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It’s true. I really wish I could tell him the truth. I wish I could tell everybody the truth. Keeping the secret alone is enough to make me grind my teeth in my sleep. This secret is eating away at me. The only thing that keeps it from consuming me is meditation.
“Does it have to do with money?”
“No, my tuition was paid for by the State of North Carolina.”
“If you tell me why you dropped out, I’ll tell you why I moved to Wrightsville Beach,” he offers, and he has my attention.
I sit up and look him in the eye. He nods at me as if to say, The ball’s in your court.
I want to tell him everything, from the day I arrived at the Knight family’s house more than five years ago to the day I moved into this apartment almost three months ago, but I can’t. Everyone thinks they’ll understand, they swear they’ll understand, but when you tell them about the horrible things you’ve done they can’t help but judge you or, worse, pity you. I don’t want anybody’s judgment or pity. I just want to be forgotten and, if I’m lucky enough, forgiven.
“Sorry, but that’s a trade I can’t make.”
He doesn’t appear disappointed. He probably anticipated this. “
All right. How about this?” He closes his eyes as he takes a beat. “If I can get you to tell me why you dropped out of school then you have to go back.”
I chuckle. “That’s funny.”
“It’s not funny. I’m serious. This is a serious bet. I think you desperately want to go back to school and I’m willing to put our friendship on the line in order to see that you make it back. What do you say?”
How the hell does he know so much about me from a conversation with Cora? The truth is I do want to go back to school. I was a Sociology major. My dream was to become a caseworker; a better caseworker than the half-dozen I had. I wanted to make sure that no kid felt the way I did, like a nuisance.
I arch my eyebrow and pretend to think about it, because I know he’ll never weasel this out of me. “What’s in it for me if I don’t give up my secret?”
“You get to keep your secret.”
“No, you have to do something.”
He lets out a deep sigh. “I’ll stop stalking you at the café.”
“And you’ll never try to kill me again?”
“I can’t promise that.” The sexy smile on his face makes my heart race and, for once, I’m a little worried about the security of my secret.
Thank you!
