The rest of my body was freezing. When I turned my head, the muscles in my neck seemed to snap with icy friction. Dimly, I realized Selena was pulling me to the surface.
We broke through, and once my mouth was out of the water, I released a sound primal and deep, a growl that should only come from a nightmare. My limbs wracking, I was left powerless to stop. For a moment, I doubled over in the water, Selena hovering near, ready for any indication she should help, her face split between patience and worry. Then I screamed and fell forward, my voice traveling through the cold water, fusing with the bubbles rising out of my mouth.
My body began to fold and unfold, ravel and unravel, limp as a piece of yarn coiled into a ball then straightened out again. My legs gleamed metallic, ankles crossed, feet splayed in opposite directions, until they didn’t look like feet anymore.
They thinned and curved, elongated, spreading into wide, flat planes of flexible metal, lightning in color until they were pale gold and shimmering.
I turned away from Selena, ready to vomit.
She reached out in concern until she realized what I was doing, then gently took my hand and towed me away from the contents of my stomach. I vomited twice more, and the Naiad continued pulling me through the water, releasing me to bear the painful aftermath of transition without a word.
Lights flashed in my vision. I closed my eyes, but the flashing continued beneath my eyelids, prying into my brain, my head pounding, nausea building.
My muscles settled into dull, paralyzing pain every time I moved, and exhaustion began to sink in. I didn’t lose consciousness like I had before—perhaps that had been from taking a breath of Naiad air without the release of giving it back. Floating prostrate across the surface, a numb tingle ran down my spine, following the length of my body to my fingers and toeslike the pins and needles that come from sitting too long in one position.
“Do you want to stay?” Selena asked softly. “Or would you rather go to the beach?”
I stroked my tail, mute with disbelief. I could understand why some Naiads would want dry land. My tail was long and muscular, and I could feel the power of it as I arched right and left, watching my fins wave gracefully around me.
It was heavy. It dragged me down.
But I liked the water. I liked its embrace. It was more welcoming than air or sand. It had its own personality, its own voice, and the salt in its touch was soothing across my stinging skin. I didn’t immediately answer Selena, not knowing what I’d prefer. Instead, I slid my hands down my hips, fingers running along silky scales as I experimented with the weight of my tail to keep afloat.
“Push down with your tail while using your abdomen to sit up,” Selena said, watching me. “It will help you keep your head above water.”
I tried it, and though the movement was clumsy and I lost equilibrium, I could feel it there, the brace of the water beneath me, willing to hold me up if I could only get the angles and muscles of my tail right. So, I tried again, and then again, my body tired and sore. Finally, I succeeded. Sitting upright, my chest rose above the waves.
Selena followed suit, and we smiled at each other, victorious. “How do you feel?” she asked.
“Tired,” I said, though triumph danced quietly through me, hot and exciting. “Heavy.”
“You’re no heavier than you were before. Your body is just different. Your bones end at your tail; fins and flukes are all cartilage,” Selena said. “We can stay here however long you like.We can practice swimming, or we can move to shore. You are in control. This is your transition.”
I wasn’t certain I was up for swimming. I could barely keep myself afloat. Glancing at the beach, everything was where we’d left it. One corner of the blanket flipped up as if the wind had kicked it.
“We could sit in the shallows if you want both options,” Selena offered, and I released a brief burst of laughter, too aware of the irony that Selena, without knowing me very long, seemed to know me so well. I nodded, and we began cutting through the water toward the beach.
“How fast are you?” I asked, watching Selena effortlessly glide under the surface. The hue of her tail was darker than I’d realized, steel-gray like the hilt of a sword.
“Fast,” Selena said, smiling. “Naiads are the fastest creatures in the sea.” Hands at her sides, she moved with precise and fluid curves of her tail while I floundered beside her.
She didn’t comment when I reached the beach, then changed my mind and swam back out. I was exhausted, my tail vaguely throbbing. Sharp heat jolted through me unexpectedly when I turned a certain way or stretched myself completely out, though the burn was beginning to abate.
I’d spent my life admiring Nori and Olinne, and now that I could move like them, the temptation to soak in the experience was stronger than the need for rest. Selena trailed me, softly offering advice at my swimming, though she mostly watched, calm and quiet.
When the Naiad announced it was time to head in at the first sign of sunrise, I reluctantly beached myself on the sand to wriggle and flop out of the reach of water. Selena transitioned to human form and took my hands, hauling me up to the blanket. It was then my body chose to give in to fatigue, the last few hours spent on borrowed energy, my sore muscles rebelling againstextended use. I dropped to my side and fought to keep my eyes open while Selena stood against the early pink sky, gazing at me naked, hands on her hips in exasperation.
Stealing the remaining drinking water from the basket, she doused me in it. The abrupt attack didn’t shock me as it might have had I been dry, but it was cold. I hiked myself up on my elbows, shooting her a look of incredulity.
“I’m washing the salt off,” Selena said, a small bite to her words. “It will make it easier to change back.” She gestured for me to try.
I had no idea where to start. I sat up, gazing down at my pale gold tail.
I loved it. I’d never loved a part of myself before.
“I don’t know how,” I said, though my flat tone said something else entirely.
I don’t want to.
