginning to think I should have stayed asleep tod

ay.

Relentless Questions

My jaw drops the moment we step inside his apartment. The living room looks like the cover of a beach home magazine. One day after moving in and he already has everything in its place, save for a few empty broken-down cardboard boxes in the corner next to a sleek drafting table. His apartment makes our apartment downstairs look like it was designed by six-year-olds.

“Holy shit,” I whisper as he makes his way toward the kitchen. “This is amazing.”

He smiles as he glances over his shoulder and the dimple on his right cheek quirks up. “I plan on staying here a while.”

I follow him into the kitchen and I’m surprised at what he’s been able to do with the limited space. He has a fancy stainless-steel refrigerator and his countertops are completely free of clutter. The only items on his counter are a coffee machine and a cordless phone. He pulls something out of a cupboard over the sink and I laugh when I see the box of macaroni and cheese in his hand.

“Is that what you’re planning to make?”

“Hey, I never said I could cook. I just said I’d make you lunch. You can’t expect me to be good at everything or this will never work.”

I take a seat on a barstool at the breakfast bar as he begins to prepare our gourmet lunch. “So what else are you good at?”

This is probably a bad question to ask while trapped inside his apartment, but it’s safer than asking him what he does for a living.

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll figure that out soon enough.”

“You know, you don’t have to answer every question with a sexual innuendo. I get it.”

He fills a pot with some water and places it on the stove. “Let’s see… Some would say I’m a good surfer.” He’s having trouble lighting the burner under the pot.

“Do you need some help?”

I guess he didn’t bring his own fancy oven, though I suppose that makes sense if his specialty is mac ‘n’ cheese. It looks like the same model in our apartment downstairs. I slide off the barstool and join him in the kitchen.

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