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A burst of laughter brought Robert awake. Frowning into the darkness, he listened briefly, slowly relaxing as he recognized the murmur of Christiana and Richard's voices drawing near. He heard Christiana suggest they check on him and felt a smile curve his lips as he glanced at the lump in the bed next to him, and then the door opened, light splashed in and he saw that the lump was merely the comforter bunched up. Lisa was gone.
"Oh, you're awake," Richard said from the door. "Everything all right?"
"Fine," Robert muttered, turning his head to scowl at him. "I was sleeping but your laughter woke me up. "
Richard's eyebrows rose at the testy voice he used. "Sorry about that, then. Good night. "
Robert sighed as the door closed. He shouldn't have snapped and felt bad about it, but dammit, Lisa had slipped away again when being caught here would have solved everything.
Damn, he thought. Next time he would make sure he made love to her in her room. The thought made him blink in surprise. Hell.
Was he really now contemplating compromising Lisa to force her into marriage? Well, she was already compromised, he just had to prove it. However, the point was that only a matter of days ago, he would have laughed at the suggestion that he wanted to marry anyone, and now he was willing to use dirty tricks to force Lisa into his bed and marriage.
What a difference a day or two could make, Robert thought wryly and then shook his head. He couldn't believe she was not willing to marry him. Most women would be screaming holy murder and demanding he put a ring on their finger after being bedded. But not Lisa.
Robert supposed it was that damned romantic nature of hers. Those bloody books had raised ideas in her. She wanted romance, proclamations of undying love, and happy ever afters. But that wasn't how the real world worked. People married and were miserable for the rest of their days. Well, most of them, he supposed, thinking of Christiana and Suzette's happy marriages to Richard and Daniel. Of course, both couples had only been together for a couple of years. There was still plenty of time for the misery to settle in. He was sure even his father and mother must have enjoyed a year or two of happiness at the start.
Sighing, he shifted on his side in bed, wincing as his chest gave a twinge of pain. He'd not been any more concerned with it tonight than he had been the first night or in the stables. The damned thing was never going to heal if he wasn't more careful. But he didn't really care about that when he had Lisa shivering and shaking in his arms, her nails biting into his skin and her pleas ringing in his ear. There was no way he would ever again think of her as a little sister. Robert couldn't believe that he ever had. The woman was as passionate as he, meeting him thrust for thrust and demanding more. He would claim her for his own. Robert was determined. He just needed to figure out how.
Lisa turned over in her bed and peered toward the window as she heard her sister and brother-in-law's bedroom door close and silence return to the house. She'd woken up and slipped back to her room only moments before they'd returned. Just in time, she thought and almost sighed aloud with something like disappointment. If she'd been caught, she would have had to marry Robert. He would have seen to it. And the thought was a tempting one. Enjoying such pleasure every night? Who would not be tempted?
"You cannot marry Findlay. He could never make you feel like this. "
Robert's words from earlier rang through her head and she turned restlessly onto her back. The words just continued to repeat through her mind though. And she wondered . . . Could he? Could anyone? Surely Robert wasn't the only one in the world who could kiss and touch her in a way that roused her passions? The thought was a depressing one. While she didn't think she could live with his waiting for her to cheat on him, she was also beginning to think she couldn't live a celibate life in the country either. The man had brought her body to life and she didn't think it would easily or quickly forget the pleasures it had learned and enjoyed. She didn't even want to.
Surely, someone could make her feel at least some of this
passion?
A quiet life with a man she liked, whose company she enjoyed and who could make her feel even half the passion she'd experienced so far sounded far preferable to the alternatives. And she liked Charles Findlay. She enjoyed dancing and chatting with him, had really enjoyed reading with him, the race and . . . well, she liked him. True, his first kiss had barely stirred her passions and had left her wanting. And yes, the second kiss had been painful, but that was her fault. She'd asked him to kiss her punishingly and that's exactly what he'd done. How was she supposed to know that Robert's kisses hadn't been punishing at all?
