I didn't mean to hurt her.
I’m so bad at it. Instead of helping her remember me, I make her hate me even more.
I’m so bad at making her remember me.
Those exteriors of me are all I have to hide how much she hurt me.
Now, as I look at her wiping her tears, I realize that I've indeed made a terrible mistake. Jealousy has taken over me, and I've lost control.
My trust issues have made me become the man that I despise.
I’ve become someone who hurt her the most when all she needed was for me to believe her.
"You should eat your dinner," I whisper, staring at her with concern. I know that she tends to skip her meals every time she's feeling down. "I don't want you to get sick."
She still doesn't throw me a glance, staring at the wall ahead, and I wait for her response.
"I'm sorry,” I say. “I'm sorry for accusing you."
She goes silent, still not shifting her attention to me.
"I didn't mean to hurt you," I say, my voice laced with guilt and regret. "I was wrong. I should have believed you from the start. I should have listened to you."
I grit my teeth. Cassie still doesn't want to look at me.
"I was consumed by jealousy," I say. "I was enraged by something that wasn't real, like it was my paranoia. I wasn't in the right state of mind. You were right—I was blind."
Still hearing nothing from her, I feel my heart sink. But I can understand if she's still mad at me.
"I just want to let you know that I fucked up. I trust you, Cassie, and I know that it may be too much to ask, but I need you to trust me too—"
"You don't have to worry about making everything right, about trusting each other.” Her voice is shaking. “There's no need for us to do that. By the end of one year, our deal will be terminated as weagreed before. This is just a fake marriage, after all."
Each of her words feels like a knife slicing my heart, one by one.
No sound leaves my throat. I don't know what to say to her anymore if she feels like that. Her statement is far from the truth, and the pain is unbearable.
Instead of countering her words to make us fight again, I tear my gaze away from her.
"We're not doing this tonight," I whisper before my eyes dart to her food tray. "Don't forget to eat."
And with that said, I walk away from her, giving her the time and space that she needs.
I trudge along the hallway, leaning against the wall as I drag my legs, my hand shot to my chest. Cassie's words keep echoing in my ears, and my heart keeps bleeding and bleeding.
Halfway through the corridor, my vision starts to get blurry with tears, and I slump against the wall, a soft cry escaping from my lips.
It hurts so much, Cassie. It hurts to hear those words again from you.
I still remember the first time I saw her again after seven years, how she hated my guts.
"You're crazy," she barked. "You're insane. You're a lunatic."
Maybe I really am, but didn't she say the same thing about herself all those years ago? She was crazy, just like me.
We were crazy about each other, weren't we?
My heart clenches. My mind flashes back to our wedding day when she almost left me at the altar. She thought that this marriage was a fraud.
