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She sobbed, more tears welled in her eyes before she tried to look away, but I was unyielding. This was it, the last shot, and I wasn’t going to let her not feel my love for her; she had to feel it. “Sienna, tell me what I can do to make you stay. Give me a list. I’ll do all of it. All the other demands I’d declined before, consider them done.” My eyes flickered back and forth, seeking more from her. “Don’t take my future away, please. You’re the one. You’re my wife. In my heart, you’re my wife.”
“Blake, don’t—”
“You’re in love with me, Sienna.” She moaned when I gently rolled my hips on her mound. “You don’t have to lie to keep me away because I’m not going anywhere. Never wish me away.”
Seeking her lips, the kiss consumed us both. She was delirious, heels and hands pulling my boxers off. She gave a delicious purr when my c**k sprung free and sat in between her wet folds. “Baby, I need you.” She tried to take hold of my c**k to guide it into her, however I wasn’t going to give in—not just yet—not until I got what I wanted. Her. All of her.
A hungered groan came from within as I teased her wet entrance. “I want to hear the words, cara.”
“Blake, I want you,” Sienna whispered, opening her legs wider.
Good, but not enough. I pressed half of the head into her channel, feeling the sweet opening stretch with my strength, choking it, before I pulled it out. “Try again.”
She pouted, before relenting. “Please, Blake, make love to me.”
“Not the right words, either.” I knew she understood what I wanted to hear. She held the key for our happiness. I wasn’t going to give in for a quick shagging in exchange of our future, no matter how mind-numbing, explosive or one of a kind. No. I wanted everything. The wedding. The wife. The house. The children. The dogs and the whole bloody damn picket fence. I wanted everything, but all of that meant nothing without Sienna.
“I can’t.”
She was being truly difficult. We loved each other. Even though we were going through a tricky situation, I knew, deep down, we still loved one another. I didn’t get why she had to leave me. I’d do anything to keep her. “Apologies, but I can’t give you what you want, either.”
Sienna whimpered. “You’re being cruel.”
“I’m a desperate man who’s in love with a woman, pleading for her to stay with me, to be with me, love me.” Our eyes met and time stood still. “And I’m staring into her eyes, waiting.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“The best things never are, amore.” Trailing kisses over her br**sts, a nipple caught my lip. The pebbled rosebud teased the tip of my tongue.
“Blake, please. I need you inside me.” Sienna shifted her hips so that the tip of my shaft could easily slide into her, yet I moved it to the side.
“You can have all of me. I’m not settling for anything less. It’s all or nothing. Take your pick.”
Sienna looked frustrated, but the pain in her soul was going through so much more. “I’m hurting you too much. I don’t deserve you.”
“I hurt more when you’re not with me.” Which was something I didn’t want to go through ever again.
She shook her head, persistent. “People see how unhappy you are.” She bit her bottom lip, cupping my cheek. “I don’t want that. You deserve someone else better; someone like Adriana.”
The rest of the world could go to hell. “Love me, that’s all I ask. I will never want to go away, Sienna. Never fear that. No matter the difficulty, I will always stay. Always. I don’t want anyone else. I want you, Sienna. You. Always and only f**king you. Don’t make me suffer because you don’t think you deserve me. I get to choose who I want to be with and I choose you. I will always f**king choose you, don’t you see that? It was always meant to be you.” I paused, uncertain. “Unless your feelings have changed.” My voice shook, trying not to think of Matthews and how he wanted Sienna pregnant. “Unless you want to leave because you’ve fallen for someone else… fallen back into his arms again…” I was rotting inside when she didn’t say anything. “Unless you’ve fallen completely out of love with me and promised yourself to someone else.” Fuck, the thought hadn’t entered my mind until now. I felt suddenly numb and completely ill. I rolled off her body and sat on the other side of the bed.
When she didn’t move or say a word, I gathered whatever courage I had and stood up, shaky as I stared at the pouring rain on the balcony, which hadn’t let up, then further out at the sea. “If you plan to be with him. I beg you, please, don’t say anything.” Images of her making love to him, married and pregnant with his child, simply killed me.
“Blake.”
I wanted to answer her, but my throat felt too constricted. It was difficult to open my mouth. My chest felt like it would combust from the heavy weight of pain it was being put through. Had I known she was planning to leave me… had I known… I would’ve taken her somewhere far away; a place where no one could reach us, so I could keep her there, keep her with me and not let any other man ever touch her.
When my phone rang, I gathered it on autopilot. My heart shattered with the sight of Kyle Matthews’s number flashing before my very eyes. Let her go, the voice in me obliged. Set her free. My heart pounded harder.
Without looking her in the eyes, I handed her my mobile. “He’s been worried. I think hearing your voice will make him feel better. I’ll have the pilots on standby in case you want to go to him. Or if you want them to get him in Los Angeles and bring him to you in London, they could do that, too. Just tell them what you want, they’ll give it to you.”
When I heard her take the call, I pulled some pants on and walked out of that room so fast that it made my head spin. I sought the cool darkness in the library. The fireplace barely made a dent in soothing my shattered soul, though. I drowned my sorrows while my ears were tuned to the sound of the door; the sound of her leaving me, my life, for good.
It took an hour until I heard her knock on the door. I knew it was her because her knocks were soft, like a little girl, shy but persistent.
Normally I would’ve called out for her to enter, though for the life of me, I couldn’t move because I knew my life would end in a few minutes—seconds even. I was going to say goodbye to the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It would end here, in this library, in this home. Hell’s arms were wide open, ready to embrace me the second she walked out of my life.
