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In the middle of the night, I was the only one there. It was an indoor facility, so there was no cover to remove, no prep work to perform. I could simply dive straight in. Settling into an easy pace, the motions and movement were so routine I executed them without conscious thought. The flow and Zen sense of balance all started to pervade me, restoring my sense of self even as it removed my need for it.
That feeling, as transcendent and elusive as it sounded, I almost expected. It happened more often than not when I swam. What surprised me was the person I looked up and found standing at the edge of the pool.
CHAPTER 9
Emma
I couldn’t sleep. I was usually a pretty good sleeper, but not tonight. Tonight I had too much on my mind. And I realized I missed my parents.
I didn’t live with them anymore. I’d been on my own really since I was 18 and went off to college at Florida Atlantic. I’d moved back to Vero afterward, but into my own apartment. But they’d always been right there, a short drive away. It wasn’t as if we spent all our time together having heart-to-hearts. My dad wasn’t much of a talker, really, and my mom was always hustling and bustling around.
But I realized that being around them felt so reassuring to me. Even when craziness was going down with my horribly failed attempts with boyfriends, all it took was folding some laundry with Mom or doing some yardwork with Dad and everything felt all right again. They were such nice, reliable people, my mom a nurse, my father a property manager for a few local commercial buildings. They took care of things and people, watered lawns for neighbors on vacation, remembered birthdays. I wanted to be like them when I grew up.
At 25, shouldn’t I already feel grown up? Why did I still feel like a kid, mucking my way through life without a clue? I’d started on this adventure so excited about the scheme Tori and I had hatched. We could take our blog to the next level! Get all kinds of crazy exposure, all while having the times of our lives!
She was already in Rio, part of the early PR crew covering the set-up, starting the hype. From her texts, it was everything she’d expected and more. And she hadn’t even met the athletes yet! She couldn’t wait.
Me? I felt like I’d completely lost my mooring. If I discovered untold stories from Chase’s past, how would I feel about telling them to the world? I was starting to think I’d feel like shit. He must have reasons he’d kept things quiet. And from what I’d learned about him, they were probably good reasons. He didn’t seem like a frivolous person, deciding to deny interviews just for the hell of it. And I was starting to feel awful for my ulterior motive in getting to know him.
Besides, other motives were quickly jockeying for top position. The more I learned about him, the more intriguing I found him. Yes, he burned with a fierce intensity that could, maybe even should scare me off. Instead, I felt thrilled by him. He truly amazed me with what he’d been through and the goals he was fighting so hard to achieve. And when he turned that intensity on me? Holy hell, I’d nearly burst into flames by the side of that pool. I hadn’t seen him the rest of the day, but I could still feel where our bodies had touched, where he’d pressed against me. Hard, urgent, driving me out of my mind.
I’d gone out to dinner with the women I’d become friendly with over the week, the ones I’d headed out with the other night. And I hadn’t answered Chase’s call. Maybe it was immature of me, but I felt so in over my head. I needed some time to figure things out.
But my mind raced so much I couldn’t sleep. Wide awake at two a.m., I laced up my sneakers and went out for a walk, just from the hotel to the swim complex and back. It was a safe area, and the distance wasn’t far. Hopefully, it would be enough to calm my restless energy.
When I got to the swim center, I saw a light on inside. Somehow, I knew who it was. Who else would be up in the middle of the night restless with pent-up energy?
Despite the warnings going off in my head—hadn’t I felt like I needed some distance?—I walked in and found him in the pool, swimming laps. He stopped when he saw me at the edge.
“Getting in an extra work out?” I asked.
“What are you doing here?”
“I couldn’t sleep.”
He pulled up his goggles and we looked at each other. Then he pulled himself out of the pool. Even that looked like poetry in motion, such fluid strength with all that water sluicing off of him, streaming down his ripples of muscles.
“Give me a sec.” He strode off to the changing room, then came out about three minutes later in a T-shirt and shorts.
“That was quick.” I looked at his wet hair. He’d been wearing a cap while he swam, so he must have showered.
“Like I’ve said before, I can be quick when I need to. But when I can, I like to take my time.”
There was no mistaking the double meaning in his words this time around. I looked down, feeling shy and somewhat overwhelmed at how strongly I responded to him. With a few words, he had my pulse racing.
“Let me walk you back to your room.” He wrapped my hand in his and together we started off, flicking off the lights and making sure the door was locked behind us. The crickets were loud in the hot, humid summer night, serenading us as we walked. Under the street lights, we traveled the sidewalk. With the difference in our heights, you wouldn’t expect it would be so easy to walk side by side. He had quite a bit more leg length than I did. But, like so many other things between us, we easily clicked, falling into step as if we’d been doing it our whole lives.
There, in the middle of the night with Chase, I felt a strange sense of peace. All the jitters that had followed me throughout the day melted away at the touch of his hand, the heat I felt radiating from his body. I just loved being around him.
We reached the hotel too soon. I wished we could keep on walking, but we headed into the lobby and over to the bank of elevators.
“Third floor, right?” he asked, still holding my hand, punching the key. I nodded, not bothering to ask how he knew. By now I knew the man was interested in me. He must have asked the front desk and thought about stopping by, maybe had some time while I was out.
When we got to my door, he stopped and reached out a hand to caress my cheek, then my chin with his thumb. “We both have a lot on our minds,” he murmured.
I nodded, not wanting to say good night, but not sure what I wanted to happen next. It felt like something big was happening between us, something I’d never experienced before. I didn’t know what to do with myself.
“Do you want to come in?” I asked, looking at his chest.
“Do you want me to?” He tilted my chin so I was looking up at him. He searched my eyes.
I closed them, feeling too vulnerable. But I rested my head against his chest and he wrapped his arms around me, holding me there so strong and secure I about decided I wanted to move in. My new home: his arms.
“Yes,” I decided, moving to take out my room card and unlock the door. He followed behind me and I flicked on the light.
“Why is your room so small?” he asked, sounding affronted on my behalf.
I looked around. It was a standard room in a standard hotel, a double bed, bureau and TV, plus a side table with a desk chair. Nothing to write home about, but not upsetting.
“This is what everyone’s room is like. Except yours.” I recalled he had a nice set-up in a suite. Because he was one of the VIPs on the swim team? Or because he’d paid out-of-pocket for an upgrade? I didn’t know, and felt nosy asking.
“You’ll get upgraded in the new hotel,” he assured me.
“That’s nice, Chase, but not necessary.”
“Yes, it is,” he insisted.
“Have you not stayed in many regular hotel rooms?”
“Sure I have. But I can’t stay in a suite with you in a box like this. I had no idea.”
“It hasn’t been bad.”
“You’re too nice,” he chastised, taking me in his arms again. “You should have thrown a fit once you saw where they were putting me up.”
/> “I’m not big on throwing fits,” I admitted. I’d grown up in a calm, drama-free environment and had learned to love it. As much as Tori entertained me with her ups and downs, I myself was no fan of drama. I hoped someday I’d meet a man who felt the same way. And then it hit me. Maybe I had.
“You’re shaking,” he whispered into my hair, his hands along my back, and I realized he was right. “Are you all right?”
All right? It was three in the morning and I hadn’t slept at all. I felt so messed up and confused about what was right and what was wrong. Half of me wanted to jump him and have wild porno sex all night long. The other half of me remembered how I’d felt all day and night before I’d seen him again—like I needed a breather.
“I’m scared,” I admitted.
“Of me?” he asked, pulling back a few inches to look at my face.
