“When did you get that?” I asked hesitantly.
“Shortly after my sentencing. From an Aerieth soothsayer in Triannon.” He shivered as my touch hovered dangerously close to his nipple, but his eyes remained closed. I didn’t pry, though my curiosity deepened. Why had he chosen to etch a permanent reminder of me into his skin? And why then, when the wound of my betrayal was still raw? When he should have hated me as much as, if not more than, the rest of the Ten?
But then, why had I left Lyrheim to hide in the middle of nowhere? Why did I try to erase my past and pretend to be a simple mortal? Why had I grown used to brewing myself a cup of that dreadful tea he loved so much during all those lonely nights, longing for even the slightest memory of him?
Because I couldn’t forget, no matter how foolish and illogical it was. And it seemed neither could he.
I reached over and traced the angry red lines of Noctis’s scar, a brutal reminder of the stormy night that had brought him back into my life; the raised, rough texture was a stark contrast to the smoothskin around it. “How did this really happen? How did Tharion find you after all those years?”
I couldn’t let him keep his secrets any longer. The Chiasma and Galator becoming active again just as he appeared couldn’t be a coincidence. He knew what they were up to.
“Baradaz…” Noctis’s eyes fluttered open, his expression conflicted.
“No,” I said, silencing him with a finger to his lips. I couldn’t bear hearing any more lies and subterfuge. “Don’t try to distract me. I want the truth.”
His gaze locked with mine, his breath a whisper against my skin.
“Do you remember that little fantasy we used to have? Back when we were in your cave?” he murmured. “That we would leave it all behind, just you and me?”
Yes, I remembered. It was after Aramaz had pardoned him following the first war with Chaos, when he had tasted freedom again following two ages of imprisonment. When I had let him poison my thoughts against everyone else, my weakness leading to a catastrophe.
“It doesn’t have to be a pretense. Not anymore. We finally have a chance to be together.” Noctis’s voice was imploring, almost desperate.
But those were never his true desires. He’d always dreamed of ruling Aron-Lyr, using my affection to keep me at his side. A pawn. Necessary to fulfill his ambitions.
My hand fell away from his skin. “Because every woman loves to be the last resort when all else fails. You said it yourself. You had nowhere else to go. That’s why you came here. You nearly got yourself killed, and no one else was foolish enough to take you in.”
“No, that’s not…” Noctis tried to rise, but I firmly pressed him back down, resolutely drying his hair with the towel. He frowned up at me as I finished and grabbed the scissors. He must be getting nervous, with me holding a sharp object close to his neck in this mood. “I knew for some time where you were,” he said. “I picked up that Air stone from the same soothsayer who gave me the tattoo.”
“That’s awfully convenient.” The snipping of the scissors echoed the furious rhythm of my heart. Black strands floated to the floor.
Noctis snorted. “I suspect dear Enlial had something to do with it. That overgrown bird could never keep their beak out of other people’s business.”
I filed that information away for later. Considering my last conversation with the enigmatic Aurea of Air, this tidbit was very interesting.
Noctis sighed. “To be honest, the only reason I didn’t come here before was that I wasnotsure you wouldn’t impale me on sight.”
Wonderful. Even he was surprised by the extent of my persisting weakness for him.
“Do you honestly expect me to believe that you are content to stay here on my farm with me?” I threw at him, my irritation rising. “That you won’t exploit any surge in Chaos magic for your own gain?”
“Do you honestly expectmeto believe that you won’t be through that door attempting to save the world like a bloody hero if that happens?” Noctis’s tone was as harsh as mine.
His condescension when talking about helping anyone but himself was frustratingly familiar. I gave his hair a final snip and scoffed in angry disbelief, the scissors still clenched in my hand. “So that’s it? As soon as there’s another conflict, we’re adversaries again? How do you think this is going to work?”
My words made something in him snap, dark eyes blazing up at me as he leaned his head back to meet my gaze. “I am not your enemy, Baradaz.”
I leaned over him in answer, not averting my eyes for a second.One quick shift of my grip on the scissors and the sharp point was gliding over the side of his neck, an open threat. He swallowed visibly.
“Is that so? Yet you are keeping so many secrets from me. Secrets that bring danger to me, the farm, and the people living here.” My voice caught as the truth of my words sank in. “Give me one single reason why I should trust you. Just one.” Part of me wanted him to dispel my doubts, wanted him to be the ally I so desperately needed. I was so alone. I had been alone for so long, and…
The stool screeched over the floor as Noctis moved abruptly, one sharp gesture sending my scissors clattering off over the tiles.
“You don’t understand,” he exclaimed. A wild light flickered in his eyes as he stood up and whirled around to me. He seized my arms and pulled me toward him. “I know I’ve been a fool for much too long. I know I have made so, so many mistakes. But there’s only one side for me anymore.”
He is too close,my mind screamed.
“Your side.”
