“I’m sure you are. I will be checking in from time to time, so please, Adam, answer the phone with a shred of respect next time.” The line clicks, and I bite my tongue hard enough to taste copper. I don’t feel the pain, though; all I can feel is the anger coursing through my veins.
I check the group chat, and the green icon flashes with red.
Brittany:We still on for tonight?
Danielle:I hope so, I’m missing my study session for this.
I roll my eyes because, as much as I adore Danielle, she is a bit overdramatic at times. Heaven forbid she misses studying one day to hang out with her friends.
Zoey:I’m down. I invited Hunter but I don’t think he’s going to come.
My chest tightens, and not in a bad way. In an… excited way. My face tries to break out in a smile, and I have to bite my lip to contain it. No, bad Adam, bad. I don’t care one way or another if Hunter comes. No matter how glad I am that he’s making friends.
Brittany:Zoey, we talked about this. You can’t keep inviting him to stuff.
Eyebrows furrowing, I skim the rest of the messages, ignoring the ones from Danielle trying to bring the attention back to the plans for tonight.
Zoey:I don’t see why I can’t invite him. I want to be his friend, I can’t help it that you and Adam don’t like him.
Brittany:I like Hunter just fine, but you know how Adam is.
Zoey:I don’t care how Adam is. I’m inviting Hunter, and I’ll keep inviting him until he says yes. I want him to be my friend.
Brittany:You just want to be his friend because he liked the rainbow pin you gave me.
Wait a damn minute.Idon’t like Hunter? When the fuck did I say that? I never did. Because it wouldn’t be true. Somethingabout him throws me off kilter, but not enough to dislike him, just enough to make me curious.
But a rainbow pin?
Adam:Rainbow pin?
Zoey:That’s what you’re focusing on, really Adam?
Brittany:*eye roll emoji*
Zoey:Never mind about tonight. Something came up. Have fun.
Brittany:I’m not coming either.
Wait. What the fuck did I do wrong?
Danielle:So, no dinner tonight?
5
HUNTER
The library is quiet, which is perfect and exactly what I need after the week I’ve had. The shelves provide a barrier from others, leaving me a space to claim as my own. I weave through them, letting myself get lost between the thousands of books. My main solace in the darkness of today. Books won’t judge me for running away. The books here will keep me company as I find my solitude and try to enjoy what is left of the day.
At the back of the hallway, and around the corner from the modern-day history textbooks, is a small alcove with a squishy, black bean bag chair. I found it on my first trip here after I got all moved into my dorm, and it’s been my safe haven ever since.
I left my phone in my dorm room in my haste to escape, but at least I have my favorite comfort read. Small blessings, and all that jazz.
The faded and torn cover on the paperback has seen better days, and I should probably invest in a new one. Yet, thinking of replacing this book with another makes nausea bubble in my throat. This novel has been through everything with me since my mom gave it to me as a present on my first day of high school.It’s not much, just a traditionally published paperback book that thousands of people have already read. But it’s the thought that went into it.
The cover has two guys on the front, in a sensual embrace. My mom said she bought it for the cover alone, to make me feel better about my sexuality. I loved the initiative, but my mom going to a bookstore to specifically find something for me makes me uncomfortable. I could just picture her standing there now, long brown hair neatly braided down her back, floor length boho skirt, and probably wearing a pride shirt, sayingI’m looking for something under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella for my son, specifically about two men, but I’m open to any options.Gah, I need to pull my brain out and scrub it clean so I can get that mental picture out. I love my parents and how supportive they are of me, but sometimes it’s like they go overboard. Not trying to love bomb me, but to make up for all the bullying I’ve dealt with from other kids and their parents over the years. But it’s fine, I’m over it now.
I think.