Perhaps if she asked Charles to kiss her passionately rather than punishingly it would make a difference, she thought. It was worth a try.
Of course, he might not be willing to marry her once she confessed that she had been with Robert. And she would have to confess, Lisa thought unhappily. She couldn't live with such a secret. Her conscience would kill her. But even if he turned from her then, at least if he kissed her and managed to stir her passion she would know that Robert was not the only man in the world who could do so.
Obviously, all this depended on her not being with child. But then Suzette and Christiana had been married for two years and she knew darned right well from their talk that they were enjoying their marriage bed often and well. Yet neither of them were with child. Okay, Christiana had been once, but she'd miscarried. So perhaps the females in her line didn't easily get pregnant and that would not be a worry.
The thought gave her hope. Ruined by itself was definitely better than ruined and with child.
Lisa turned onto her side again and stared at the window as she contemplated what she should do. She would ask Charles to kiss her passionately. If that worked out all right and he did ask her to marry him, she would tell him about Robert and see how he reacted, and then . . . She supposed the "and then" would depend on how he reacted.
It wasn't much, but it was the first bit of hope Lisa had felt in days. She might not be able to have the kind of marriage her sisters enjoyed, but then again she might. After all, neither Suzette nor Christiana had known their husbands for years before marrying them. Actually, they'd both only known them for a matter of days. There was still hope for her without Robert. She just had to keep her spirits up and resist the temptation he offered in the meantime. It was the temptation that was her biggest worry. All the man had to do was touch her and her resistance crumbled like a house of cards. It was pathetic really, when she thought about it. She'd been raised better than that. But so long as he was guarding her, she very much feared -
Lisa sat up in bed abruptly. As long as he was guarding her . . . That was the problem. Richard and Daniel had arranged things so that he would have to guard her in the hopes that he would admit he loved her and give up this ridiculous idea about a curse on the Langley men. But Christiana wasn't with child, and the women knew about the suitor. There was no longer any excuse not to hire a proper bodyguard to trail her around rather than Robert. And doing that would remove temptation for her.
"Damn," Lisa muttered, dropping back in bed. She should have thought of this before. She would talk to Richard about it tomorrow. With any luck, Robert and his temptation would be out of the house by tomorrow afternoon.
"Oh, it's you. "
Robert stopped his pacing of Richard's office and turned at that comment to find the man standing in the open office door.
"I heard someone in the hall upstairs and got up to investigate, but by the time I pulled on my trousers the hall was empty, so I thought to check the rest of the house," Richard explained, moving into the room and pushing the door closed behind him.
"I couldn't sleep," Robert muttered, turning away to pace to the fireplace again.
"How is the wound?" Richard asked, moving to the sideboard to pour himself a whiskey.
"Healing," he answered without interest. It wasn't his sliced chest that was bothering him. It was Lisa's refusal to marry him. He couldn't believe she'd rejected the proposal out of hand. For God's sake, she'd trailed him around like a puppy for most of their lives, following him with adoring eyes. And she'd slept with him, for pity's sake. She'd let him do things that no man but a husband should do. She could be carrying their child! And yet she refused to marry him? He would never understand women.
"So what has you up and pacing?" Richard asked, settling in one of the chairs before the fire and eyeing him curiously.
"Explain women to me," Robert demanded rather than answer. Richard raised his eyebrows and lowered the glass he'd just raised to his lips. "Any woman in particular?"
"Lisa," he growled.
Richard nodded solemnly. "What would you like me to explain about her?"
"I asked her to marry me," he admitted after a brief struggle, and then added, "Several times. "
Richard didn't gasp in shock. He didn't even appear surprised, just asked, "And why did you do that?"
Robert turned away, unwilling to reveal the events that had led to the proposal.
"I thought you had no desire to marry?" Richard prodded. "That any woman you were foolish enough to shackle yourself to would surely be unfaithful and make your life a misery. "
Robert grunted with a nod.
"So why ask Lisa to marry you?"
He scowled into the cold, blackened logs in the unlit fireplace and shook his head, unwilling to explain.
