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“Then we’ll move up ours too. Anything else?”
She shook her head.
“Thank you. I’m going to send my aunt Sabrina in. If you need anything to be comfortable here for now, she’ll help you. We’re working on a plan to get you and the children out of here.”
“You allow your aunt to be involved in your business?” Elena asked. “Damian would never let a woman be anything but decorative.”
“My father tried to run things the same way, but when you meet Sabrina, you’ll understand how impossible that is.”
25
Peter
Since Lola was busy with Elena and her kids, Sabrina made a pot of tea and filled a plate with some of the cookies Lola had made earlier that day. I realized I was still wearing my hat and coat, so I took them off before sitting down at the kitchen bar to eat.
“Talk to me. After what happened the night of DiGiulio’s opening, I can only imagine all the things running through your head.”
I blew out a long breath, not sure what to say. I liked Sabrina, and I knew she was someone who spoke plainly. She clearly had no fear of Lucien or anyone else in the family. But I wasn’t sure I was ready to share what I was feeling with anyone.
“I know you may not believe me, but I won’t repeat what you say. And please believe that whatever made you want to be with Lucien is real.”
How could I believe that?
“His mother died when he was eighteen,” Sabrina said. “Did he tell you that?”
“I knew he lost her, but I didn’t know when.”
“Lucien came out about a year before she died, and she was genuinely happy for him. She made it very clear to his father that the entire family would support him. It was the one thing she ever took a firm stand on against his father. His father listened, but he also began to push Lucien to be more and more involved in the family business. It was clear he was grooming him to take over. While he accepted Lucien sleeping with whoever he wanted, he wouldn’t tolerate any signs of weakness. And he counted any show of emotion, any show of tenderness whatsoever, to be unacceptable.”
I tried to imagine how hard that had been on him. No wonder Sabrina had told me he was more vulnerable than he seemed.
“Franco loves his sons—and Devil who’s basically his son too—but he never showed them the kind of affection their mother did. And for Lucien to lose her when he was already struggling with his sexual identity and his need to be a harsher man than he naturally was… It changed him. He pushed away all his softer feelings, but I’ve seen glimpses of the man he used to be far more often since he met you. Don’t give up on him.”
“I care for him. A lot, but watching him kill a man, and now this… It’s not easy to accept.”
Sabrina covered my hand with hers. “I know. That’s part of our world, and I get that it’s a lot to handle, but I promise those men would have killed him if he’d given them the chance. The ones that came for us would have killed Devil and me without a second thought.”
“How do you stand all the violence? Do you just ignore it? Don’t you ever want to just walk away?”
She shook her head. “All the people I love are part of this world. You can’t ignore the violence completely or you become dead inside, but this is my family. I’ll never leave them.”
“I would never have chosen to get involved with someone like Lucien, but what I feel for him… I just can’t help it. I thought I was ready to accept that before I realized he’d involve little kids in all this. I thought I was maybe even ready to admit that I…”
“Love him?”
I nodded.
“I think Lucien was at that point with you too, but it’s not an easy thing for him to admit. Buying those ponies for you may be the closest he can come to saying the words.”
Did she really mean…? “Wait. You think he’s in love with me?”
Sabrina smiled. “Sweetheart, I’m sure of it. Otherwise, he would have already sent you away so we wouldn’t have an outsider mixed up in all this, but he can’t stand to be away from you.”
Was she right? Was there a chance I could have the fairytale? Lucien was no prince, but he’d give me everything I wanted. If only I could stop remembering those little children and how scared they’d looked as they clung to their mother.
“What will he do to that woman and her children?”
“He won’t hurt them.”
“Will he scare them or threaten to hurt them?”
Sabrina sighed. “Not the children.”
“Who are they?”
“The wife and kids of Damian Ricci, the man behind the war on our family.”
