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When Senia and I enter the critical care room at WakeMed, my head nearly explodes at the sight of Elaine and a man I assume is her new boyfriend standing at Grandma’s bedside. Molly is seated in a chair on the other side of the bed next to a woman with grayish-brown hair and a purple sweater who appears to be taking notes on a clipboard.
“What’s going on?”
Molly whips her head around at the sound of my voice and she runs to me, throwing her arms around my waist. “They’re saying I have to live with her.”
“What? That’s ridiculous.” I pull away from Molly as the woman in the purple sweater turns around to look at me. I look straight at her as I speak the next sentence. “Molly has never lived with Elaine and she never will.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. …?”
The woman rises from her chair and holds her hand out to me as if I’m going to shake it. “I’m Molly’s older brother and I can take care of Molly until our grandma is better.”
She looks slightly perplexed by this statement. “You’re … Tristan?” she asks as she continues to shake my hand.
“Yes.”
“I’m Mrs. Rathbone. The social worker assigned to your sister’s case. We just need to make sure your sister is taken care of while your grandmother is in the hospital.” She pushes the chair aside so I can squeeze in next to Grandma’s bed, then she continues to write something on her clipboard. “Molly told me she would rather live with you, but your mother does have the authority in this situation. Is it true that there is no custody agreement that says you or your grandmother have custody of Molly? Because, if so, I need to know if there is any reason why I should believe that your mother is not equipped to care for her?”
I laugh through gritted teeth as I keep my eyes locked on Elaine’s skinny face. “She’s not my mother and the reasons why she shouldn’t be allowed to call herself Molly’s mother are endless.”
“I’m not sure I understand. Do you care to explain that in more detail?”
Molly knows nothing about what happened the three weeks I lived with Elaine when I was twelve. She doesn’t know the things I did and I hope she never does.
“I can’t say more than that. But, come on, she hasn’t taken care of her own children for twelve years. All Molly knows about her is that she’s an addict.”
“Recovering addict,” Elaine interjects. “I’m clean. Right, Joe?”
The guy standing next to her with his shaggy blond mustache and green and white trucker hat nods. “Clean as a … she’s real clean.”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me?” I say, addressing the social worker. “These two have about as much parental instincts as a fucking dingo. You can’t make Molly go with them.”
“Please watch the language,” Mrs. Rathbone says, looking annoyed with my choice of words.
“Fine. I’ll watch the language, if you promise me that Molly is coming home with me tonight.”
Elaine clears her throat to get everyone’s attention before she speaks. “Mrs. Rathbone, I hate to tell you this in front of everyone, but Tristan has a history of violence. I don’t think Molly should be allowed to live with him.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I roar, incensed by this ridiculous accusation. “If you want to get into our histories, we can do that, but don’t you dare make up baseless lies to satisfy whatever agenda you’re trying to see played out here. Is it the house you want? You can have it. You don’t need Molly to get the fucking house. I’ll give it to you. Just leave us the fuck alone!”
Molly squats down next to me and covers her face as she sobs. Mrs. Rathbone appears conflicted as to whether she should believe Elaine’s accusations or if she should go with her gut, and Molly’s request, to come home with me.
I kneel next to Molly and place my hand on her shoulder. “I’ve got a place in Chapel Hill. I know it’s far from your friends, but I’m sure Jackie will help us so you won’t have to change schools.”
“I don’t want to leave. All my friends live in Raleigh. Why do I have to leave? Why can’t you just move back in?”
I glance up at Senia and I know she’d probably tell me to do whatever is best for Molly, but I don’t think becoming embroiled in a custody battle with Elaine over my grandmother’s house is what’s best for her. Molly’s not thinking. Besides, I highly doubt that it’s just Grandma’s house Elaine wants. I’ve been padding her bank accounts for months and Molly is probably listed as the beneficiary on those accounts. I’m sure Elaine knows that Grandma wouldn’t leave me anything I didn’t need – and there’s nothing I need any more. I’ll hire an estate lawyer first thing tomorrow morning.
