He had offered to leave. But if the Chiasma were searching for him, if whoever had killed the Irwings had been looking for him, that wouldn’t be enough to protect Dalath. I might need to hand him over to the King’s Council.
I had sworn I would stand between Noctis and the innocent people living here. But could I sacrifice him to keep them safe? Even if it wasn’t he who was the threat? If he had changed, if he wanted to help me heal the damage he—we—had caused in the world?
Fuck duty.Briseis’s fierce voice echoed through my mind.
I would not do what I should do. I would not betray him again. Blessed Light save me, I could not bear the thought of losing him once more. I was going to give in. I could feel it. And this time I was falling with my eyes wide open.
A dark shadow landed in front of me with a hiss. The chickens exploded into an agitated frenzy of flying feathers and panicked cackling.
“Bane!” I exclaimed, diving into the chaos to catch the tomcat. “I told you to leave the chickens alone!”
I stepped out of the henhouse a while later with a mildlyremorseful cat in one arm and a basket of eggs in the other. Entering the farmhouse, I froze. Noctis was awake. Very much so. He was moving around my kitchen, clad in nothing but his black breeches. The strenuous work on the farm had done him good, I could not help but notice, his lean muscles tensing up enticingly as he stretched to get a milk bottle from its place in the cupboard.
“You’re awake.”
Fuck, I sounded like a breathless, overwhelmed maiden. It made me blush, suddenly embarrassed that I had caught him in a state of undress. Which was completely ridiculous, considering I’d seen him naked more times than I could count—and besides, this wasmyfucking house.
A mischievous glint lit up Noctis’s eyes as he turned toward me, a small smirk playing on his lips. Apprehension flashed through me. Curse the man and his ability to catch on to my every weakness. And the fact that he was ruthlessly exploiting them all.
“Good morning,” he said cheerfully, his good mood obviously returned. “Forgive me. I slept in.”
He lifted the milk bottle to his lips, drinking straight from it. Offering me a full view of all that pale skin on display, of the vulnerable slope of his throat as he swallowed. Did the impossible man really think that would affect me?
The sad, sad truth was that it certainly did. I did not know how long I stood motionless until Bane’s mews pulled me out of my stupor. My eyes roamed over Noctis’s body, taking in the still-angry red scar on his right side and bypassing the black markings of his tattoo on the left, because I could not deal withthatnow. I lingered on the trail of dark hair that led down from his navel, emphasizing the firm hardness of his stomach before vanishing into the top of his breeches.
Sudden need pulsed through me. So violent that it took all myremaining willpower to not make a sound. What would he say if I sauntered over there, brazenly met his eyes, and dropped to my knees? If I hooked my fingers underneath his breeches and slowly dragged them down? If I bent forward to take him deep into my mouth? It would earn me a very satisfying“Please,”I was sure. He had always liked it when I went down on him.
Why was it a terrible idea to fuck the former God of Chaos on my kitchen table? I struggled to remember. Perhaps because he was also my former lover, and I knew how badly it had ended. How I had needed years to get over him, if I ever got over him at all. The realization sobered me up.
“We own glasses, you know,” I snapped, depositing a squirming Bane on the floor and the basket of eggs on the kitchen counter, trying to hide my fluster.
“Of course.” Noctis smiled as he put down the milk, easily seeing through my pretense. “Should we make breakfast?”
This had become a well-orchestrated, complicated dance, performed every morning. The two of us whizzing around the kitchen and the dining table, close but never touching, Noctis compensating for my hurting wrist without me needing to point out where I needed help. Only this morning, he was far too close, brushing against me at every opportunity, his body heat a constant reminder of his scant clothing. When he stepped up behind me to put the heavy pan on the stove—so considerate, wasn’t he?—I snapped.
“Can’t you put on some clothes?” I waved at his naked torso, eyes narrowed. “A shirt or a tunic?”
His lip twitched, but he kept his gaze on the pan as he added butter. “Am I making you nervous?”
“No.” I cracked one egg after the other on the rim of the pot in front of me, the sounds punctuating the finality of my statement. “But I would appreciate it if you stopped acting like you have seen me naked.”
For this strange cohabitation to work, I had to set some ground rules. We might not be enemies anymore, but we were far from anything else. Because I knew better these days, whatever Briseis said.
“But I have seen you naked.” Noctis smiled smugly, taking the pot from me and scrambling the eggs. “The memories of your glorious breasts have helped me through many lonely nights.”
Ah yes, the story of his decades-long chastity I was not sure I believed. The story I didn’twantto believe—because, like the markings on his body, it would force me to acknowledge a truth I wasn’t ready for.
“Well, hold on to those memories.” I placed two tomatoes, an onion, and a bright red pepper on a plate before sliding a large knife out of the block. “As I told you, it will never happen again.”
I chopped the vegetables aggressively. Noctis’s smile didn’t waver at my harsh words or the way I brandished the blade. But then, the sight of me with a weapon probably heated his blood. His hands were very warm as he took the knife from me and cut the vegetables twice as fast. I fought the urge to step away; I wouldn’t back down in my own kitchen.
A low sizzle. Then a mouthwatering scent filled the air as he put the vegetable slices into the pan. “Is that so?” he said mildly, adding the eggs. “I could have sworn you were caught up in some naughty fantasy when you came in earlier.”
Oh, that arrogant…
The familiar temptation to do something reckless, to needle him a little, to tease back where I should not, rose like a storm within me.
“Mmm.” I slid between Noctis and the stove, the heat of his body overwhelming. “You know I have a taste for certain activities in the morning.” I glanced down between us, smiling at the visible proof ofmy effect on him. “There are some memories that helpedmethrough a lot of lonely nights.” And then I slowly licked my lips.
