And I didn’t care, as I was called to stand alone on the dais, that a thousand eyes bore into me with morbid interest, or that my muscles hardened and my pulse screamed in my ears. I didn’t care that the hair at my nape stood on end, or my stomach tightened with the urge to run. I didn’t care that the worthless lout that had forced me into this situation was too cowardly to even come to the Summer Solstice and stand next to me.
I didn’t care. Until King Emilius spoke.
“My Lords and Ladies, thank you for attending this dinner tonight in honor of the house of Laurier. Each one of you was petitioned for your presence to bear witness to the announcement of days ahead. The next chapter in Calder’s story, and in my own.
“With words of strife and ill-intent from our neighboring kingdom to the north, moods have been soured these past few years, and especially in recent months. It’s with a prideful,heavy heart that I announce I’ve made my second-born son a commander in Calder’s army.”
What?
Unable to glance behind me at the King, I wrapped my focus around his words, willing my blood pressure to calm so I could hear him.
“He could not be here tonight because he is preparing for travel. A week from now, I shall send Prince Nikolaos to oversee matters in our Winterlight encampments along the mountainside and report back to me with the status of training and the arrival of our allies from Illuskia. The burden of announcing this news is dwarfed, however, by the precious relief we shall all feel when Nikolaos returns with an account of our current army conditions.”
My mind whirred.
Kye. In a training encampment. In the mountains.
Not across the hall.
I should have been relieved. Living across from him had grown exhausting. Listening for his heartbeat every night. Fending off flirtatious glances along with death threats. He was the most mercurial man I’d ever met. I hated him, I reminded myself.
Hated him, hated him, hated him.
Had promised myself I’d kill him.
How far away were the mountains?
“It is on the tail of this news that I present to you tidings I hope you will find worthy of your own delight,” the King continued, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Prince Nikolaos has announced his intention to marry. He has beseeched the household of his future bride for her hand, and we are pleased to report that they have acceded our request. Nuptial negotiation aside, a date has been set, and I hope you will all be in attendance to watch my son take his vows six days from now, when he marries Lady Maren Inoa of Leihani.”
Selena came to me after the announcement ended, eyes wide with worry. I brushed against her as I pushed her arms away, floating toward the drink table, the King’s voice echoing in my ears.
Six days.
Six days?
“Maren.”
A sparkling flute poised at my mouth, I paused. “Did you know? That it would be this soon?”
Cool fingertips landed on the back of my arm, but I ignored them as I threw the contents of the glass back. It fizzled down my throat, kindling to the fire in my belly.
Selena sighed through her nose. “I found out this morning. Maren—”
I didn’t stay to listen. Ignoring any platitudes she thought I was dense enough to withstand, I marched past her, aiming for the doors.
I needed wind on my face. A full view of the moon and stars. Salt in my lungs. Somehow a force of ancestral wisdom and new birth.
I needed the sea.
Across the great hall, through archways and a palace of sparkling glass, I found myself at the southernmost tip of the palace grounds. At the edge of the world, nothing below my feet but red cliffs and angry water.
A hundred feet below.
I watched it crash and recede, pale foam flecking away among the rocks. And I wondered what it would feel like if I broke my vow to Thaan.
The pins in my hair began to incite a dull throb into my scalp. I pulled them out one by one, sending them down to the dark waves. What would happen if I climbed down to the water and touched it? If I told Sidra where I was, and she came to claim me?
Would she still want me for her colony? Aegir had thought me tarnished. A waste. Perhaps she would, too.