Even stronger than my desire to keep Elaine’s hands off Grandma’s assets is my desire to not live in the house I grew up in. I can’t imagine waking up there every day, feeling as if I’ve stepped into an even more depressing version of Groundhog Day. I sure as hell don’t want to raise my child in that tiny two-bedroom house where Elaine grew up. And there’s no way I’m going to live in a place where Elaine feels she can visit us every other day.
“How about this? We’ll scrap the place in Chapel Hill and we’ll get something near Grandma’s,” I say and Molly looks up at me with interest.
Her eyes are puffy and glistening, but her face lights up instantly as she realizes I’m serious. “You would do that?”
“I’ll do anything to keep you away from her.”
A crease forms between her eyebrows, and I know she’s wishing I wasn’t so angry with Elaine. Her expression makes me think of the times I used to read her to sleep. I’d stroke her eyebrows sometimes. They were wispy and soft, and she had a habit of scrunching them up while she slept. I thought if I smoothed her brow, the nightmares would go away.
Mrs. Rathbone clears her throat to interrupt our discussion. “Unfortunately, Molly will have to go with her mother until we can find some kind of living will or custody agreement that precludes her mother. Since it’s New Year’s Day, we’ll have to wait until tomorrow to settle this. It will probably only be a couple of nights. Or, if she prefers, we could put her in a temporary foster care facility.”
I grab Molly’s hand and pull her up so we’re both standing. “No, you don’t understand. She’s not going anywhere with her or any damn stranger. Ever. Not for any amount of days or seconds.”
“Well, I’m afraid that it doesn’t work that way. She needs to go somewhere.”
“Yeah, I’m—”
I point at Elaine and she stops speaking. “Don’t say it. You’re not her mother. You haven’t been her mother since she was a year old and probably even before that. So you can quit this little act.”
“I am her mother and she won’t be staying with me a couple of nights. She’s coming to live with me.”
This is too much for me to handle right now when I’m hungover and Grandma is lying in a bed four feet away from me with a machine breathing for her. I run my hand over my face and take a deep breath. I need a drink.
“Maybe she can stay with Jackie until you guys settle this?” Senia offers.
“Who’s Jackie?” Rathbone asks.
I can’t believe I never thought of that. Chris’s mother, Jackie Knight, hasn’t taken in any foster children since Claire came to their house, like, six years ago. I wonder if there’s some kind of license or certification she needs to maintain to be a foster parent. If so, she’s definitely let that lapse since then.
“Jackie is the mother of a friend of mine. She used to take in foster children a few years ago.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that her mother wants her and we have no evidence of wrongdoing on her part,” Rathbone replies, and I want to wipe the sympathetic look off her face. “Unless you have specific accusations to make against her.”
I glance at Senia and Molly then I close my eyes. I wince as the images assault me. The woman in the corner smiling. The black tears running down Ashley’s cheeks and soaking the pillow. The blood on the sheets.
I shake my head an
d open my eyes. “Let me at least say goodbye to her in private.”
Molly looks horrified as I pull her into the corridor. “You can’t let me go with her.”
I shush her as I continue to drag her away from the room. Senia walks next to me, but I can’t bring myself to look at her. I don’t want to know what she thinks about what I’m doing.
“You can’t do this. This could be kidnapping,” Senia whispers as we turn the corner and the sliding exit doors appear at the end of the corridor.
“I can’t let her go with Elaine.”
“It’s just a couple of nights. Don’t do something you’ll regret the rest of your life for a couple of nights.”
“You don’t know shit about Elaine, so you should just shut up about things you obviously don’t understand,” I bark at her.
The moment we reach the exit doors and they slide open for us, a deep voice shouts, “Stop right there, sir!”
The sight of the two security guards in their gray uniforms throws me into a panic. I grip Molly’s hand tighter and race outside into the parking lot, which is now covered by a fresh dusting of snow.
“Tristan, stop!” Senia shouts, but I don’t look back.
I’ll never look back.
Chapter Thirty-Three
“You’re crazy!” Molly shouts as I peel out of the hospital parking. “What if they arrest you? Then I’ll have to live with her forever!”
