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Running my hand down his stubbled cheek, I asked, “Is he . . .?”
“It’s been taken care of,” Tanner said and then pressed his lips to mine. I kissed him back, savoring his taste and the feel of him.
When he broke away, I ignored the trembling of my lip and whispered, “You can never come back.” My hand shook as I ran my fingers over his shaved head. “If Diego ever finds out you killed Vincente . . .” I trailed off, not even wanting to say those words aloud, fearful that if I let them out into the universe it could somehow make them come true.
Tanner looked away. “I killed him for us. He was going to say something. I had to protect you.”
“I’m not mad.” I placed my hands on his face and turned him so I could meet his eyes. “He was going to kill you.” I swallowed back the lump blocking my throat. Words I had to say didn’t want to leave my mouth, but they had to be said. We were on a countdown now. Tanner was leaving soon . . . and he could never return. “Mi amor,” I half whispered, the endearment feeling so right as I addressed it to this man. Tanner’s eyes melted from worry to sadness. His hands tightened on my waist, holding on, like he never wanted to let go.
“We can never be,” I whispered. I was sure I felt my heart break into a million pieces. Tanner shook his head, ready to argue, but I placed my finger on his lips—lips that had once uttered derogatory words. Lips I now had come to adore . . . no, need. As much as I needed air in my lungs. “Please don’t,” I urged, feeling a tear slip from the corner of my eye. I took a deep breath, then stated, “I love you, Tanner Ayers.” I laughed at the absurdity of our situation. I was cartel. He was Klan. A fish and a bird had more of a chance of living a happy life together than we did. Tanner sucked in a sharp breath and held me closer. I smiled even though I was breaking. “I hated you. Then wanted you . . . now I both love and need you. Completely.” My smile faded and a silent sob fell from my lips. “My prince. My love . . . my life.” I studied every part of his face. Committed his scent to memory. Branded invisible tattoos of his touch on my skin.
“I love you too,” Tanner rasped. In the silence, I was sure I could I hear my soul cry. Tanner’s hand trailed up my arm and rested on the side of my neck. “Fuck, Adelita . . . I love you. I need you.”
My forehead fell to his and we simply breathed. My body and mind were exhausted with the events of the day. But my spirit was worse—it had expired, knowing I would never have this man walking beside me in life.
“I’ll leave,” Tanner announced and pushed back my face only a fraction from his. I saw the promise in his gaze. My heart jumped from dormant to a sprint in mere seconds. “I’ll leave the Klan.”
“Tanner . . .”
“It’s wrong. I know it now.” I opened my mouth to argue, but he kissed me, silencing me. “I’m done. I’m done with it all. My father. The fucking misery of living in that life.” Tanner’s eyes shone and the sight was my undoing. I stayed his unfallen tears with a kiss on each of his eyes. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to straddle his lap. “I want you, Adelita Quintana.” His voice was thick yet certain. “I want you. Nothing else matters.”
I couldn’t read the expression on Tanner’s face. I knew this side of Tanner by now. He had something to say; he just needed time to get the words out. Pressing his lips to mine, he rolled me over until he was above me. His kiss was slow and soft and unhurried. I let him take the lead. He kissed along my neck and down to my chest. My hands slipped along his shaved head, just before he sat up. Tanner held out his hand and I took it. He wordlessly guided me up. He sat back on his haunches and tore off a strip of material from his white shirt.
I didn’t know what he was doing. But when he reached for my left hand and brought it to his mouth. When he singled out my ring finger and placed the softest of kisses on my skin, my heart began to flutter. “Lita,” Tanner said and took the small strip of white cotton he was holding in his hand. He slipped it around my finger, then tied the edges until the scrap of cotton made a ring. My hands were shaking. I brought my eyes to meet his.
Tanner’s cheeks were flushed. “Adelita . . .” he rasped. “Marry me.” My eyes widened as the words I’d so wished for spilled from his lips.
“Tanner,” I whispered and stared down at the white cotton. Not gold nor a diamond, yet the most precious thing I’d ever seen. I lived a life of luxury. Yet this torn piece of cotton had made me the happiest I’d ever been in my life.
“I’ll find a way,” he promised and held my hand again, running his thumb over the makeshift ring. “I’ll find a way for us to be together.” My entire body felt light and racked with shivers that his promise inspired. He kissed my hand again. “I don’t know how I’ll do it. But I’ll find a way for us to be together. I’ll get out of the Klan. I’ll make it safe for us to live.” He breathed in deeply. “I’ll take you away where it’s just us.”
