“Fate?” Cortsuggested.
But Bas shook his head. “They were there to celebrate my engagement. To Amy.” Cort blinked, and Bas elaborated. “Amy McMann, Drew’ssister.”
“Yeah, I know. Cam’s talked some about it. I’ve seenpictures.”
“Right.” Bas took a sip of hisbeer.
“Must’ve been hard for you,” Cort said slowly. “Losing your fiancée on top of everything. But what does that have to do with you being an asshole? You didn’t cause the crash,Seaver.”
“No. Nope. I didn’t. But if it hadn’t been for me getting engaged, they wouldn’t have been there. Drags at me, you know?” And maybe it always would, even though Drew didn’t hold himresponsible.
Cort cut him off with a shake of his head. “You and your brother. Seriously. Bunchamartyrs.”
“Pardon?”
“You know, the first night I met Cam, he told me he was guilty becausehewas supposed to be on that plane!” Cort said, almost amused. “Like if he’d been there, he could have psychically known the engine had been tamperedwith.”
“That’s stupid,” Bas said, stunned. “I had no idea he felt thatway.”
Cort shrugged. “I think it was mostly just some latent guilt. I think he knew it wasn’t reasonable even then. Whereas you seem to have convinced yourself that it’s totally reasonable.” He shook his head. “It was a tragedy, Bas. It wasmurder. It wasn’t your fault, even a little bit. If he hadn’t seen this opportunity and taken it, maybe he would have had Jack tamper with a car instead, and killed a bunch of innocent people on the road along with your parents. Or something else entirely.” He shook his head. “There’s noknowing.”
Bas stared moodily at the table. “That’s what Drew said,” headmitted.
“Yeah? Then why are you so determined to make this about you?” Cortwondered.
“I’m notdetermined. It just…” Bas blew out a breath and looked Cort in the eye. “I wasn’t in love withAmy.”
He wasn’t sure what he expected to happen. Maybe for Cort to narrow his eyes in judgement, maybe for flames to erupt… something dramatic andscary.
Instead, Cort just nodded sadly. “That sucks. Was she in love withyou?”
“I don’t think so, no,” Bas said. “We had things in common. Friends. Familyexpectations.”
“People get married for lots of reasons,” Cort said. “Bas, you didn’t cause the crash because you weren’t head-over-heels forher.”
Bas bit his lip. It sounded so ridiculous when Cort said it like that. “I know,” he said finally. “I do. But I still feel like I need to get justice, you know? Like I owe them that. Before I can do… anythingelse.”
“Anything else, like… fall in love?” Cort guessed, and Bas’s eyes flew up to find Cort watching him steadily. “Sebastian, you don’t owe anyone penance here,” he continuedquietly.
“Feels like Ido.”
Cort shook his head. “So, like I said, I used to think you were an arrogant, entitledasshole.”
“We’re back to that?” Bas rolled his eyes and sipped hisbeer.
“It was easier for me to think that, back when I thought Damon was dead and maybe you had paid someone to cause the crash and kill yourparents.”
Bas winced. He remembered when Cort had accused him of that a few months back. It wasn’t any easier to hear itnow.
“It’s easier to have someone to blame,” Cort continued. “No matter how illogical it was. But that doesn’t make it true. You need to get this idea out of your mind. The crash wasn’t your fault. Getting engaged to someone for practical reasons wasn’t wrong. And regretting the engagement… well, that’s not wrong either. Forgive yourself for being human, and moveon.”
Yeah. Maybe. But even if he could, he’d fucked up the only thing he most wanted to movetoward.
“I lost it at Drew’s today,” he told Cortinstead.
“I was there. But it was a very stressful day, in a stressful week, in a stressful year,” Cort said. “Tensions run high, and things spillover.”
“Maybe.” Bas played with his bottle for another minute, then looked cautiously at Cort before confessing, “Our argument wasn’t about Alexei, though. Notentirely.”
