“With her, for the first time, you were secure to be needed and to need. She loved you just as you are, as do I. You’re not scared that I’ll take care of you, you’re terrified you’ll get used to it, and I’ll leave you like Aunt Bea did.”
She flinches.
“That’s why you really push against me.” I cup her cheek.
“She has nothing to do with this.”
“But she does. It’s not just the people who clip our wings that keep us in cages. For so long, she was the most important person in your world. As independent as you are, you depended on her for so much. All the things I depend on you for. Love. Support. Team. Then she left you, and you didn’t have those things anymore. Trina and JoJo may be your sisters in all the ways that matter, but I don’t think you have the relationship with them that you had with your Aunt Bea, or with me, despite you sometimes pulling away.”
“I don’t pull away. I asked you to move in.”
“Yeah, and it’s a huge step for you but your fear is still fighting your heart. You bristled at the idea of me paying for anything. You’re scared. It’s why you don’t always tell me things, like Alex and the flowers or the job offer. I know that fear makes you think you have to handle these things on your own, we can deal with things together. Just let us really be the team you say we are. For real, not just when you want to take care of me.”
She yanks away from me. “I think you should go home.”
“This is my home,ourhome.”
She says nothing, just stares.
“Let’s talk about this.” I step towards her.
She holds up her palm. “Let me be alone with this.”
“But you don’t have to be. Please, let us be a team. I know it’s scary, but together we can do scary things. We already have.”
“I want to be alone.”
“We—”
“You said you’d never make me beg.” Iciness coats her voice.
Pain radiates in my chest as if she’d slammed her fist into it. “Do you really want me to go?”
“Yes.” Her lips quiver, but fierce eyes lock with mine.
“Fine. Come on GB.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Gone
Pen
The clack of GB’s nails against the hardwood as he follows Rowan out echoes as the front door snicks shut. Now, the house is quiet, other than the thump of my heart.
Rowan’s words and his fresh scent lingers in the air. A plush dog bed, tucked in the living room’s corner, lies empty except for a discarded chew toy. Just a few steps from the bed is a bookshelf filled with Aunt Bea’s books and framed pictures from our many adventures. They’re all gone, but still here.
Is he right?The same emptiness that had engulfed me after Aunt Bea died swirls around me. She wasn’t my world, but the person that navigated it with me. Since her death, the thought of traversing it with anyone else wasn’t a reality, until Rowan.
This isn’t goodbye with Rowan. A breakup over a single fight is silly. If that happens, we have no business being in a relationship with anyone, let alone with each other. Still, I know this is more than just a single fight. It isn’t a lone squall in an otherwise calm sea.
Pressed against the wall, I slide down to the floor. Its coolness caresses the backs of my bare legs. I bend my knees and bury my face on them.
A loud knock halts the storm of tears. Dashing them away, I rise. My pulse thuds as I run to the door.
“Ro—”
“Hi, honey.”
