She tucked a colorless strand behind her ear to get the reminder away. “You don’t understand. It wasn’t my fault.”
“Youmurdereda guard.”
“I didn’t mean to. It happened so fast, there was nothing I could’ve done,” she defended.
“Nothing you could’ve done?” he hissed and turned away from her. “You could’ve doneanythingelse. You could’ve listened to me. You could’ve kept your head down. You could’ve done your duty, but youneverlisten to me. Now look. Are you proud of yourself?”
“Myduty?” Red seeped into the corners of her vision and a spark cut the air between them. “You have no idea what I’ve been through in the last few months. You have no idea what I’ve had to do to protect myself.”
“I know exactly what you’ve had to do to protect yourself.” He did an excellent job of appearing stoic but his anger vibrated off of him. “I never would’ve taught you to use a sword if I would’ve known you were going to use that knowledge to murder a guard. Do you even understand how dangerous of a position you’ve put us in? What they’ll do if they find out I’m the one who helped you? Training was supposed to give you confidence. Help you feel stronger so you would fit into your duties better knowing that you had strength somewhere. I thought if I taught you to fight you would make peace with that and fall into place, and you’dfinallybe safe. Now, we’re in more danger than we ever have been. Well,Iam at least.Trial Champion.”
His words cut her as though he struck her down with the sword at his hip.
“Adym.” Anger like she’d never known coursed through her veins. “Look at me.”
He refused.
“Look. At. Me.” Her hands balled into fists at her sides, nails digging into her palms.
He refused.
The rage that simmered turned to fury as it bubbled up and threatened to unleash itself. Her skin hummed as the current inside her roared to life and she fought it back, forcing it down with intentional breaths. She couldn’t lose control now. Not when so many innocent lives were around.
“I never intended for this to happen.”
“You never intend for anything to happen. You don’t know your place, that’s the problem. I know mine. Everyone knows theirs. It’s the way things are.Youdon’t seem to understand that,” he lashed out. “You murdered a two-star. You know they questioned me after it happened? They’re tearing through the guard looking for who could’ve taught you to use a sword. You’re even putting my life at riskright now.”
“Your life is always in danger. Safe isn’t for servants. Our lives arealwaysat risk as long as we live in the empire,” she countered, chest heaving.
“No.Yourlife is. Because you never stop. Youneverknow when enough is enough. What could’ve possibly made you decide to make the pledge?” he asked, voice heavy with anger and regret.
“What was I supposed to do, let them kill me?” she demanded.
“You should’ve never been in that trial in the first place.”
“You act like I asked for this.”
His jaw tensed. “Maybe you did.”
“How can you even say that?” Tears stung her eyes but she held them back.
“How can you denyanypersonal responsibility?” he snapped.
“Because this isn’t right!” It was as though her heart was being clawed to pieces. “None of this is right! How can you possibly think it is?”
“It’s not about right, it’s about what is.”
She looked at her brother. Armor glinting against the firelight that proudly displayed the Eltorian crest. The king’s color fell down his shoulder with great care and every inch of metal was polished to the point of new. She felt as though she were seeing him for the first time and it broke her heart. It was so hard not to see the juvenile she’d grown up with. The boy that would run with her and catch frogs and snakes was long gone. Now she saw the man that had grown in his place. When had the boy become a soldier? How had she missed that?
“When did you grow up?” Everything in her heart begged for this not to be happening.
“Why didn’t you?” he asked flatly.
She couldn’t take it anymore. Without another word she fled into the crowd, the care she took before gone as she shoved her way through. She had to get away from him.
How could he blame her?
She didn’t ask for this.
