What I Want
You, Britt. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m so into you, and always will be.
I love you, H.
P.S. Excuse the drawings. I’m missing my art lessons.
P.P.S. Please give me another chance.
She looked at the next three pages. One was a beach scene, and he’d executed it perfectly, the combinations of colors and shading bringing the sea to life. Floating on the waves were two stick figures on surfboards, their stick arms touching each other where their hands would be. She hadn’t taught him how to draw people yet. She couldn’t help but chuckle. He’d sketched a heart around the couple and wroteHunter <3 Britt.
She folded the letter, put it back in the envelope, and gave it back to Maude.
“What are you doing?” Maude pushed it back at her.
“I don’t want it,” she lied.
The woman looked like her head was going to explode. “That boy wrote you a whole bunch of sweet nothings—”
“How do you know?” Britt asked. “Did you read it?”
“Of course not. I could tell he did by your expressions while you were reading. The twinkle in your eye, the smile on your face... You’re trying to hide how much you care about him. And, I might add, you’re not succeeding. At all.”
Britt got up from her chair. “You don’t understand.”
“What’s there to understand? You two love each other. Why are you letting a misunderstanding tear your relationship apart? Unless you’re using that as an excuse to push him away. You are, aren’t you?” She got up from her chair and went to her.
Britt faced Maude, trying to keep her chin up. “He’s turning his life around.”
“That’s a good thing, Britt.”
“He’s going back to college, and he’ll do well. He’ll find his path, and he’ll have the resources, intelligence, and ambition to succeed.”
“Don’t you want that for him?”
“Yes,” she said, her throat tight. “More than anything. But he’ll end up getting bored with me, tired of my issues—”
“Or he’ll love and cherish you for who you are.” She peered at Britt. “What are you truly afraid of?”
Everything.But that wasn’t totally true. Over the past couple months she’d discovered there were plenty of things in her life and the world that she wasn’t afraid of.
Maude patted her cheek. “When you figure it out, you’ll know what to do.” She collected her megaphone and held it up. “From my cheerleading days. Those taters are calling my name, Britt. See you soon.”
She watched her leave, then sat back down at the table, looking at Hunter’s letter. Maude obviously left it on purpose.
Britt pulled it out again. Reread it several times. Looked at the adorable picture he drew.He’s so perfect.
Her head shot up. No, he wasn’t perfect. He had problems and issues. Big ones, actually.Just like me.She’d put him on a pedestal, one he never asked or wanted to be on. And even though he hadn’t told her about his past or his family, she’d held things back from him too. They were more alike than different.
They were also better together.
She got out her phone, texted Dad, then waited a few minutes for a response. When he didn’t text her back, she didn’t panic. There was time for them to talk. She hurried to her bedroom, grabbed some clean clothes, and went to the bathroom, catching a glimpse of her neglected self in the mirror. No more wallowing. No more excuses.
She was going to start living again.
***
By Thursday, Hunter had given up on hearing from Britt. He had to figure out how to regroup, but he wasn’t sure how. He’d deleted YouTube from his phone, even though she hadn’t put her channel back up. That was a start. But it didn’t keep him from thinking about her, wanting her, wishing for her to come back.
