Love gave a confident smile toward Tara, who raised a brow. Malcolm glanced at her, then at Zay. Everyone else twiddled their thumbs or scrolled on their phone with their heads down, trying to make the moment less awkward.
When Love took her seat, Zay broke the silence.
“I like how strong the lead character is,” he said calmly. “I see her growth. I can make it sound beautiful.”
No one spoke at first. Then, Love’s voice quietly and calmly replied.
“Thank you.”
The rest of the meeting played out like a rehearsal of strangers with script notes and technical specs. All eye contact remained avoided.
Everyone knew. Something deeper had unraveled beneath the words spat between the two earlier, and they wondered what conversation had been had when they exited the room.
As the team wrapped it up for the night, Zay lingered for a while. He watched Love carefully gather her belongings and stand up from the table. Everyone else grabbed their things and uttered goodbyes amongst each other, laughing and cracking jokes on the way out. Love walked out the door, trailing behind Tara, and Zay caught her before she could reach the elevator.
“Prin . . . I’m sorry. I meant, Love?”
She turned slowly and faced him with her expression blank. Tara looked at Love, then back to Zay.
“I’ll wait for you downstairs,” Tara said, giving Love a reassuring smile before turning and continuing down the hallway.
Once the elevator door opened and Tara jumped in, he spoke. “You really gonna walk away again without saying anything?”
“I already said everything that I needed to say,” she replied with her head down.
He took a step forward and lifted her chin up with his hand to face him.
She looked him in the eye.
“I was never good at explaining how I feel.” He started again, his hand still on her chin. “I’m sorry for that. You’re right. I never knew how much it affected you or what you went through. Just give me a moment to make it right. I know it’s been so long, but at least let me try to understand.”
She closed her eyes, then gently grabbed his hand and lowered it from her chin.
“I’m going home to my family, Zay.”
With that, she turned and walked to the elevator door. She pressed the button and stood with her back turned to him as she waited.
Zay didn’t move. He just stood there and watched her quietly. Each moment, his heart broke all over again.
When the door opened, she walked inside, turned and faced him, and pressed the down button from inside. They both stared into each other’s eyes, and as the door closed, he saw her wipe a tear from her cheek.
Tara had been waiting for her, but when Love stepped out of the elevator, she shot past her and out of the building doors. When she got to her car, she stepped inside, pressed the button to turn the car on, and gripped the wheel in silence.
It wasn’t rage she felt, or even anger. It was heartbreak. She remembered how heartbreak never really ended; it just buried itself deeper.
And now, it surfaced again.
Winter 2008
It had been almosttwo months since that call from Zay in Amsterdam.
No texts. No follow-ups. Nothing.
Princess told herself she was over it, that silence was an answer all on its own. That she’d been stupid to expect anything different from a boy chasing the world with no map for how to love someone while doing it. But the ache in her chest lingered. Even when she laughed with her new friends on campus. Even when she buried herself in poetry assignments and avoided playlists that reminded her of him.
She’d just finished reading the syllabus for her upcoming Intro to Creative Writing class. Her lap was warm from the sun and the weight of the thick paperback she could barely see over her belly. It now curved like a quiet truth beneath her hoodie, now undeniable.
Her cell phone buzzed. She stared at the screen and gasped.
