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I saw the blood before the body.
“Fuck,” Vike spat. Bird’s hacked-up body lay lifeless on the floor. I ducked down and felt the blood—it was still warm. My heart kicked into a sprint. “He’s only been dead a couple of hours max.” I got to my feet. “Fuck!” I screamed, hands on my head. “Dev!”
I flew to the truck and pulled out of the driveway fast as I could. I broke every speed limit along the way. I tried to get Tina on her cell. No fucking answer. “Dev, don’t have done something fucking stupid,” I said to thin air.”
An hour later I pulled into the driveway to see a truck there . . . Bird’s truck. The blood rushed from my face when I saw the back door was open. There was no sound at all. There were no neighbors for miles. Right now, there was just me and whatever lay in this house.
My stomach rolled when I saw Tina’s SUV in the driveway, Zane’s car seat in the back. “No,” I whispered. I pushed through the door.
My feet were light as I crept through the small farmhouse, searching every corner. I stopped dead in the doorway to the kitchen. A trail of blood, fresh blood, snaked along the floor.
My legs shook, but I forced them to keep going, to step into the room. A sound ripped from my throat when I saw Tina on the floor. Tina’s lifeless body, slashed at the neck and wrists, stab wounds though her heart. Bile climbed up my throat as her dead eyes stared up at me, her face frozen in an expression of shock. Tina . . . fucking Tina. My sister . . . my second mother.
No . . .
Panic took over . . . Zane. I shot through the house, searching everywhere I could think of. The final place to look was their bedroom. The door was shut. My heart pounded so hard it was all I could hear as I turned the knob and slowly opened the door. I saw blood again. Blood from beside the bed. I walked around, bracing myself for what I might find. The gargled sound of choking on blood hit my ears. I flew around the rest of the bed. Dev was slumped against the side of the bed. His blood poured from the gashes that sliced across his wrist and throat. I dove down and took him in my arms. “Dev! No!” The blood kept coming and I couldn’t fucking stop it.
“Dev!” I called out, sobs racking my chest. “What have you done?”
“Safe,” he managed to push from his throat. “Safe . . .” I clenched my eyes shut. “No!” I rocked him in my arms. “Don’t leave me,” I begged as his eyes began to glaze over. “Dev! Don’t you fucking dare leave me!” But he began to still in my arms. His blood was everywhere, on my hands, on the floor. “Dev? Where’s Zane?” I asked as his body started fitting. I held him closer and counted the seconds until he grew still.
Thirty-two seconds.
Tears fell down from my cheeks and mixed with the blood on my hands. “Dev,” I whispered, rocking him back and forth. My chest was caved in, my heart ripped from it. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t fucking breathe!
“Shit,” a voice said from the doorway. I turned my head, not letting my brother go. Vike and Flame stood there, staring at the blood. “Brother,” Vike said in a hushed voice, the fucker serious for once.
“He killed her. He killed himself. He thought he was still there. That they were gonna come for him again . . .” I squeezed more water from my eyes. “I think he thought he was saving her, saving himself. He wouldn’t . . . he’s not a murderer . . .” I glanced down at his dark eyes. “He’s my fucking brother . . .
. . . He’s my fucking hero . . .”
“No,” Phebe whispered as she rocked me in her arms. “AK, no . . .” she said again and I knew she was crying too. She wiped my tears, kissed my skin as she held me close to her chest. “Zane?” she asked. “Where was Zane?”
“His Aunt Claire’s. She had taken him for the afternoon.” I blinked and looked into Phebe’s blue gaze. “If he had been there . . . he would have killed him too, Phebe. He would have. His own kid.”
“And where is he now?” She looked at the picture of his young face still in my hand.
“I don’t know.”
“Why?”
“Claire banned me from seeing him. She moved away. He . . . he didn’t even go to his own daddy’s funeral. Claire and Tom buried Tina separately, calling my brother a murderer. I buried Dev alone, only Vike and Flame beside me. He didn’t even get a military service.” I rolled onto my back and tried to breathe. “That kid was my whole fucking life, and I ain’t seen him in years.” I looked at the picture of us all on my graduation from the Marines and didn’t even recognize those people anymore. I didn’t recognize me. “He’d be fifteen now.” I ran my hand over Zane’s face. “And I don’t fucking know him. I never will.”
“AK.” Phebe laid her head on my shoulder. “I have no words to say to you. I do not know how to be of help.”
I felt her in my arms. “You are, just by being here,” I said. “You help because you understand. No other person has ever understood me like you do.” I held her close. “You understand me, and I get you.”
Silence stretched as I stared at the ceiling, completely drained. “AK?” Phebe’s sleepy voice finally asked.
“Yeah?”
“Are they still there?”
I tensed and looked at the end of the bed. I knew what she meant. The terrors. I braced myself for seeing those fucked-up faces . . . but then I exhaled a long, long breath. “No,” I said hoarsely, seeing only the darkness of the night. “They’ve gone,” I said, a sudden lightness creeping to my heavy heart. “They’ve gone.”
“Mm,” she murmured and rubbed her cheek against my chest. “That is because you are not to blame either.”
I glanced down at Phebe’s red hair and took in her words. You are not to blame either . . .
I didn’t remember falling asleep, but that night I slept. For more than two fucking hours.
And I didn’t dream at all.
Chapter Sixteen
AK
“Hello,” Phebe said as I opened my eyes. She was still lying beside me where we had fallen asleep last night. My eyes felt like they’d taken one hell of a beating. My throat was raw, and I was exhausted.
“Hey.” I glanced down to see her hand still in mine. I flinched when I stared directly at a ray of light coming through the crack between the curtain and the window. “It’s morning?” I ran my hand over my bare chest. I must have taken my shirt off in the night.
“It is afternoon.” She smiled. “We slept the entire morning and night.” Her smile left her lips, and she lifted her free hand and ran it down my face. “How are you feeling?”
“Rough,” I said. Phebe was looking at me, clearly wanting me to say more. I stretched out my neck and thought of last night. Of everything I had confided. I waited for the usual tight chest. The shame and the guilt. And it was there. I was sure it would never go away. But today it was . . . less. “Better,” I said and meant it. “A little better.”
Her eyes softened. “Good.” She kissed my hand again. “I have been thinking while you slept.”
“Yeah?”
She nodded. “I think . . . I think we were meant to find each other, AK. I think we were meant to find each other, to leave hell together.” I didn’t reply. I had no words. “I think that no solution is quick, and no remedy will magically make our pain drift away. I believe that we must go through this pain we are feeling in order to move on. And I believe whatever God or greater power exists above us brought us together so we may heal together. Heal the other in a way that no other person ever could.” Her eyes dipped, and a fuck-off blush coated her freckled cheeks. “At least that is what I have been considering.” She laughed a single laugh. “But that could be me just being silly.”
“No.” I put my hand under her chin. I lifted her face, waiting until those shy eyes were back on me. “I think you’re right, Red. I think you could be fucking right.” A beaming smile lit up her face. “What?”
“Red,” she said with a sigh. “I like it when you call me Red.”
“Yeah?”
