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Of course he would magically be able to keep himself looking perfect when I probably looked as used as I felt.
He tossed the tissues in his trash can.
“I have a meeting to get to. Clean yourself up in my washroom.” He inclined his head toward the door to his left. “There’s an iron in the linen closet if you need it for your shirt.”
I stared at him. He hadn’t come. “You didn’t… I thought…”
“When I fuck you for the first time, it’s going to be somewhere private so I can enjoy every sound you make and take as much time as I’d like.”
“But aren’t you—”
“I’ve learned how to deny myself and wait for what I want because I know eventually, I’ll have everything I’ve ever desired.”
He slipped out the door then, leaving me standing there with my pants around my ankles, sticky with cum and sore from his punishment, but I hadn’t missed the fact that he barely opened the door, making certain no one could see in.
That’s because he thinks you’re his property, and he doesn’t want to share you with anyone else.
Or was it because he was protecting me? No, I couldn’t let myself imagine him having tender feelings. I hitched my pants up and hobbled into the bathroom.
It was far larger than the one in my apartment and much more richly decorated. There was a stack of washcloths in a basket on the counter. I took one, cleaned myself up, then placed it in the basket that seemed to be for dirty linen. I tucked my shirt back in. I probably should iron it as Lucien had suggested, but I didn’t trust my shaky hands to hold an iron. As unsettled as I was, I’d likely burn a hole in it.
When I had my pants fastened, I finally let myself really look in the mirror. My hair was sticking up at crazy angles, my cheeks were bright pink, and my lower lip was puffy from where I’d bitten it again and again as I’d done my best not to be too loud. Had Lucien’s assistant and the others in the office heard me? Did they know what he’d done? I didn’t think he’d be shy about staking his claim on me.
I own you.
How the fuck had I gotten myself into this, and what could I do about him expecting me back tomorrow?
When I fuck you for the first time, it’s going to be somewhere private.
Was there any chance I could get away from him? Anything I could say to change his mind?
Not after the way I’d responded to him this morning. I certainly couldn’t convince him I didn’t want him because I did. My body did at least, but I was afraid of him—of his power, of his ability to just take over my life and make demands. He hadn’t hesitated to spank me until my ass burned. What else would he do to me if I disobeyed?
He’d mentioned his belt and a cane. That sounded scary as fuck.
My instincts told me he hadn’t lied when he said he’d never damage me and that he wouldn’t force me to do anything I didn’t want. I would never have asked for him to spank me, but I’d enjoyed every second of it.
I didn’t belong in this world, though. I belonged somewhere I could live a quiet life, a place where I didn’t have to confront my fears, where no one expected anything more than adequacy from me.
I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes. I would not cry. I might not be strong. I might not be brave. But somehow I was going to walk out there, sit behind my desk, and make Lucien proud. In that moment, pleasing him was what I wanted. Maybe it was time to stop just surviving and enjoy myself. Or maybe I’d end up discarded by him and dead in a ditch. For now at least, I didn’t have a choice but to obey him.
6
Lucien
Carla attempted to get my attention when I left my office, but I walked right past her. I pushed open my brother’s office door, not in the mood to knock. He glanced up from where he was working or more likely pretending to work. “Lucien, what the fuck?”
I didn’t answer. I just stepped into his bathroom and shut the door. I needed to wash the scent of Peter off my hands. Obviously, I could’ve used my own bathroom, but I needed to get away from him before my resolve broke. If I’d stayed one more minute, if I’d taken Peter into the bathroom to clean him up myself, I would’ve fucked him no matter who was around. I told him I’d honed my control, and that was true. My life demanded it. But something about him was pushing me to my limits. I turned on the cold water and stuck my hands under it, needing to feel something that wasn’t the heat of my desire for that gorgeous boy. The way he looked as he came, the ecstasy on his face…. It had been years since I’d come in my pants, but I’d been fucking close then.
