Her pajama pants are still stuck on her left calf. She looks ridiculous. It’s also the sexiest damn thing I’ve ever seen. Between her level of ‘don’t give a fuck’, her wavy morning hair and the wild green eyes peering at me over the rim of her cup, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything hotter.
“You gonna fix that?” I ask, pointing at her pajama pants, trying to think of anything other than what I’m thinking about. Things I can’t think about and not want to do while looking at her and thinking about them. But things I definitely can’t do with Sloan upstairs with an open door and walls that might as well be hanging sheets for all the privacy they offer.
“Nah. It did its own thing there; it can undo itself too.” She walks toward me, still cradling her mug in both hands, keeping it close to her mouth. Goddamn, I wish she’d take another sip and cover it. “I saw the guitar was moved. Did you get some writing in?”
I nod, giving my brain a moment to refocus. “Yeah, went out to the dock again. It was perfect out.”
“Can I hear what you wrote?”
“Soon. It’s not done yet.” I move past her to go refill my own cup. “What are your plans this morning?”
Her forehead crinkles. She can tell I’m intentionally moving the conversation away from my new song. A song I would love to play for her but can’t because it’s full of all the shit I want to say to her but can’t because she’s still too scared to hear it. So, we have to talk about something else. Something that pertains to only now. “Have any work stuff you need to get done?”
Gradually, she starts to move her head up and down. Even if she doesn’t understand why, she’s willing to roll with it. “I have a few things I need to jump on the computer and do. Won’t take me long. You?”
“I have a few calls to make.” All of them are related to my travel arrangements tomorrow and making sure we’re all set for our performance tomorrow night.
“Okay.” She sips her coffee, both of us just standing here, staring at each other. It’s the first awkward moment we’ve ever had between us.
“We’re much better when we’re telling each other uncomfortable truths than we are when we’re implying simple lies,” I point out.
“We’re not lying.”
“We’re not all in either.” I shake my head. “I’m going to go jump in the shower.” I press a kiss to the side of her head as I move by her. “I love you. But I hatethis.”
I can feel her wince at my side, but she stays silent as I walk away and go upstairs.
KENLEY
Sloan is up and about by the time Knox is showered, making it easy to shift back into a now that feels light without the weight of unspoken futures, the ones we fear as well as desire.
Despite how little time we’ve spent getting to know one another, navigating the present is simple. Natural even. Everyone gets ready for the day in their own time. Knox settles in the living area to make his calls, I take time at my computer to work while Sloan holes up in her room, doing school from her bed. She’s the last to get up and shower, but come lunchtime, we’re all gathered downstairs together to eat.
Lunch is simple today, made up of sandwiches prepared to the individual’s cravings and enjoyed while spread out over the small living room area. Knox and Sloan take up the sofa, while I settle on the floor, dogs lying around me in a circle, hoping I’ll share.
The dogs end up with more of my lunch than I do. Somehow, I’m finding it hard to keep an appetite long enough to put food in my system today.
“Whoa,” Sloan breaks up the quiet that comes when everyone is busy putting food in their mouths, “I just realized you’re not going to be here for lunch tomorrow.”
“That is correct.” Knox does his best to smile, as if even that is just business as usual. No big deal. “Tomorrow I’ll be eating lunch...somewhere else.”
“That’s going to be so weird.” She looks at me, like she’s expecting me to have some sort of reaction.
“No really.” I do my part to keep my face as neutral as possible. “It’s usually just you and me. It’ll just be normal.”
Her brow furrows. “It’s not going to be normal.It’s going to be weird.” She repeats more emphatically the second time around.
“It will be a little weird going back to the old normal,” Knox offers what I’m guessing he considers a compromise. “Andpersonally, I think it’s going to suck having lunch without you, but,” he holds up his hand, making a point, “we knew when I came to stay that I would have to leave, and even though I hate leaving, I am so glad I got to come and stay.”
Sloan grins, popping a grape in her mouth. “Me too.”
“Me three.” I mean it. No matter how this plays out, I’ll never be sorry I gave him my number, met him for pancakes, or brought him home. “Speaking of leaving, Sloan, we gotta get ready to go.”
She glances at the time on her phone and jumps up. “Crap. I still have to do my hair.”
“Leave your dishes, I’ll get them.” I wave my hand for her to get moving.
“You leave the dishes,” Knox says, winking at me as he starts to clear her plate. “I’ll get them. You go do what you gotta do to get you two out of here in time.”
