Those are selfish thoughts, though, because I know my mom would blame herself. And I don’t want that. I want her to know that if I decided to do anything, it was never because of her, but the only reason I was able to stay around for so long was because of her and Dad’s love for me.
“Because we’re friends, and friends celebrate each other’s birthdays. Don’t worry, mine’s coming up next month and we’re throwing a huge pool party at my mom’s house. Hot dudes, for you of course, drinks, snacks. No drugs though, I don’t want that going on my record when I’m trying to get into med school.” She stands up, steepling her hands in front of her while she paces my room. Thank God my roommate isn’t here right now; he’s been strangely absent, but I’m not going to complain. I haven’t had to worry about encroaching on his territory because of the fact that Danielle has been here. I’m sure if he had gotten a whiff of a girl in here, he would be worse than a dog after a bone.
“That’s not what my birthday is going to be, so if you need to stay here and study, we can go out to dinner or something when I get back.” A part of me is scared to let her come home and see the real me. The weird kid who’s never fit in with anyone, no matter how hard he tries.
“No, no, no. No. Absolutely not, I’m going to go to my dorm and pack, and we’ll leave tonight.” I gawk at her.
“Tonight? It’s a three-hour drive and it’s already”—I check the clock on my nightstand—“five o’clock. By the time we get packed and leave, it will be closer to six. Then we won’t get there until nine.”
She whistles. “Wow, it looks like you’re good at counting. But you’re not good at negotiating. Pack your stuff, and after I get packed, we’ll run to the store to get snacks for the road trip.”
My phone starts ringing, and I know it’s my mom calling me back, wondering what the heck is going on and who could be in my dorm room when I haven’t told her that I made a friend. I’m not sure if I was trying to avoid getting her hopes up, or mine.
I answer my phone, holding the screen up to my ear while keeping my eyes on Danielle’s. “Hey, Mom, do you care if I bring someone home for the weekend?”
With my bags packed,we head out. I leave a note behind on the whiteboard on the door to our room sayinggone for the weekend -H.Not that my roommate cares, but in case anything happens, I don’t want them to think that I’m in the room.
Walking down the hallway, everyone’s doors are adorned with their names and different decorations. Sorority and fraternity letters, sports decals, stuff relevant to majors. It’s all so… inviting.
That’s what I need, I need to find things I have in common with other people. It should be easy.
“Make sure you pack comfortable clothes,” I tell Danielle when we walk out of the building, hit with the warm summer air. The sun is starting to lower, and pretty shades of red andorange are coloring the sky. Taking out my phone, I snap a quick picture, knowing that the picture won’t live up to truly experiencing it. But maybe the picture can hold the memory anyway.
“For what?”
“There’s a trail behind my house that leads to a small pond. It’s not too far of a walk, but the weeds are high and there’s chiggers.” The path that I used to walk after school to avoid going directly home and having to wait by myself in the silence until my parents got home. The pond is filled with fish, and I spent way too many hours watching them cut through the water while I read my book in the shade under the trees. In the colder months, I would prepare a blanket and a flashlight. The cold ground was brutal, but being caught out in the woods when the sun was setting was disorienting, no matter how many times I walked it. One wrong turn, and it feels like you’re transported into an alternate universe where every tree and blade of grass looks the same, and you can’t find your way out.
“Sounds cool.” Her phone buzzes in her pocket. “Ugh—hold on. It’s probably my group chat.” I nod, walking beside her while she types away.
“Do you care if we invite someone else? He’s cool.” My body tenses. Uncertainty warring with excitement inside of me.
“Uhm, who is it?” I grab her arm to pull her out of the way of other people on the sidewalk, mouthing sorry to them while her attention is still focused downward at her screen.
“My boyfriend,” she replies nonchalantly.
“Boyfriend? And he doesn’t care that you’re going home for the weekend with another guy?” I mean I’m not a threat… But that’s not the point. I’m still a guy, a guy she’s known for a week. And she hasn’t once mentioned a boyfriend.
“We’re not that kind of boyfriend-girlfriend. It’s more like…” She pauses, pursing her lips in concentration. “We’re friends,but we have to be together.” That makes absolutely no sense, but the pleading look on her face tells me she doesn’t want to talk about it, so I’m not going to push her. But now I have more questions than I do answers.
“Yeah, he can come. My parents won’t care.” In fact, I bet they’ll be ecstatic to know that I’m bringing people home.
“Heck yeah, you won’t regret this.”
After packing her bags, multiple because she would rather be overprepared rather than under, we make our way to her boyfriend’s dorm room.
My duffel is thrown on my shoulder, and I’m dragging a roller bag behind me with a smaller toiletry bag on top as Danielle fills me in on everything I should know about her boyfriend. Just so we can skip over the awkward first times.
I appreciate it more than she knows.
So far, all I know is that he’s 6’0”, rich, loves true crime and rock music, is studying business, and can be an asshole. Like what kind of description is that?
“You just have to get to know him first. I’m not sure how rude he’s going to be, but when he feels out of control, he gets a little crabby.” Let’s add control freak to the list as well.
“I’m sure it will all be fine.” Approaching the building, I have a minor freak out, trying to gulp in deep breaths and not outwardly show my panic. The last time I was here was embarrassing, and what would make this worse is running intohimagain.
I can’t blame him for how he acted, but I wish he could see that all I wanted to do was be helpful.
We get in the elevator, and Danielle presses the button for the third floor. Just a coincidence. It’sjusta coincidence.
