My eyes dart to the fridge.Milk. I decide to have some milk, so I walk to the fridge.
"I—" he stumbles upon his words. "I was just trying out somerecipe to make you a banana cake."
"You didn't have to," I say without looking at him. I take out the low-fat milk from the fridge and pour it into a glass.
After drinking it, I place the glass back onto the counter. I grip the edge of the counter and let out a long sigh, my back still facing him.
What shocks me is that I find Luke's arms circling my waist as he hugs me from behind. My heart skips a beat.
Luke tightens his hold on me, his breath on my neck.
"I care about you, Cassie. I can't stop thinking about you.” His voice is shaking, so close to my ear. “It tortures me to know that I've hurt you. No matter how you push me away, I can't get you out of my mind or stay away from you. Please don't say something like that again."
There's so much pain laced in his voice, and I find myself losing my mind.
Tears form in my eyes. I'm trying to get away from him, but why does my heart tell me the opposite thing?
Luke places a kiss on my neck, and it's so soft. So tender. I'm trying my best to keep sane. He embraces me like his life depends on me.
“I know that it's not only me who feels tortured like this,” he whispers. “I know that you feel it too. I can see it from your tears. I can hear it when you cry. I hurt you more because you can't deny your feelings for me, Cassie. So, please, stop pretending. Stop acting like you don't feel anything, like we're not real."
It's so hard to prevent my sobs from breaking, but I have to, because if I don't, he'll know that every word coming from his mouth is true.
And I'm not ready for that. I'm not ready to trust him.
All the people I love the most have broken my trust and my heart. Morgan. Jude.
I'm not ready to get my heart shattered all over again.
I muster all my power to turn around and walk away from him.Luke stares at me with pain in his glistening eyes.
Ignoring the scream in my heart, I walk out of the kitchen,leaving him alone.
31
________
CASSIE
After today's awkward breakfast and lunch where the three of us ate quietly at the dining table—I was still trying to compose myself after what happened with Luke, and Aiden was still in a bad mood because of Luke's failed attempt to bake the banana cake—I find myself settling at my grand piano inside the music room.
A sigh leaves my lips before I begin playing one of my favorite Disney song—A Whole New World—and it indeed manages to calm me down by the time I finish playing it.
I stare at my music book, in which I draft every song that comes into my head, and slowly open it. I haven't tried composing new songs lately, so maybe I should try to do it now.
Sometimes, the best masterpieces are created when the composer is feeling the worst, when their hearts are most broken.
How ironic.
As I flip through the pages of my music book, something surprises me. There's a sticky note attached to the page.
I hold my breath as I read it.
Are you playing the piano? Every time you do, I can hear it from my room, and it calms me but at the same tortures me because I can't help but realize my feelings for you all over again. - Luke
I sigh, shaking my head in disbelief. He knows that I still don't want to talk to him, so he decided to approach me this way.
Silly. But then, I wonder why my hand is shaking when I turn the page again.