After a moment, Richard said, "Perhaps she refuses because she doesn't want to be painted an adulteress when she hasn't earned it. "
Robert glanced around with surprise at those words. "What?" Richard shrugged. "Trust is a part of love and necessary for a good marriage, Robert. I have to trust Christiana every day in many small and large ways and she me. If we didn't have that trust, our marriage could never survive the trials and tribulations of daily life. "
He took a sip of his whiskey and then added, "And it is the same for Daniel and Suzette. Trust is important in a marriage. Lisa knows that. But you aren't offering it to her with your proposal. " "I trust her . . . mostly," he added uncomfortably.
"Mostly isn't enough," Richard said quietly. "And I suspect if you can't offer her your full trust, you will never win her. " Robert turned back to the fireplace with a frown.
Several moments of silence passed and then Richard asked, "Do you think I should trust Christiana as I do?"
"Of course," he said without having to think about it. "And can Daniel trust Suzette?"
"Again yes," he said at once. "Neither of them have a deceptive bone in their body. "
"Well I wouldn't go that far," Richard said with amusement, and then quickly added, "But my question is, why then do you not trust Lisa? She is their sister. Raised by the same parents with the same values. Why is she untrustworthy when her sisters are not?"
"I do trust Lisa," he said with a frown.
"Not if you think she would be unfaithful," Richard said firmly. "That is different. It wouldn't be - it's not that I think she - it's - "
"The curse?" Richard suggested when Robert paused again. "Yes," he said on a sigh and the other man shook his head. "You do not even recognize how irrational that sounds, do you? Your father pounded that ingrained belief so firmly into your head, you cannot see that it was just the rantings of a bitter old man. " "They weren't rantings," Robert said quietly. "My mother was unfaithful. "
"Has it occurred to you that he may have driven her to it with his beliefs and suspicions?" Richard suggested quietly. "I suspect your father was raised by his own father on the same milk of hate and mistrust for women as he tried to instill in you. I think had you not been such good friends with the Madison sisters, you would have grown up a woman hater like him. "
Robert frowned. "He didn't hate women. "
"Really?" Richard asked with a disbelieving laugh. "Give one example of a good or kind thing he ever said about women. Because I met your father a time or two over the years when I was younger and it seemed to me he was a
bitter, nasty woman hater. "
Richard downed his drink then and stood up. "I am going back to bed to cuddle up to my wife. You should get some rest too. You are still healing. "
Robert merely nodded. His thoughts were now on his father as he sought for even one good thing the man had ever said about any woman. The only thing he could come up with was that Cook made damned fine pasties. Sadly, he'd followed that up with the comment that it was too bad she wasn't a man.
Frowning, he moved to the chair Richard had just vacated and settled into it, his mind going back over his childhood and his parent's interactions. What he recalled were a lot of fights and yelling, usually every time his mother came back from visiting one or another of their boarders or had tea with a friend. Which was almost daily. He recalled his father shouting accusations and his mother responding with frustration and despair. He hadn't understood at the time, but supposed now that his father had been accusing her of meeting a lover or being unfaithful. And since Robert had usually been with her on those visits and knew she hadn't been . . . well, all those battles had been for naught. They'd been nothing more than paranoia and false accusations against a woman who hadn't deserved them.
It must have been unbearable for her, Robert thought with a frown. How had he never seen this before? Somehow as a young man he had ended up taking his father's side in everything, sure he was right and she was nothing more than a faithless whore. And, yes, in the end she had turned to another man. But was it possible his father had driven her into the arms and succor of another man with years of what really amounted to abuse? To give her credit, the only affair Robert was even sure his mother ever had was the one with Gower and that had not started until his parents had begun to live apart.
This was casting an entirely new light on his parents . . . not to mention his beliefs in the supposed curse on the Langley men. It was possible it was nothing more than a case of believing it would happen bringing it about. Had Lisa consented to marry him, would he have driven her to leave him and take up with another for comfort?
"Jesus," he muttered.
