Alexei looked down, unable to hold my accusing gaze. The general, on the other hand, continued to stare at me, but his anger shifted. He no longer looked at me with disapproval. Instead, it was like he was regarding me in a new light.
“I should’ve known that was how you’d train me—scaring me into action. Or maybe this session served only to see what I could do.” My head flopped back, resigned. “But I don’t know how to calm or wield my Glory when I’m scared,” I admitted. And knowing it might help, I decided to give them another piece of myself.
“There are five tally marks on my back. They started when I was five. One slice for every time I accidentally used my Glory, knowing Michael was coming. His special gifts to me—for sensing something evil and disgusting in my power. He didn’t know he was talking about my Infernus. The only one who knew was my mom.
“When I was ten, he bound my powers. Thirteen, when I broke out of my binding. And still, my mother lived in fear someone would find her miracle child if I used them.”
A tear trailed down my cheek, but my arms were too tired to move. I couldn’t even wipe it away.
Oliver took my hand and held it, which only made the ache harder to blink away. It wasn’t reliving the past that caused my tears, it was just being so tired of all the shit I constantly had to go through. And knowing it wasn’t over.
The general crouched next to me, pulled off his glove, and gently wiped my cheek. That didn’t help either. If anything, it made it worse. Alexei kneeled in the mud and grabbed a handkerchief from a pocket, handing it to the general.
“Females cry a lot around me.” He winked. “And it’s clean, I swear.”
I laughed, shooting him a grateful smile. Then Rune decided to help and licked a long line up my face. I grimaced, laughing harder.
I looked back up at the golden irises that kept flashing black, as if the general was unsettled by this entire conversation.
“General—”
“Ronen,” he interrupted, brushing away my tears and Rune’s slobber with the soft cloth.
“Ronen,” I said. “I’m behind. I’d only just begun learning to control my Infernus in Elora, while my Glory remained blocked,” I explained. “I need more than training that throws me into the deep end.” I closed my eyes, hating to admit this aloud—to the two most skilled warriors in Hell, and to two people who had doubted me. “I need you to teach me the basics as much as the harder lessons.”
Warm fingers brushed my cheek, and I opened my eyes to Ronen nodding, a solemn expression on his face.
“Okay,” he whispered.
“That easy?”
Alexei squeezed my other hand. “We’ll teach you the basics of your angelic power, beautiful. Your Infernus…” He trailed off.
“My father is helping me with that.”
“Then it’s settled,” Ronen murmured, scooping me up into his arms. “And it’s time we get you and Oliver to Sam.”
I rested my head against his shoulder, catching one last glance of Alexei picking up Oliver.
“Thank you.”
“No, Lucille. Thank you.”
“For what?”
His beautiful black wings unfurled, and he launched us into the night sky.
“For existing.”
Chapter
Thirty-One
LUCILLE
later that night, I couldn’t fall asleep. I should’ve been trying to connect with my mom or Aspen, but Ronen’s gentle touches and soft gaze kept taking over. The more I thought about it, the more I beat myself up for reimagining it. Over and over the thoughts circled until I slipped out of bed and padded to the library in my slippers and pajamas. If I couldn’t sleep, I might as well do something to help Aspen.
I clenched my fists, standing in front of the library doors. I wanted to smack that sickening smile off Michael’s face and rip him to pieces. My Infernus whispered in my ears, its familiar tune calling to my vengeful heart, begging me to pull at the black flames and seek him out. But I didn’t dare touch the haunting melody.
