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Melina comes out of the kitchen carrying a large white cake stand. I recognize it as the one my mom used for my birthday cake in May. It was the first cake stand she got before she opened her bakery. There must be some big event going on at the shop for her to allow Melina to use it.
Claire looks at Melina for a moment before she glances back at me. It’s just a split-second look, but I swear there was a trace of jealousy in her eyes.
She leans my crutches against the handrail and descends the stairs. She gives my mom a hug before she turns to Melina and holds out her hand. “I’m Claire.”
Melina takes her hand and my mom beams as if she’s introducing long lost sisters.
“Claire, this is Melina. She was with us for a few months just two years before you showed up.”
Melina and Claire share a quick handshake before Melina casually moves toward the door. “I should get going back to the shop now. Nice to meet you, Claire.”
She glances up at me and I raise my eyebrows, but I don’t say anything. I don’t want to give Claire the idea that I know this girl even though she did stay with us a billion years ago.
“Nice to meet you, too,” Claire says as my mom opens the door for Melina.
My mom closes the door and looks up at me with utter contempt. “Jesus, Christopher. She came to me a few weeks ago because she had aged out and needed a job. She’s going through a really hard time. You could have been just a little more courteous.”
I roll my eyes because I am not going to be courteous to a strange girl who obviously makes Claire uncomfortable.
Claire squints at me for a second before she rushes out the front door. My mom looks confused then quickly follows after her.
Damn this leg! I hop down the steps and grab my crutches from where Claire left them. By the time I make it onto the front doorstep, Claire and my mom are returning up the front walk. They both look serious, then I spot a hint of a smile on Claire.
“What was that?” I ask as she enters the house ahead of me and holds the door open for me.
“I just wanted to give her my number in case she needs someone to talk to.”
My mom enters behind me and I stand inside the foyer watching them. I know my mom. She wants to be angry with Claire because of Abigail, but Claire is not going to allow that.
God, I fucking love her.
“That was very kind of you,” my mom says to Claire. “But we still have some things we need to talk about. You go ahead upstairs and let Chris show you his little surprise then we can talk.”
I make my way upstairs as quickly as I can, before my mom can interrupt again. Claire follows me into my bedroom, though I sense a bit of reluctance as she enters.
“I’m not going to try anything. I know you have a boyfriend.”
She winces at the word boyfriend then shakes her head. “I don’t have a boyfriend. Adam and I broke up.”
I want to tell her how happy this makes me, but her face screws up, as if she’s in physical pain, and I’m suddenly mad as hell. Did this motherfucker break her heart?
“I didn’t know that. I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not. This is what you wanted.”
“Claire, I want you, but I don’t want to see you in pain.”
She closes her eyes as she heaves a deep sigh. She’s trying to hold it together. “What’s the big surprise?”
I think of the box of photos my mom found in her room the other day while searching for Claire’s diary. I was so pissed when I found out what she had been doing, but I quickly got lost in the pictures. It was the box of photos I hid in her room after I left to L.A. because I knew my mom would leave Claire’s room as is. I didn’t trust her to do the same with my room. I looked through that box of pictures the other day and found moments I’d long since forgotten. I hoped that giving her the pictures might spark some forgotten feelings inside her, but now I can’t bring myself to put her through that. She doesn’t need me pushing myself on her right now. What she needs right now is a friend.
“It can wait,” I say as I nod toward the bed. “Sit down so we can talk.”
“I don’t need to talk.”
“Don’t pull that on me, Claire.” I rest my crutches against the dresser and sit down on the edge of the bed as I pat the mattress. “Talk to me.”
She sits next to me, but she stares straight ahead at the mirror above the dresser. “I can’t talk to you about this.”
I don’t want to hear about her problems with Adam. I think I’d rather break my leg again than talk about this with her, but I’m nothing if not a complete fool when it comes to Claire.
“You can talk to me about anything, babe.”
She glances at me and I nod to encourage her. “He left for Hawaii four weeks ago and everything just fell apart. He said we should take a break so we don’t hate each other by the time he gets back.”
“So you two are getting back together when he gets back?”
“I don’t know.”
She looks miserable. This is not how you treat someone you supposedly love. This guy is a fucking idiot.
“Do you want to get back together with him when he gets back?”
She sighs again as she stares at the carpet. “I don’t know. I….” She looks at me then shakes her head. “I can’t talk about this with you. This is too awkward.”
“Awkward?”
She smiles. “Yes. It’s very awkward.”
“You know what’s awkward? You sitting there talking to me about your breakup while wearing that shirt. I think you should take it off and this would get a whole lot less awkward.”
She presses her lips together to suppress her smile. “Really, Chris? You’re talking to me like that at a time like this?”
I can sit h
ere and argue with her and make little cute comments back and forth or I can do something.
I reach across and trace my finger lightly over the side of her cheek. She only flinches a little, but I can see her body tense.
“I’m sorry, but I’ve been dying to touch you since we broke up.” She leans forward and hides her face in her hands. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
She shakes her head as she takes a moment to compose herself. Finally, she pulls her hands away from her face and wipes a few tears away.
“Claire, I love you and I just want you to be happy.”
She looks at me, her eyes are rimmed red, and it’s as if she’s seeing me for the first time. “How can you still love me after everything I’ve done to you?”
“How can I not? You’re the fucking love of my life. You don’t stop loving someone just because they’ve hurt you. Yes, what you did hurt me, but I gain nothing if I stay angry with you. But I might gain everything by forgiving you. You’re my everything. I just want you back.”
She gazes into my eyes and before I can change my mind I take her face in my hands and kiss her.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Claire
HE TASTES MINTY AND I recognize the flavor of his brand of toothpaste—the toothpaste I had to stop using last year because it reminded me too much of him. I want to push him away. I don’t want to kiss Chris. But my curiosity gets the best of me.
Not counting the kiss that didn’t really happen two months ago, this is our first kiss in over a year. How can we still be so in sync? I can anticipate the movement and pressure of his lips, every graze of his tongue, and I respond exactly the way he wants me to. No one can kiss me the way Chris does.
This thought makes me sick and I instantly push him away. “Stop.”
“Why?”
“Because I want you to.”
He looks as though he can’t decide whether he should be pissed or understanding. “You felt that. Don’t tell me you didn’t feel that.”
“Please don’t do this,” I say as I stand. “I came to talk to your mom.”
“Go ahead and walk away. You’re still mine, Claire, whether or not you admit it to yourself.”
I want to tell him to fuck off, but I can’t turn off the nagging voice inside my head telling me he’s right. Why else would that kiss have felt so good?
I leave his room, still attempting to make sense of this. I’m just feeling lonely. I miss Adam. Of course, I wanted to be kissed. And who better to do it than Chris? Someone who’s kissed me a million times. Someone who knows exactly what I want. But that’s all it was, just a kiss. We are not in love anymore. I love Adam.
Even if he did break his promise to never hurt me.
This is not exactly what I wanted to happen when I showed up here. I should never have worn this stupid shirt Senia bought me. I glance down at my chest at the gray T-shirt with a black silhouette of Chris playing the guitar and the letters CK behind the silhouette. I thought it would be kind of funny, but apparently I gave Chris the wrong idea. I should never have told him that Adam