Tanner held his breath as he looked at me from under his eyelashes. He was nervous, I realized. Nervous I’d say no. It made my heart swell to see such a formidable man so anxious for my reply.
I didn’t make him wait long. I edged closer to Tanner, and whispered, “Yes.” Tanner’s hand squeezed mine in response. “Yes . . . I will marry you. Someday. Somehow. No matter how impossible, we’ll find a way to be together.”
Tanner pulled me in and crushed his mouth to mine. He lowered us down onto the bed and slipped off my nightgown. Slowly, I rid him of his clothes until we were both naked under the comforter on my bed. He never let go of my left hand as he pushed inside me. As he rocked back and forth, lovingly and slowly, kissing me on my lips, my face and my throat. I was consumed by the White Prince. I was so deeply, madly in love with him that I wasn’t sure how I could let him go when morning broke.
“Love you . . .” Tanner whispered in my ear when his pace increased and he tucked his head into my neck. His breath caused shivers to ghost down my spine as it bathed my skin in protective warmth. His fingers curled around mine as our breathing became labored and we fell over the edge of pleasure.
Tanner lay on top of me and I embraced his warmth. I ran lazy strokes on his back with my hand, staring at the cotton around my finger each time it came into sight. I didn’t know how long we lay this way, but when the first rays of the morning sun came peeking through my windows, my heart sank. Our time together was finite; Tanner would have to go back to his rooms to ensure he wasn’t discovered.
I faced Tanner on the bed. He had yet to release my hand. My hand stood in stark contrast to his. For something he once found so repulsive, I couldn’t help but think that our hands, clasped together, and full of promises, now looked nothing short of perfect. “You gotta wait for me,” Tanner whispered. His voice was graveled, betraying the emotion he was feeling—that we both were. “I need time to get out. To plan. To figure out a way for us to be together.”
“I will wait,” I promised.
Tanner breathed out. “No matter how long it takes. Don’t give up waiting. Promise me. It won’t be quick.”
“I promise.” Tanner’s shoulders relaxed. I glanced down at the makeshift ring and wanted to give Tanner something from me in return. Something for him to hold onto when all seemed lost and hope was a distant star. Reaching for the clasp, I brought my golden cross necklace between us. Taking his hand, I dropped the cross in his palm and said, “I want you to have it, mi amor. I want you to keep it. Think of me. Even when you doubt how much I love you, look at this and know that I am thinking of you too. Missing you too.”
Tanner held the necklace in his palm. And we lay that way for the time we had left. I drank in the color of his eyes, his lips, and the small smile he gave me whenever I kissed his mouth. I would keep them all in my heart until the day I saw him again. When we would be free, able to live and love . . . and be happy . . .
Chapter Eight
Tanner
I rubbed my neck as I left Styx’s office. Brothers were everywhere, the lockdown in full effect. The visiting brothers took up in RVs and
tents outside. I passed by AK, Phebe, and Saffie, heading into AK’s room. Saffie was tucked into Phebe’s side, ignoring everyone around her. Little Ash and Zane brought up the rear, carrying their bags. As I approached Tank’s door, I saw Maddie and Flame disappearing into his room down the hallway. Brother was walking now, though he looked like he was still favoring his wounded side.
“Tann?” I turned and saw Tank approaching. He had some bags with him. He glanced to the door. “You going in to see her?”
“Yeah.” I stared at the wooden door. Nerves and anger were swirling in my gut. I felt that fucking golden cross she had given me burning my neck. “Give me some time,” I said to Tank. “Gotta talk to her then I’ll take her to my room.”
“You squared that away with Styx?”
Anger shot through me. She was my fucking woman. I shouldn’t have to square shit away. “She ain’t allowed out. She’s under room arrest. But I wouldn’t be bringing her out anyway. I trust our chapter, but not sure some of the other cunts here wouldn’t be gunning her way given half a chance.”
Tank’s hand came down on my shoulder. “I’ll take Beauty for a drink. Styx and Ky have just gone for Li and Mae. She’ll no doubt wanna help them when they get here. Being that they can hardly move they’re that pregnant.” Tank knocked on the door. Beauty opened it seconds later, putting her finger on her lips. She ducked out of the room.
“She’s asleep,” Beauty said quietly. My stomach turned. I wanted to see her. I wanted to see how she looked again when she was at peace. But then that fucking wedding dress popped in my head and a surge of fury pushed those thoughts away. Beauty put her hand on my arm. “She’s all cleaned up and I’ve given her food and clean clothes.”
