“Wow,” he said, flinching.
She continued her onslaught. “I’m going back to New York, Hayden. Mimi’s fine, the shop is in good shape, and the house is finished. There’s no reason for me to stay.”
“No reason at all?” He scowled. “Not a single one you can think of?”
She fought to keep her chin from trembling. “Not a single one.”
He stood still. “Then I guess you’d better get packing.”
His words pierced her. He was giving up that easily?Of course he is.They all did, even Mimi at one time. Where was her grandmother when Tracey was dragging Riley all over the state, even into Oklahoma and Missouri, when Riley was a child? Why had she only agreed to let Riley live with her when she was a teenager?
Hayden pulled out his cell phone, then turned his back on Riley. “Tanner. Hey. Can you pick me up? Cool. Here’s the address.”
Riley stared at Hayden’s back. The calm way he was talking to Tanner drove the spear deeper into her heart. So much for all his words about patience and never leaving. It didn’t take much time—what, four or five weeks?—before he gave up on her. That had to be a record. At least Tracey and Mimi had kept her around for years.
Her heart burned as she got into the car and sped out on the dirt road. The tears fell, cool on her hot cheeks. Anger filled her. This was all her fault. She never should have let Hayden get close to her, but she’d ignored all the alarm bells in her brain. She wouldn’t be feeling this intense pain if she had kept her distance and blocked him out of her heart. But he had been so persistent. So charming. So wonderful. So perfect and everything she had ever wanted... but knew she could never have.
She wiped the tears from her cheek with the palm of her hand and let out a bitter laugh. What a fool she’d been to think life could be any different. That he was different.But I’m the one pushing him away.
She had to admit to her part in it, but better she cut ties now than later. Because she had been well on her way to falling in love with him. And if she was hurting this much now, she would have been fractured into a million pieces if she’d admitted she loved him. There would have been no way she could put herself back together then.
***
Hayden had to force himself not to throw his phone across the field. A smashed phone wouldn’t fix his and Riley’s relationship. Correction, ex-relationship. Instead, he shoved it in the pocket of his khaki pants, feeling a seam in the fabric rip. He didn’t care. The fury inside him took over his innate ability to gather his emotions and set them aside. His greatest fear had come true.
All this time he thought he was making headway with Riley. That she felt the same about him as he did about her. That they might have a future together some day. Of course he knew he had his work cut out for him, and she was not only worth it, but he’d hoped he was getting closer to her heart. Then she wrecked that hope with a few choice words. She was going to leave Maple Falls the same way she’d arrived—closed, distant, self-protected. The only thing left for him to do was piece his heart back together.
He paused, wiping the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand. Not all of his perspiration was due to the heat and humidity. He took in a couple deep breaths and counted to ten. That settled him a bit, cleared the red flames of anger in his brain so he could sort out his thoughts. He pulled out his phone again and texted Doug. He used his personal number only in emergency situations.
Having a bad time. Can we set up an appointment this week? Hayden
He stared at his cell phone, not expecting an answer right away. Just reaching out to his counselor calmed him enough that he was able to see how much Riley was hurting. And what had he done? Piled on the hurt. He’d seen the pain in her eyes before she left, which was why he turned his back to her. He didn’t want to cave in. Not this time. It was time for him to face reality. He’d wanted to earn her trust, but how could he do that when she refused to give him a chance? She wasn’t the only one who was in pain.
His phone pinged and a text popped up.
Sure. I’m free tomorrow morning at 8.
Hayden responded, then set a reminder of the appointment in his phone and another to tell his father he would be going to work late. He probably didn’t need the reminders. How could he forget any of this happened? But he was used to doing it for his counseling appointments, and old habits died hard with him. He put his phone back in his pocket and waited for Tanner, who showed up a short while later in his Jeep. Fortunately his friend didn’t say anything as he drove him back to the church and parked next to his Subaru.
“Hey, dude, if you need me, give me a call,” Tanner said.
Hayden turned to him and nodded. “Thanks.” Then he got out of the vehicle and opened his own car door. Instead of leaving right away, he turned on the air and sat there, letting it cool his skin.
He knew Riley would follow through on her promise to leave. She probably had one foot out the door the moment Tracey showed up. He believed love could overcome a lot of things, but not if the other person wasn’t at least willing to meet partway. Riley obviously couldn’t. Or wouldn’t.Either way it didn’t matter.
“Maybe it’s for the best,” he muttered as he shifted into gear and left the church. Cutting the cord now would save a lot of heartache.
He couldn’t imagine his heart hurting more than it did right now.
Chapter16
Erma faced her daughter for the first time in fifteen years. She sat on one side of the kitchen table, Tracey on the other. Riley was right: her daughter looked awful.
If she was sober, it was a recent sobriety. Erma could see the drug scars on her arms that she tried to hide with a too thin burgundy sweater that was obviously secondhand, if not third. Her heart started to break, but then she shored it back up again. Tracey had made her own decisions, and she had to face the consequences.
Still, a mother’s heart could never be completely hardened toward a child, and that was why Erma had agreed to talk to her after the service today, despite the doubtful looks of the BBs, who had surrounded her the moment the service ended.
“How is Riley doing?” Tracey asked, pressing her fingers against the vinyl tablecloth.
